Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken (LN)

PROLOGUE: DEATH AND REINCARNATION

It was just your typical kind of life. I graduated from college, landed a job at a sort-of-big general contractor outfit, and with my older brother taking care of our parents for me, I was currently enjoying all the myriad benefits of the bachelor-pad life. Age thirty-seven. No significant other.

I wasnt exactly short or frumpy or hideous or anything. But when it came to the opposite sex, apparently I had nothing to offer. Id made efforts along those lines, with varying degrees of dedication, but by the third rejection, something fizzled out within me. Besidesreally, at this age, I was kinda past the point where a girlfriend needed to be my main focus. Work kept me busy enough. Plus, it wasnt like I was gonna die without one.

Im not making excuses, all right? Its just that I started thinking

Oh, hello, sir! Sorry were late!

There he was, walking toward me, bursting with all that youthful energy of his. He and the beautiful woman next to him. His name was Tamura, one of the guys who worked under me, and she was Sawatari, the front-desk lady and pretty much the it girl around the office.

These bums asked to see me because they were getting married and wanted my advice. In other words, this meeting was the whole reason I was brooding over why I was such a failure at personal relationships. I was leaning against a telephone pole at the intersection where wed agreed to meet after work, thinking to myself.

Nah. I nodded a greeting at Sawatari and asked, Whatd you want to talk about?

Oh, good to meet you. My names Miho Sawatari. Ive seen you at work a lot, butum, I guess this is the first time Ive spoken to you, huh? It makes me kind of nervous, somehow.

Im the one who should be nervous, lady! my mind griped to itself. Its not like Im any good at speaking to women. How about a little sympathy here?

Any way you looked at it, I was the wrong person to ask. I knew nothing about love. They were doing this just to spite meI was sure of it. Pretty sure, anyway.

Oh, theres nothing to be nervous about, I replied. Satoru Mikami. Its good to meet you, Ms. Sawatarialthough youre famous enough around the office that you hardly need to even introduce yourself, huh? Tamura and I went to the same college, and we kinda hit it off during his training period, so thats how we know each other.

Famous? Oof! Not famous in a weird way, I hope?

Oh, yknow. I hear stories about you dating Kameyama or messin around with Mr. Kihara in management

Somehow, I decided that picking on her would be a good idea. I just meant it as a passing joke, but it made Sawataris face turn a bright shade of red, her eyes watering up a bit. It was cute, in a way. People were always telling me to tone that stuff downthat I needed to consider peoples feelings more or, if not that, at least make it funnierbut I couldnt help myself. So mark that down as another failure. Maybe I really do have a crap personality.

Tamura took that chance to intervene, giving Sawatari a pat on the shoulder. Dammit, Tamura! So blessed with the natural charm you need to live a decent life I wish people like you would just explode!

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Aw, stop being mean to her, he admonished with an effortless smile. And dont worry, Miho, hes just having a little fun with you.

Cool, refreshing, and completely guilelessTamura was impossible to hate. He was still just twenty-eight, quite a bit younger than I was, but we got on well nonetheless. I probably owed him at least a few congratulations

Hah, sorry, I said, figuring there was no reason to let my jealousy devour me. I cant help but needle people like that sometimes. But no point standing here on the sidewalk. Wanna get something to eat while we talk?

Aaaahhh!!

Screams. Chaos. What isWhats going on?!

Move! Ill kill you!!

I turned around to find a man sprinting toward me, a backpack in one hand and a kitchen knife in the other. I could hear shrieking. He was coming my way. With a knife. A knife? And at the other end of it

Tamuraaaa!

The moment I shoved Tamura aside, I felt a burning pain run across my back. My body balled up as it collapsed to the ground, trying to withstand the shock. I couldnt tell what had happened. I wanted to move, but I couldnt.

Get the hell outta my way! the man shouted as he ran off. I watched him go and then checked to see how my companions were. The suddenness of it all had reduced Tamura to a stupor, but he was unhurt. That was good. But, man, was my back burning. So hot. Beyond anything Id describe as pain.

Whats up with that? Its too hot Gimme a break.

Confirmed. Resist Heatsuccessfully acquired.

Did I Did I just get stabbed?

So Im gonna die from a stabbing? Holy crap

Confirmed. Resist Piercing Weaponsuccessfully acquired. Following up with Resist Melee Attack Successfully acquired.

M-Mr. Mikami, youre bleeding You wont stop bleeding!

I really didnt need to hear that right now. Was that Tamura? I thought I heard some kind of weird voice. If it was Tamura, then so be it.

Im bleeding? Well, duh. Im only human. If you stab me, Ill probably bleed all over you, yes.

Damn, this was starting to hurt, though

Confirmed. Cancel Painsuccessfully acquired.

Um Well, shit. All this pain and panic was starting to screw around with my consciousness.

T-Tamura Shut up. It Its nothing big, all right? Quit worrying

Mr. Mikami, youre The blood Tamura tried to hold me up, face drained of color and looking about ready to break into sobs. So much for that bravado from two minutes ago. I tried to see how Sawatari was doing, but my vision was too fogged up to manage it.

Now the burning feeling on my back was starting to fizzle out. Instead, an intense, frigid cold was attacking me from head to toe. That Thats probably bad People die once they bleed too much, dont they?

Confirmed. Constructing a blood-free body Successful.

Hey, whatre you talking about? I cant hear you too well

I tried to speak. And failed.

Shit. I think this might really be it Like, the pain and the heat were pretty well gone by now. It was just cold. Cold as hell. I felt as if I was gonna freeze in place.

Who knew dying could keep you so damn busy?

Confirmed. Resist Coldsuccessfully acquired. Combined with the previously acquired Resist Heat, the skill has progressed to Resist Temperature.

Just then, what remained of my increasingly oxygen-deprived brain cells chanced upon a flash of brilliance.

Oh, craaaaap, the files on my hard drive!

I summoned up my remaining wells of strength, striving to relay the final regret I had left in life.

Tamuraaa! If If anything bad happens to metake my computer, okay? Put it in the bathtub, turn it on, and just fry everything on the disk for me, man

Confirmed. Electricity-based deletion of data Cannot execute. More information required. Substituting with Resist Electricity Successfully acquired.

It took a moment for my plea to register with Tamura. He gave me a blank stare. Then he snickered.

Ha-ha! Thats just like you, isnt it?

Even if it was just a snicker, it beat having to depart this plane of existence with a grown man blubbering on top of me. Id take it.

All I wanted was to show Sawatari off to you, too, he continued.

Pfft

Hah. I knew it. That bastard.

Its fine, okay? Make her a happy woman.

I wrung out the last bit of strength my body had to offer.

Just kill my PC for me

It was just your typical kind of life. I graduated from college, landed a job at a sort-of-big general contractor outfit, and with my older brother taking care of our parents for me, I was currently enjoying all the myriad benefits of the bachelor-pad life.

And I was a virgin.

Imagine that. Floating off to meet my maker in completely unused condition My manhood was probably crying its single eye out right then. Sorry I couldnt make you a real grown-up. If theres such a thing as reincarnation, Im gonna go on the attack next timeI promise. Ill hit up everyone I see, stalking my prey before I go in for the kill Okay, not like that, but

Confirmed. Unique skill Predatorsuccessfully acquired.

I mean, here I was, lookin at forty without ever losing my virginity. Like an old sage meditating in the mountains. Another few years, and I probably couldve been the great sage of celibacy. Not the road I wanted to take in life, but there you go.

Confirmed. Extra skill Sagesuccessfully acquired. Evolving extra skill Sage into unique skill Great Sage Successful.

Hey, someone mind telling me whos talking? What do you mean, unique skill Great Sage? Someone tryin to start something with me? Theres nothing unique about that! If you think Im finding that funny, Im not! Thats just mean, man

Before I could continue down that train of thought, however, I fell asleep.

Weird how deaths nowhere near as lonely as I thought itd be.

That was the last thought I had on the mortal plane.