Reincarnated as a Phoenix

Chapter 202 – Eternal Friendship

---Welcome back! It’s finally time for the last season and hopefully you’ll find what I’ve made interesting enough, thanks for being patient as well. This volume in particular will have a lot of new characters introduced, pretty much all with AI so it’s time to get into the heavenly side of things. Let's see if I can give this last volume justice...

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(Persephone) “*Cough cough*… remind me again why we always do this when we meet up?”

(Kellearzar) “No idea Persephone… just the men wanting to be manly I suppose”

(Dermakvar) “Hmph, cigars before a meal is tradition, was it not? You can never break tradition… even if these do more way harm than good”

(Hades) “Bah, lighten up ladies. This is a one off so who cares about a little treat every now and then?”

(Asmodeus) “Heh, you Olympians and your need for ‘medication’. These things are pure poison… the taste can never be beaten though”

(Dionysus) “Would’ve been better if you had some decent alcohol alongside it, this works well enough though”

(Petra) “Heh, you want a cigar Ikarus? It might make you feel more manly”

…

(Ikarus) “Nah… you’re so annoying at times. Not really into the idea of cancer sticks really”

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---In case appearances have been forgotten. I’d recommend keeping the AI page saved/favourited because it’s all there neatly sorted. I’d rather avoid having to keep posting the same images over and over again if possible.

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Having bid our farewells to the settlement, nearly getting forcibly stopped by the cultists and teleporting before they even had a chance to grab us, minus the parts I’m exaggerating on, we’re now back in the Underworld at the house of Hades

Located at a grand golden dining table with a reddish table mat on top, we’re sharing a meal between my dragon parents, Petra’s abusive father, the two hosting Gods of the Underworld themselves, and good ol’alcoholic Dionysus. Could I have excluded certain parts of that explanation? Yes. Do I care, hell nah…

Why we’re even feasting, or waiting to feast is a question even I’m not completely sure on, mainly down to lack of attention span really. Living like we’re in Victorian London with all the pollution, or cigar smoke in this room is more distracting than you can imagine.

“Remind me again why we’re doing this… honestly thought we’d be in the heavens by now”

“The Gods of the dead have already told you little one, it takes some time to power up the portal. Personally, I’m in agreement with you on wanting to get things moving along quickly, there’s nothing we can do but wait unfortunately”

Ah yes, the secret backdoor entrance to the heavens we’re apparently going to use. Had a quick chat with Asmodeus on the way here and he said the usual way for mortals ascending to the heavens involves dying funnily enough, that only really applies to demi Gods or Gods inheriting a body like with Hephaestus though. For us since we’re already considered heavenly, we just need to use a backdoor.

“All complaints yet you seem to be enjoying the moment enough Dermakvar. Try aiming someplace other than my face please… burning down cities should be enough smoke for a lifetime”

“Yes dear… sorry dear”

By the sounds of it, mother and father were always on good terms with these two Gods so this is a case of tradition, I think? The entire dining hall is filled with cigar smoke originating from the four guys wanting to make their lungs a smoky grey. Think Petra was unsure whether to have one or not but seeing me have no interest in this might have also killed her appeal.

Hey, she can smoke if she wants to be one of the ‘guys’, I just won’t kiss her until she brushes her teeth at least. Seriously though, growing up with a pothead, there’s a legitimate reason why I don’t like this sorta thing… that kissing part sounds sus…

Of course, I didn’t kiss my own brother idiots! I just never liked that burning taste you get from smoking a fag… and no, I’m not allowing that word to be Americanized. I speak commoner British lingo, it’s a pack of fag’s bruv, init? Cigarette just sounds like something a posh snob would say… I’m clearly joking but still. Can’t say or even think about things nowadays…

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As we’re waiting the evening away discussing fuck knows what else, the fabled three fury sisters wander into the hall, all equipped with chef hats and looking to serve. Well, only professional Alecto really, Tisiphone is glaring towards me while Megaera looks half awake.

(Alecto) “Today’s serving will be Peking duck, roasted in a honey like glaze, served with various kinds of vegetables”

(Tisiphone) “If you don’t want that, reckon we’ve got some salad around here somewhere… freaking hate that bird who killed Lenard”

(Megara) “*Yawnnn*… need to bring out more wine as well whiel we’re at it”

‘Huh, guess they provide the meals for the Gods around here as well. Bet this is only going to get stranger now… called it’

Like I just predicted the inevitable, I swear I see the fury sister Megaera giving Dionysus a quick wink before lazily heading off. Last I heard, I thought she was sleeping with Hades’s son, guess she can multitask lovers?

Oh, I really don’t care about all this crap, this honestly feels like we’re the kids at this freaking table! I guess we technically are the youngest, even if Petra is over six hundred, but still!

Thankfully, my divided attention starts to focus a bit more when Persephone and Hades at the head of the table realize something else must get brought to attention.

“Ah, that’s actually a good reminder. Since me and my husband aren’t allowed in Olympus itself, we’ll have to get the Erinyes sisters to guide you up there. It can be slightly overwhelming to first timers”

“Bah, don’t ask the reason why we can’t help you more just yet… especially you girly. Don’t think I didn’t see your head tilt like that”

‘Hey! Why is Hades targeting me? My head doesn’t tilt when I’m curious… or does it? Have I accidently picked that up off Mute or something?’

“Heh, you can’t just leave it like that, Ikarus isn’t the only one who wants to know. There’s got to be a good reason why you’re not allowed up there, God and Goddess of the dead”

Love my gallant wife coming in to defend my honour, or curiosity. Looks like I can act smug when I don’t even need to ask more about Greek myth and lore… I’m such a freaking nerd on this. Screw Hades for prematurely calling me out like that though!

“Bah… it’s not that interesting really. Just comes down to how things were split in the beginning, and how I was screwed over by those traitors”

“Zeus got the land, Poseidon the sea and my adorable but angry husband got the dead. It just so happens; the land of the dead was less of a physical place and more of an idea, locked within this dungeon”

“This is why you can never trust those two-faced bastards with anything! They got everything worthwhile… *Huff*. At least we’ve turned this place into something a little more hospitable I suppose. Weren’t so long ago the pits of Tartarus spewed into every neck and cranny of this dungeon, you should’ve seen the state Elysium was in”

“If it wasn’t for my husband’s soft touch, that flowery paradise would’ve been left to ruin. That world really was the best wedding gift I could have imagined”

“Bah… it was nothing really”

Ah, so I guess the myths translate pretty well to this world, at least the one regarding how things were split up after the titans were defeated. A single dungeon compared to an entire world or the vast oceans would piss anyone off, although I still don’t think this place counts as a regular dungeon. Oh well, trust family and this is what can happen… my dragon family and wife can probably be trusted though.

I’m purposely choosing to ignore the slight blush that’s appeared on Hades’s face though. Tsundereness infects this world like a plague so I’m getting numb to it by this point.

Anyways, after a little more time, the furies return with several bottles of wine and food hidden away under them metallic bowls that you might see at a fancy restaurant. Itadakimasu and all that…

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“*BURPPP*… oops. I forget that goes right through me”

“Dermakvar! Really?”

“It’s perfectly fine Kell, you’re not the only one living with an animal who doesn’t know how to eat properly”

“Never once forced you to remain down here, my dear Persephone. Officially at least, those idiots on Olympus have no idea about anything really”

(Asmodeus) “Been way too long since I’ve had a delicacy like this”

‘Erm… am I missing something here?’

“Heh, you enjoy your food Ikarus? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you leave something before”

“Eh, not that hungry really… I’m more concerned on what they pass off as duck”

Having just finished the meal and getting a load of father being inappropriate belching as loud as a ship horn, we’re now waiting on desert while I’m the only one to leave food on my plate. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t terrible, I’ve had duck before but this ain’t duck. It looks the same, smells the same, damn well tastes like something resembling meat, but something in that was off putting. Either that’s some mystery meat I’ve never had before or, the idiot fury sister added something a little extra to mine…

Ah, Dionysus has already snuck away from the table in search of a little rest, apparently. It’s obvious to me he’s just looking for a little fury booty, I know the gleam that shines in someone’s eye all too well. Petra being the prime example.

“I believe I’m yet to ask, what have you two dragons been up to anyways?”

“Just the same as usual Persephone. Dermak has been getting older but thankfully, his libido is starting to die down in his older years”

‘Perfect dinner table talk; I know mother is referring to his cheating and all but still’

“You’re forgetting something important dear, the fact that demon once held glorious wings like us both”

“Heh, you seem pretty adamant despite the fact I remember nothing of it, elder dragon”

“My nose never lies demon lord; you can never truly be rid of your scales, whether you want to or not”

Right, we also told Asmodeus about the fact his name was once apparently Dignorak and he was friends to my father, not that it got much of a reaction or was worth showing though. Don’t think he believes it or even cares really; his entire persona is knowing the future and oracle love, so best just leave him to himself at times. I guess if you can barely remember your time before becoming a demon lord, it might seem like it’s not your history. I’m lucky I got no amnesia and only stupid sensitive horns from my change.

Unfortunately, the way I was hoping the conversation would lead completely backfires when Persephone gets a sly look on her face, best comparable to the sexy but annoying piece of arse alongside me. That’s devious and sinister…

“Say, me and Hades have never had any problems with things like that. You are making sure to keep things fresh and spicy in the bedroom, right?”

‘I really, really don’t want to be listening to this right now’

“Bah, we’re really having this conversation right now?”

“Of course, my loveable husband. Even dragons in their older years need a spark to keep igniting that fire. Even if that takes a third party, it’s best to keep the blood regularly flowing”

Both of my parents look at her slightly confounded, then father reluctantly decides now’s the time to continue this conversation full of pure intelligence. I think it might finally be time for me to curl up and die.

“Hmph… we’ve tried what the humans do a few times but it doesn’t make much difference. One of them was that prisoners receive, that thing called bond-”

“Lah lah lah! For the love of the Gods…”

I’m now at my breaking point and I can’t just sit still listening to this filth! I swear Persephone is purposely doing this to me, considering the grin she has now directed aiming right at my face!

“…Seriously folks, can you just not? Any topic in the entire world we could talk about, and it has to be this!”

“Hehe, feeling a little left out youngling? You can always share what you two get up to in your free time if you want. I see the lack of innocence behind those cute yet devilish eyes”

…

‘This freaking God is outing me to the family! Wait… we’ve done nothing wrong; I think? That compliment felt conflicting as hell as well’

It doesn’t help Petra’s trying not to laugh from this idiotic situation, thankfully she’s not joining in because we all know exactly what the wife is like. Any moment to make me fluster is fair game.

“Just relax little one, she’s only toying with you. You’ll find most Gods have nothing better to do then discuss stupid matters like this”

“Yes Ikarus. If you think me and your father are bad when it comes to this type of thing, you really have no idea. What do you think Gods of the dead do when their work is over?”

“Bah, you act as if we spend all day organizing the dead, then spending all the nights locked in intimate snuggles!”

“Settle down husband, that’s pretty much what we do. Snuggling is a very tame way of putting it though”

Now sulking while finding out, or already knowing all Gods are annoying, Persephone still can’t help herself but continue on with this grown up talk. At least, it’s less directed towards me now.

“Say, we could always ‘discuss’ other things somewhere a little more private if the younglings aren’t so interested? It’s been a lifetime since all four of us were last together”

‘Why does she say discuss like that? Seriously, that sounded iffy…’

In response to Persephone’s somewhat playful question and reflection, both my parents look at each other with an unsureness about themselves. Then, that quickly turns into something more resembling curiosity.

(Kellearzar) “I guess that would be okay… we haven’t met with each other in a very long time”

(Dermakvar) “Hmph… as long as guess I don’t end stuck with you know who”

“Bah, I’m in agreement with you ancient dragon. That thought isn’t attractive for either of us”

While I’m questioning what the hell is going on, the two couples get up and leave, heading for the bedroom regions of this Underworld palace.

What the fuck? Why not just get us to leave if they really need to have a conversation about sexual stuff? It’s there palace after all.

“Petra… you have any idea what’s going on here?”

“Not sure Ikarus… think I have an idea but you might not like it”

“Heh, you are surprisingly naïve all things considered sister. Your parents and those Gods have been best of friends for the longest of times, not beyond the realms of possibility for there to be intimacy between them”

Wait… is this like that swinging thing where two couples… mother is actually into that!?! Father’s always been a cheat but… you know what, I’m not even going to think about this. I need a strong drink and something to put my mind of this, freaking horny dragons man!

“Heh, seeing that we’re alone Ikar-”

“No”

“Heh, why cut me off so abruptly Ikarus?”

“Don’t think I don’t know your mind Petra. Ah, my parents are off humping so it’s only fair we got do the same, right?”

That’s what this is, right? Petra’s libido comes and goes when it chooses and just hearing the fact that someone else might be getting some makes her jealous. I know how that hamster running in a wheel insider her brain works.

“Heh… was going to suggest heading to the kitchen and getting dessert Ikarus. If you’re desperate though, I guess we can change the plan. We’ve already been offered a room for tonight since the portal will take that long”

‘Sighhh… I’m such a freaking idiot’

Turns out, she only had a sweet tooth so this was my own mind wondering for a change… now that I’ve accidently brought it up, I kinda want to do something now…

I only wish this situation hadn’t come about finding my parents aren’t as exclusive as I first thought, I guess it doesn’t matter that much though. We’re a little different when it comes to this sorta thing… even if we’re flexible enough for Aesa.

By the looks and sounds of it though, Asmodeus can’t help but find this situation funny. He always ends up being a third wheel and this time, both me and Petra seem to forget he was here for a second.

“What’s so funny? You seem to know everything else so me and Petra going off to hump can’t be that funny”

‘Trademark facepalm from the wife coming out, at least I was purposely going for it this time around’

“Heh, true sister, that’s not what’s funny though. It’s just that you’re so obvious at times”

“I’m obvious?”

“Heh, yes sister, obvious. I’ll let you interpret that how you want”

Okay, I think this is Asmodeus’s way of calling me simple. If that’s the case, then fuck you! It’s still not going to spoil the mood though… even if the mood is questionable to hell…