The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 16: Corporate Team Building, ACME style.

Billy was looking forward to a day off from the game and getting some time in the real world. He knew it wouldn't be a 'day off.' ACME didn't think you needed them and any manager that wanted to stay in management didn't take them. But he'd be in his apartment and out of his pod. He could do paperwork while streaming 'The Perils of Pauline.' Have a steak dinner while going over project numbers. And sleep in his own bed while his pillow whispered all the current office gossip to his subconscious.

The last was important. It wasn't enough to do your job. You also had to know what other people at your level were doing; what the other corps were up to; the latest developments in technology. So it was a 'working day off' - but still a day off. He logged out of the game, expecting to hear the hiss of releasing gasses, the smell of a steak dinner coming out of the auto-delivery tube, and the sound of a hot shower turning on.

But Billy didn't even make it out of his pod.

As soon as he disconnected from the game he was moved to a virtual meeting room. Looking around, he knew it was going to be bad. He and the twenty-four other people competing for the Regional position were all there, and most looked surprised. Surprise meetings were always stressful.

They all had a similar look dressed as filthy serfs that would have fit right into Billy's crew in Sedgewick. The burlap was scratchy and had some very bad odors attatched to it. Billy hadn't minded that his workers had to wear this stuff and wasn't going to develop any empathy from having to wear this crap himself. He just hated it.

The building was a barn and it oozed rustic. Cows were mooing in stalls. Rusty tools leaned against the walls. Pigeons were shitting on people from the rafters. Instead of chairs they had bales of hay or overturned buckets. Billy claimed a hay bale not under a rafter full of birds and glared at anyone trying to sit next to him. He had a reputation for being nasty at company parties and didn't like small talk. Those who didn't get seats stood along the sides of the room. The floor was covered in cow pies. This was going to be one hell of a meeting. He wondered what else could go bad?

He really shouldn't have asked that question even in his own thoughts. Warning bells were going off in his head as a woman materialized nearby. "Why, Billy, you saved me a seat, how sweet of you." Layla Vandergilt looked good even in burlap and cow shit, but Billy would rather sit next to a cobra. She managed to take the seat next to him by swinging her hip into him and knocking him over. She smiled as she crossed her legs in front of her. Billy nodded to himself. Layla had always managed to get what she wanted with those legs, hips, and a smile - even from him. Where everyone else was nervous, she oozed confidence. And looked damned good even in wearing crappy serf rags. Admiral Akbar was yelling in the back of his head, but as usual, Billy wasn't listening. Layla did that to him. And somehow every time they went to dinner, or ended up at his apartment, she pulled off some amazing coup; wormed some bit of info from him. Her division would move up a bit, while his division took a nose dive. He really needed to listen to the Admiral someday.

Billy had even paid for a psychiatry program to get inside his head and tell him why he was so attracted to the woman. He didn't like it's conclusions. Billy knew he didn't like most people, despite being able to appear as if he did. Most people were idiots - Layla wasn't. She was as smart and as vicious as he was - and educated. And she hated most people like he did. A desirious combination of smarts, attitude, spite, and drive, all wrapped up in a gorgeous package. Everything he liked in a woman, except the part where she stabbed him in the back every time they started dating again.

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Layla started to say something to him when Vernon Throckmeyer strode in. Or rather, the people carrying him strode in. He was seated in a large throne with a handle at each corner. Vern was dressed as a Scottish Lord. The four stocky men at arms sat his throne down in the front of the room and stood back. Stepping up next to Vern was Seth Davidson, his right-hand lackey and head of HR. Today Seth was dressed as a headsman complete with large axe. Not too different from the real world Billy thought. The symbolism wasn't lost on anyone in the room.

Vernon Spoke: "If you're wondering why you're sitting in shit, it's a blunt metaphor for your job security. This is a replica of a barn Acme now owns and it's the biggest building any of you has been able to build, buy, or steal for us so far. And if I have to put my Headquarters in a barn, I'm hiring the cows and sending all of you to the slaughterhouse."

"Each of you was tasked with building a local HQ for ACME Corp, finding local resources, and staking claims. We need to get revenue streams going fast so we can control the commerce and buy up the land. I had high hopes for all of you...too high it seems. I was even going to reward whoever did the best with the new posisition of Northern Regional Manager. Yet what do I have so far? A few barns, herds of goats, piss ant small contracts, and a big bill for contract labor. I'm totally aware it's only been a week. We needed a lot out of all of you and your teams of Contract Workers and I don't see any results that I like. I'm tempted just to leave you where you are and demote you. So unless you all want to be stuck in those cesspits for five years eating groatmeal, I'd better see some changes or hear some great ideas. What the hell is the hold up?

Billy put on his best 'I'm thinking hard, boss' look, and sat silent. Let someone else state the obvious and take the lumps. And sure enough, someone volunteered to be old Verns punching bag today.

Sammy had a problem, and it was his spine. Too much of it. He felt he deserved to be treated with a smidgeon of respect. But when he didn't work smart enough to get any, his spine stiffened a bit and his mouth wrote a check he couldn't cash. Sammy stood up and spoke: "Well, Mr. Throckmorton, I'd say part of the problem is our workers. They have minimal skills, no ability to fight, no classes even. They're good for manual labor and that's it. Give me a group of mixed fighters and mages and I'll get the area near my village scouted and claimed in 3 days flat."

Well, this was going to be interesting. Billy knew just where Sammy got that idea. Momco had gone about things very differently from ACME. All their workers had characters similar to regular players. They formed 25 strong mercenary companies with 10 warriors, 5 mages, 5 clerics, and 5 rogue/scouts. They immediately conquered the little village they started in and hit the surrounding area hard - lots of early success. Sammy obviously liked the idea. Billy thought Sammy was an idiot.

Vernon scowled. "Missed the memo did you Sammy? We spent weeks negotiating with WALLY to make sure our contract with him, and our contracts with those workers you find useless, gave us just what we needed. But for shits and giggles, let's imagine I give you what you want? You get twenty-five adventurers. You scout the area and find some good stuff. Then what?"

"You don't have anyone to work! You've got a bunch of primadonna orc slayers, only good for slaying more orcs. They are crap at digging, hauling, mining, lumbering and trade skills. You aren't going to be able to build the infrastructure we need. Find a mine? You have no miners. No lumberjacks to clear forests and supply timber."

"To keep your bottom line up, you need to keep them busy, and conquer more little towns. But now you also need managers for those areas or they don't stay conquered. So you have to leave a few fighters in each town to keep the rabble from rebelling. Eventually, you have lazy adventurers in charge of little towns. You control them, but so what? No income, no taxes. The people run off and what you own isn't worth crap."

"The only thing those Adventurers are good for is if you find a dungeon and you can feed them to it and reap some treasure. Too bad dungeons are rare as hell. They can be real money when cleaned out and managed. Control of dungeons in the last game made fortunes for many people."

"But so far no one has found one in this game - they aren't just randomly appearing in large caves or wolf lairs. Which means after some initial scouting and raiding your group wouldn't be worth keeping on payroll. A bunch of murder-hobos isn't going to do the boring manual labor to build towns and set up trade."

"I gave you perfect workers. They have triple the stamina of a normal player, more health, and can out work, and out haul all your Warriors and Wizards. They eat anything we give them, have better attitudes from the mental buffs, and with limited skills they have limited choices. Best of all, we've rigged the system this time. No one is going out 'Adventuring' and buying his way out of a contract. These people couldn't kill a goblin if it was 10 to 1 odds."

"I remember what kept happening in earlier games when we hired people. They sold our secrets on the Global Net when we let them offline. Half the time when online they skipped sleeping and worked on their skills. Eventually they delved a dungeon, got some loot, and got out of their contracts. Then we had to hire new people. Bad for the bottom line. I want serfs that know their place and stay there. These contracts ensure that in many ways."

"But sure, remind me about Momco annexing a big chunk of the area near Wolveburg, or the takeover of the Devil's Gate thieves guild by Pentex. Tell me how other corporations have competent managers that get things done, while I'm holding meetings in a barn! I hope you like the taste of groat muffins Sammy, I really do."

Vernon was shouting now, and his face was turning red. The old boy was really in a lather. Glad I don't have his eye looking at me. Billy was already making plans. He needed to really accelerate things. Get more scouting out of the guild he'd hired. He hated paying with his own cash, but that's how he'd get ahead. Find a mine, or quarry, or tribe of rich demi humans to cheat. He'd get started as soon as this shitshow was over, screw taking off a day...wait...why the hell was Layla leaning close to him?

Layla had the impressive ability to say something in that deep, soft voice of hers, and yet get the attention of the entire room. "Billy, tell the boss what you were bragging to me about. Whatever big thing you said you'd found." No one but Billy saw the smallest of smirks on her face as she leaned back, eagerly looking at him and then at Mr. Throckmorton. OH SHIT! Billy knew exactly how this would play out. Vern would turn his attention on Billy, Billy wouldn't have anything, Layla would probably laugh it off as him just bragging about 'the big thing in his pants.' Billy would be Vern's punching bag for the rest of the month. The bitch might even be angling for more. To hell with that.

"Yes Billy, lets hear this wonderful plan. I could use some good news. Or maybe a good laugh. Or do I have to keep you and Miss Vandergilt after class for passing notes."

Billy stood up eagerly and smiled his best smile. "Ok boss, you got me, never could hide anything from you. Yeah, I've got something. I was hoping to keep it undercover. I guess I talk in my sleep a bit. Layla missed me and showed up at my place last night, in game, to 'test out the equipment.'

The room laughed. Layla stared daggers at him. Vern smiled and wagged a finger at Layla, "Naughty little girl. If you have time to chase after Billy for some hanky-panky we aren't keeping you busy enough. But do continue Billy, I'm sure we'd all like to hear what you have to say."

Billy looked Vern in the eye. "I've got a winner. A guaranteed money maker. I've been keeping the serfs busy with crap work to cover my ass in case anyone was spying on me. Hell, it's so big I'm going to do something I'd normally never even consider. I'm going to ask for help. I need Layla and her crew in Sedgewick tomorrow to start on this job and get the money pouring in! She can have 15% of my take."

"Oh Billy, you know how to get me excited, what do you have for me, my boy. Lets not keep Uncle Vern waiting." Layla however, was less than thrilled. This wasn't going as planned and she could feel the knife turning in her back. She knew Billy had nothing. She had three spies working his area and they all agreed. Did he somehow actually co-opt her spies and then make some discovery? The little bastard had it together for once and either way this worked out could be bad. If he had something, she'd have to work under him. In more ways than one. But he might have nothing, and that was worse! He was a spiteful enough bastard to decide to take her down with him. He was the most dangerous with his back to a wall. Hell, he was dangerous all the time.

Go big or go home, Billy reached for the big lie: "My scouts found a dungeon. Huge one, surrounded by ruins. We can build the Regional HQ there. Make a fortune off the players coming to the dungon. Build a trade city. Acme even gets a 'Global First' for finding a dungeon before anyone else. We'll have control of the biggest dungeon in the North."

Vern smiled. Billy smiled back. Layla smiled at Billy. The rest of the twenty-three managers looked very worried. Inwardly, Billy was polishing his resume.