Chapter 10 - Goosebumps
*{8 years later}*
"Stop it. Let him go." Low reverberating gnarls of deluging fury boom from deep within my chest. My heart tenses to the sight that lays naked in front of me, no matter how many occasions this has befallen over the past eight years I can never get accustomed to it as he tells me to.
"He commenced it, shallow male. Why must he always fight us when we haven't done anything to him! Is he a masochist or what?" Words of annoyance and raging fierceness are spit down at the battered male who seems to be unconscious.
I glance down at Deimos who lays limp upon the unfriendly ground, he possesses several wounds against his flesh. Deep cuts paint the entirety of his being as he lies with no fight bleeding from every fresh open bruise. One of the juveniles kicks his belly with excessive violence that causes him to splutter more blood with a gruff grunt yet he does nothing to fight back.
Blood. All I see is red thick blood, I wish to flee. I can handle neither the smell nor the sight of it. I had developed this aversion to blood from when I turned ten unaware of the cause.
"I said stop! Touch him again I shall make sure to it that you are punished with severity."
"And what will you do Theia, beat us up with your large bosoms?" A male with hair that resembles the dark skies teases me. The male cackles whilst his tongue seeps out as a vile snake to lick the blood on his hands, his eyes never leaving mine. He taunts me whilst blazing fury ignites my flesh instantly.
"She has the most sensual ones in our pack does she not? I would love that punishment, how about you punish the both of us together and let us have a taste yes?" Another shameful male settles in with his disgusting banter taking predatory steps towards me whilst examining my body with desire from head to toe. Why cannot I seem to fight against their aggressive taunting? I am quite used to this but the feeling of it never fails to instil panic within me.
My cheeks burn with an embarrassment that bounds me. Lips quiver to their blatant harassment, it isn't my fault my body has matured this way. Why must all these juveniles bother me like this?
I am scared, I must run to my brother. But I cannot leave Deimos here to get maltreated further by these males.
"Where has your confidence gone, Theia?" The males ridicule further as I take weak faltering steps backwards. They like it, my dismay. It gives them the pleasure of a quest for they see me as this lamb, this prey they can devour with ease. The final prize. It never matters to them that I am the Alpha's daughter for the title was awarded to me at birth. I didn't fight for it, this they see as unworthiness.
"C-Cron-" I begin to summon my brother yet before I could finish beckoning him a large calloused fist pummels into the cheek of the nearest juvenile to me shattering his jaw scraping him off his front teeth. A minute shriek of surprise leaves my lips to the barbarity I witness.
"Speak of her again that way and you shall perish from my hands. I will send you to the moon. Revolting wolves." Deimos roars with a ferocity proceeding to stand in front of me whilst his palm gently shifts me by my hip urging me to take shelter behind his heat. I grasp onto the back of his shirt for dear life my hands trembling to the verbal assault I just received.
He is vulnerable limping on one leg, right eye swollen shut as he unveils his teeth at the relentless lustful males. He shall protect me despite his current physical frailty.
"You possess no power here, Deimos. This is not your pack." The title Deimos holds is often uncared for, the juveniles ceaselessly taking advantage of his instability to his parent's death. Of his delay in his reign.
"But I do." My brother's mighty voice echoes through the empty field as I take a deep breath of relief.
The juveniles' eyes widen as they stiffen to his unexpected abrupt presence. "Alpha Cronus." They greet him their bodies quaking with anxiety to face the potential consequences of their actions that he shall undoubtedly deliver.
"Please enlighten me as to why my brother is struck bloody and why my sister is unsettled?" He questions with an effortless smile that twinkles upon his face, hands held behind his back he marches to us leisurely with an excited bounce in his steps. This is how he is, he may look well-intentioned but his inner beast is untamed and merciless. My brother is truly mad where wolves fear his friendliness compared to his savagery.
"He started it, Alpha Cronus. We were simply training and he initiated the fight out of nowhere as he has done for the past eight years, we merely fought back for he has gotten quite bothersome."
"In other words, you beat him despite his inability to fight back. I can see this in the variation of appearances." His grin widens as he draws a tissue from his back pocket handing it to the drained Deimos who takes it to cleanse himself.
"They spoke ill of Theia." Deimos's voice is muffled as he wipes his busted lips with a sore grunt.
"More good news, I am thrilled." Cronus's eyes broaden with enthusiasm as he rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his forearms whilst twisting his head side to side relaxing his sore muscles for the vengeance he shall give.
"I-It is a misunderstanding, Alpha Cronus. Please pardon us, show us compassion." The males are swift to kneel upon the ground in submission to him. Cronus isn't Alpha yet but he is treated as such for he is the next in line unlike me.
I observe Deimos swaying in front of me unable to endure anymore as though he is about to collapse. I catch him by his waist and gently escort him to the ground with me.
"Cronus, let them go. Deimos is weak we must help him first, see to their punishment later." I state whilst grabbing the tissue from the tired male's hand and rubbing his slashed cheek removing the filth and dried blood. These juveniles bestowed upon him no mercy, they do not deserve to undergo any from my brother either.
Whilst Cronus converses with the trembling wolves discoursing of what interesting sentences he has planned for them later on, I kneel by Deimos whose mind seems to be elsewhere eyes glued to a spot whilst he plunges deep in his agony. Why must he torture himself this way? I slam my fist against his chest as upsetness at him surges. Stupid male, must he always put me in such a position?
"That hurts, Theia." He startles and chuckles choking along the way. "Are you crying?" His eyes widen whilst his forest greens meet mine. Voice delicate he sighs whilst he regards my silent cries.
"I-I am so sick of this. How many more years will you keep injuring yourself on purpose? How many more years must I see you like this?"
"Thei-" He begins to plead his case but I do not permit him to speak his mind for I am aware of his pretences. He lies to me saying this is his way of training but I can see through his deception.
"Eight years! It has been eight years since your parents passed. Look at you, you are skin and bones. Your wolf is frail, he lacks your strength. You must return home to your pack soon, they are unprotected without you. But how can you when you are like this?" I sob with an intensity my heart tearing every time I see him like this.
"I am sorry, Theia. Don't cry." He murmurs whilst he cradles my face with his palms and wipes my tears away carefully with his warm thumbs.
"I have been with you since the beginning, I know you Deimos. Why won't you consider me? Why do you not care how Cronus and I feel? Why do you suffer this way?"
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"Every wolf I held dear to me has deserted me to fend by myself, Theia. My father, my mother and my brother. They were all I have ever known. I do not wish to breathe anymore. I do not wish to live with my soul being shattered by memories each day, I'd rather die."
"Do not say such hurtful words to me! We are here for you, Deimos. Cronus, me, mother and father. We love you."
"Love? There are no such things as love, Theia. I do not know the meaning it possesses and I'd rather not either. Love is a weakness, one I cannot afford to feel whatsoever. I'd rather be isolated till the moon calls for me."
"Help me bring him to his room, Theia. Keep this a secret from mother and father until he heals." Before I could protest, Cronus suspends our conversation, conveying a command whilst he coils Deimos's tired arm around his neck and hoists him up by his waist.
"As always," I mutter wiping away my tears promptly to pay heed to his words and hold a little of Deimos's weight.
"As always." He nods as though assuring me this shall all pass soon and that he shall get better.
But it never does pass as we hope for. Deimos first rose to initiate fights on purpose with males his age after Alpha Ares and Luna Aphrodite perished in that car accident, his pack mourned their loss but Deimos lost half his soul that night the sky rumbled and the ground shook to his gut-wrenching misery.
We brought him home to us, his pack couldn't raise him so my parents promised to do so until the age of eighteen. Father's beta guarded Deimos's pack over the years with resilience and strength. But Deimos did not make it simple for us frequently getting into fights, drowning himself with alcohol. He grew into a rebel, the sweet mannered Deimos departed with his parents that night.
I watched him as he matured from a content pup I played with to a rebellious uncaring juvenile. The way he grew taller, hair thicker, and forest green orbs sharper. But with his physical appearance arose his temperamental weakness.
At first, he wouldn't come out of his room, skipped several meals for days. He lost tons of weight and slipped into a ruthless depression we couldn't rescue him from. But I took the initiative to lure him out of his den, little by little he opened up to me and came out of his enclosed shell.
He had changed to every wolf but to me, Deimos was just Deimos. He called his brother several times each day for a few years when he was a pup but all his calls were left unanswered as though he was indirectly steered to rise from his mourning on his own. He was unaware of where Phobos resided, all we knew was he lived quite distant from us.
We couldn't bear to tell him the truth but he understood, he was discarded. Cronus and I did everything in our power to feel him welcomed but nothing we did got through to him. He became nocturnal staying awake submerging in loneliness the entire night wasting his life with whiskey so he can pass out and awaken late evenings to cause conflicts and get bullied.
So he retreated and gave up physically but emotionally he faltered. Till today we see it, his true essence transforming to a corpse. It terrifies us.
Our pack grew aware and bitter with the turbulence he caused within our lands, they wanted him gone but no wolf could go against father's resolution to support him, for his words are law. But father never sought to help Deimos either for he said a male should learn to swim on his own.
So I took the responsibility and commenced to free Deimos when he was in a sour situation, he sought and still seeks comfort from me and I am unhesitant to offer it to him. We possess a solid bond one that I cannot share with another.
"Open the door, Theia." Cronus grunts under the pressure of Deimos's mass.
I swiftly open the door for him as he hauls the heavy male across the cold floor only to shove him upon his foul bed. My eyes take in the unfathomable nastiness of the room, whiskey bottles embracing each corner of the room, his unlaundered clothes wrinkled coated with dried blood and grime. The room smells of death.
Kneeling I begin to pick up the empty bottles, we do not possess attendants as Deimos did for we are an independent pack. We do not hold such luxury.
"You do not have to clean up behind me, Theia." Deimos sighs as he rolls on the bed to lie on his side regarding me with affectionate eyes. I do not reply to him merely continue gathering the bottles. "Do you not wish to speak to me?"
"Cronus please get me a disposal bag from the kitchen. I need to clean this pigsty as soon as possible."
"It is not that severe. Do not ignore me, Theia." Deimos sits up with an exhausted groan whilst his flesh begins to heal with a slowness.
My brother offers me a curt nod paying heed to my words heading out the room to fetch what I requested.
I pick up his stained laundry chucking them inside the basket to carry down for washing. His eyes remain upon my heat unwavering waiting for my attention yet my temper with him has me disregard him blatantly as I wordlessly tidy his room.
Whilst I move past his presence to pick up the nearest half-emptied bottle by his bed, he is swift to seize my wrist with a delicateness tugging me to his side to perch upon the bed. "Come here." He murmurs feebly.
"Let go of me, Deimos." A flash of teeth I offer him revealing my boiling anger at his actions.
"I am sorry, Theia. Do not be cross with me." He pleads sealing his eyes with tiredness whilst settling his head upon my shoulder, he rests.
"I condemn your actions, you cannot keep living this way."
"I know. I know, forgive me. I find it to be the only way to relieve myself of my suffering. I wish there was another way." Whispered words of a fragile soul are surrendered to me.
"There is no other way than to confront your pain, Deimos. Do not run from it, do not seek alternative measures anymore. I am tired of it. Look at you. Look at this place." My icy voice melts to the weariness he portrays as I lean my head upon his.
"I understand."
Tranquil silence consumes us as he takes in deep breaths unwinding calmly as he obtains succour from me. "Father has proposed to send you back to claim your sovereignty."
"I know. I must begin training once again. I am frightened to return, Theia."
"Why, Deimos?" I question peering down at him as he opens his orbs submitting to his inner war.
"It holds memories I am hesitant to welcome. I do not mind being alone, but it is the heart of that castle that haunts me."
"I know you, Deimos. You possess the ability to achieve anything you wish. Have faith in yourself."
"I shall miss Cronus and you horribly." He says glancing up at me to reveal his light saddening smile.
"We shall too. We will visit you as much as we can. Cronus will reign the same time as you, I am excited for you both." It will feel empty without him, we have become so close over the years. He is a wonderful companion to me.
"Oh, are you now?" He tickles my sides whilst I giggle aloud at his antics attempting to push him away from me. He knows just the way to make me laugh, it is either being tickled or providing me with ice cream.
Cronus enters abruptly with the trash bag I asked his eyes set firmly on Deimos. I peer between the both of them and arise to continue with the cleaning. Deimos glances at me with imploring eyes as though pleading me to assist him with the situation as I shake my head in rejection. This is his fight.
I meekly take the bag from my brother's hands and place the empty bottles inside doing my best to remain quiet as possible as to not add fuel to the enraged fire that lingers between the tension-filled males.
"Cron-" Deimos commences to call my brother but is halted by an immediate unhesitant unyielding blow to his face. He bleeds once more jaw clenched, he gazes down at the bed not uttering another word.
"If you truly yearn to be beaten up bloody, I shall do the honours. I cannot keep shielding you this way forever, Deimos. I cannot keep punishing my wolves for something you caused. Do you understand?" My brother questions his seriousness of the situation towering above other emotions.
"I am sorry for having you both always cleaning up after me." He whispers spine bent head low. His shoulders sag with the weight of his shame and truth.
"You promised us you would cease doing this. You promised us you would stop drinking and destroying yourself. Keep your promises, Deimos." Cronus utters with a firm raise in his voice. Deimos is being reprimanded. My brother's patience with him is hanging on a loose thread.
Promises. I know wolves do not hold such things with honour. Phobos showed me this with his betrayal of our friendship.
My heart clenches tortuously to the thought of him, I do my best to bury his existence but everything that befalls in my life reminds me of him. I evermore find my way back to memories of him to the point it drains me and settles an enormous weight upon my shoulders. One that I cannot carry no matter how hard I try.
"I shall stop. I will." He clears his throat peeking at the both of us from under his lashes. He does not wish to upset us further.
"Good. Now go take a shower. You reek. And come down for dinner. From today onwards you are prohibited from consuming alcohol of any kind." Deimos's eyes narrow at my brother's words with disapproval.
Cronus always brought him spirits to help him sleep through his discomfort but it does not seem to be helping him rather pushing him to sink further into agony.
"But I-"
"Do not fight me on this, Deimos. It shall not end well, I assure you." Cronus warns whilst picking up the last of Deimos's leftover booze. He possesses none now. "Come Theia we shall go prepare for dinner whilst this male freshens up. Fifteen minutes, Deimos. That is all I shall give you to get yourself to the dining hall."
I chuckle at my brother's trial to Deimos whilst following him outside, playfully waving goodbye at the dumbfounded male who growls lowly with displeasure at my brother. Cronus closes the door behind us whilst his eyes glimpse inside the black trash bag, his eyes widening at the number of bottles inside.
"I shouldn't have listened to his relentless pleading for booze." He sighs with exhilaration.
"Yes, but he was quite good at it. You couldn't escape those doe eyes that begged you." I giggle teasing him about the way he succumbed to Deimos's wants.
"And you! You spoil him too much."
"I feel for him, Cronus. Losing every wolf you have ever known is very arduous. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose mother, father or you." I smile a raw smile up at him as his hand coils around my waist to pull me to his chest to place a feathery kiss upon my forehead.
"You shall never lose us, Theia." He utters whilst guiding us towards the dining hall.
Yes, I haven't lost either of you but I follow Deimos's feelings for I miss a wolf dear to me too. I lost Phobos. But I shall never say this to any wolf, I shall never talk about the abundant emotions I possess for him as well.
As agreed, fifteen minutes later a freshly showered and shaven Deimos saunters into the dining hall, spine straight chin high he walks with confidence to his seat at our table.
"You are here, Deimos. This is a first in quite a long time." Father's eyes widen to his presence as he rises from his seat to embrace him. Father declared that he shall beckon him by his title only if he takes his throne and proves his worthiness as Alpha Ares would have wanted Deimos to.
"Uranus." Deimos addresses him with a curt nod, our wolves barking lowly to him in warning to his juvenile immatureness and disrespect of calling father by his name but as always father does not mind.
"Come sit, we have missed your presence." Mother beams up at him her eyes shining with approval of the male. Despite his rebelliousness, he is a good male and my family sees this.
"Your male would have strangled me if I did not come." He chuckles as his eyes scan the table searching for a dish he shall relish.
Father heartily laughs at his words whilst he takes his first bite so we can commence eating. "What do you think of returning home, Deimos? Your father must be waiting with the moon for the seat is void." He does beat around the bush regarding his presence as an opportunity to strike him with the question.
Deimos casually shoves another piece of meat in his mouth chewing vigorously taking his sweet time before answering him back. There is a silence that envelopes us around the table, all eyes are on him patiently waiting for his answer. Wiping his mouth with a napkin he responds.
"I have decided to return."
"Oh thank goddess." Mother whispers her eyes moist with happiness to his reply. She truly wishes the best for him. Mother and father adore him to the fullest.
"Theia gave me some good advice today and I thought I mustn't prolong this further." He states going for a refill of tender smoked deer meat and rye bread.
"That is wonderful." Mother grins at me whilst I peek down my cheeks flaring with shyness.
"Have you decided when you shall leave?" Father inquiries.
"In the next hundred years," Cronus mutters with a tease to his words placing a few extra pieces of bread on my plate. "Eat more, Theia. I want to see your plate wiped clean."
I nod to his order whilst picking up the moist bread taking tiny bites. "I shall leave soon perhaps next week."
We cease eating setting our eyes on him. Yes, we wanted for him to claim his throne but this seemed too soon and abrupt for us. "Oh, our sweet male." Mother begins to weep wiping her eyes with the napkin as father sets his hand upon her back calming her upsetness.
"We shall miss you terribly. Know that you are always welcome here." Father states softly. He admires Deimos a lot, he perceives a certain power in him that we cannot. He frequently states it is simmering beneath him and will rise when he sits on his throne where he shall fall and surrender to it. Deimos will be a God.
"Thank you, Uranus."
The dinner ended splendidly our table peaceful and saturated with laughter. We would unmistakably miss him for he is part of the family but at the end of it all, we know this is neither his home nor his true calling.
After dinner, I take a hold of my art supplies and stealthily head towards my spot in the open fields. I go there often to spend some time with myself for at night my heart dreams and I can picture him with clarity. I can imagine his eyes, his nose, his lips. I can imagine the way he walked and talked. The way he smiled and chuckled down at me.
I can visualise Phobos in all his glory.
Numerous things have shifted over the past few years. My breasts have developed and enlarged with time to a limit that astounds me and my hips have matured to one that resembles an hourglass which has compelled me to receive plenty of unwanted male's attention. The way they look at me is strange. Their lecherous eyes seem as though they are undressing me visualizing my bareness beneath. I do not understand their looks. None of the females in my pack receive these glances but for me.
Cronus has forbidden me from proceeding out at night alone without either him or Deimos by my side but I periodically slip out without him knowing. I wish to be alone when I recall him, this way I find that I remember him more deeply.
I miss him. More than I can believe but he does not desire me the same way for if he truly did he would have kept his promises to me.
I tilt my head analyzing the sketch I did of his ocean blues. My cheeks flare with shyness as I dive deep into the orbs for it is as though he is truly gazing at me. I have drawn him quite well.
I hate this. I detest feeling this way for I know there is no future for us. But I crave him, so much that I clutch the necklace he gifted me and weep for hours on several freezing empty nights. Is this a mere crush? If it is then why does it hurt so much? Why does it fill me up with vile envy and jealousy of the potential female he might have?
I wonder if he touches her the way I wish to be touched by him. I wonder if he kisses her the way I yearn to be kissed by him. I wonder if he claims her passionately as his every night till dawn, does he laugh with her as he laughed with me? Does he ruffle her hair, does he caress her cheeks, does he chuckle at the cuteness of her antics?
Unfair. All of this is unfair. He is not mine, yet I desperately want him to be. I yearn for him.
I glance down at his beckoning eyes once more. "Cruel male," I whisper out loud into the night breeze. If I could see him once more this is what I would tell him.
As though the moon heard me there is a sudden shift to the aura that surrounds my flesh and I stiffen immediately on guard, my short dress is pulled back by the relentless wind baring my thighs to the one who has their eyes on me.
I sit up scanning the area swiftly studying the field as far as my eyes can see. It is occurring again. My heart hammers with intensity as I rise abruptly with questioning, my book plummeting to the floor.
"Who is there? Come out, show yourself!" I holler out but I cannot see anything for the full moon's light does not expose everything. I am aware of the hidden beasts that prowl for a meal after the sunsets.
I recognise this feeling for there is a frequentness of its occurrences. This awareness has befallen constantly when I became of age.
The feeling of being watched.
I take in a tremulous breath my chest heaving to the emotions that flood me like wildfire, it is a peculiar feeling. It attracts me but it also alarms me.
One that sets my skin aflame with wild goosebumps.
~~~
A/N
Hello, my little wolves,
Guess who shall appear next chappy? Hope this chappy bestowed some light on Deimos's past and his relationship with Theia. I wonder if Theia simply has a crush on Phobos or perhaps...loves him?
Thank you for your love & support.
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