The Beautiful Monster

Elias kissed me on the cheek. I'm making too big a deal of that right?

Alyssa sent the text before flopping down on her back on her bed. She could trust Zoe to be honest, even if it was something she didn't want to hear.

She enjoyed having someone to talk about this stuff to. She couldn't exactly tell Elias everything that was going on in her mind since some of it involved him and her feelings for him.

uhhh no! Details!

Alyssa smiled to herself as she typed out some of the details of the kiss. She left out some of the things that they talked about because she wanted to keep some things between her and Elias. Those deep conversations meant a lot to her, and she didn't want to share them with anyone else.

Already, she had made so many incredible memories this semester. There was a lot going on in her school life and personal life, but she believed that a busy and productive life was better than never having enough to do or not having the drive to do anything. That sounded miserable to her. That sounded like her parents.

Elias had so many traits that she admired. He was the opposite of what she grew up experiencing, and she could see herself growing with him.

She didn't want to get her hopes up, but she could imagine a whole range of experiences and moments for them to create together. She just hoped that her fantasies continued to become her reality.

*************

Midterm week arrived faster than anyone expected it to. Students rushed to the café for a caffeine boost before locking themselves up in the library for multiple hours of vigorous studying.

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It was a madhouse and the most motivated Alyssa had seen people be since the start of the semester.

She was also on a roll. She studied with Zoe and Elias frequently to make sure that they were all ready for the psychology exam.

Their study time as a group was a blast, and Alyssa had never had so much fun studying before. She wasn't as productive as she usually was when she studied alone, but it was far more entertaining being with friends.

Alyssa also cracked down on her studying to block out other things happening in her life. To her surprise, her parents kept trying to call her.

She refused to pick up. She already knew that they were just going to ask for money, and she had none to give them. She wasn't going to give in and open a door that she wouldn't be able to close back up.

She silenced their calls and went on with her life. She knew that was the best thing for her to do, and she wasn't going to disrupt herself during midterm week.

She had a lot of information to pack into her mind, and she didn't want to fill her head with unnecessary worries.

The day of her psychology exam arrived, and she double checked her book bag to make sure that she had everything she needed to take her exam.

She made sure she had extra pencils and paper in case she needed them. She didn't want to worry about anything else other than the material that was on the test, which she had studied over and over again with her friends.

She met Zoe and Elias outside of the classroom fifteen minutes before class so that they could check in with each other.

They all looked a little wary because of how much material they were being tested on, but they had studied about as much as they possibly could. They also had other classes to study for on top of that.

"So, how are we feeling?" Alyssa asked them as students moved up and down the hallway past them.

"Nervous," Elias admitted as he rocked on his heels with his hands in his pockets. He didn't have that confident look on his face like he usually did.

"I've accepted my fate," Zoe said with a shrug. She looked unbothered.

They were all on varying levels of emotion for this exam. Alyssa knew that she could pass, but she was wary of falling short of an A.

It just depended on the type of questions and how close the answers were to each other. She had a habit of overthinking things.

"We're going to do fine. We studied so much," Alyssa pointed out. They spent hours in the library together, going over vocabulary and concepts.

She even made flashcards for them to go through, and they really helped. They just needed to remember what was on them.

"My head hurts," Elias muttered as he rubbed his temple. "I have another exam later today. How do they expect us to remember this much information?"

"Right? They're setting us up to fail," Zoe agreed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Alyssa laughed softly as she looked between them. They weren't as ready as she was, but this was what she was good at.

She put in the time and energy to study, and she believed her test results would reflect that like usual. Hopefully, she would be right about that.

"You guys have to relax. You have all of the answers that you need right in here," Alyssa said as she tapped her head with her forefinger. If they panicked and worried, they would forget vital information.

She used to have terrible test anxiety, but she learned to breathe through it and focus on what she studied.

"Someone is being a little optimist," Zoe quipped as she cocked an eyebrow at Alyssa.

Elias smiled.

"We should take a page out of her book," he said.

Alyssa glanced over at Elias and smiled back. Of course, he would have something nice to say. He was always so kind to her.

Ever since the kiss a week ago, he hadn't touched her that way since. They hugged a few times, but they hadn't gotten that close again. She wondered if the kiss had been a one time thing. She hoped that wasn't true.