Chapter 247 - Loriel Really Wants To Love Elise
Damn it. Loriel stared at Elise and at her confession of love to him. When he first saw her and realized that she loved him a lot… he remembered thinking that it was so ridiculous.
How could Elise love a man that she was betrothed with? Just because her parents said so?
He and Elise had never met before she came to Castilse to see him for their wedding preparation. However, when he saw her for the first time, Loriel could already tell that she was in love with him.
It was something that would always baffle him. How could someone do that? Loriel needed months to realize his love for Emmelyn, and that was after they spent so much time together. While Elise... she didn't even know if Loriel was good or bad.
So, the only explanation was.. Elise grew up with the knowledge that she was betrothed to Loriel and she built her own fantasy about him that made her think she loved the man when she didn't even know him.
This was something that Loriel couldn't accept. He thought Elise was beautiful and kind, but her baseless love for him actually bothered him. He thought she was a mindless young woman who let others dictate her how to live.
He thought after they got married and she could see him for who he was, her eyes would slowly open to reality. However, here she was, confessing that she loved him despite everything that happened between them and even if he did not have the same feelings towards her.
'What should I do with you, Elise?' Loriel asked himself as he stared at those beautiful emerald eyes.
Elise shyly ducked her head and started to head to the gazebo. Her heart fluttered at her confession, but she knew that the man probably thought of it as a nuisance.
"Please excuse my words, I think I am simply overcome with emotions as usual," she said.
While she tried to shy away, Loriel reached out and grabbed ahold of her hand. He stared into her eyes and sighed deeply. "I do not understand you at all, Elise."
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"Huh?" Elise blinked at him. "Because of my love for you?"
Loriel chuckled. "Yes, that and how enigmatic you are. There are so many things about you that I cannot understand and your love for me is the most confusing thing of all. I can't help but wonder why that's the case."
Elise bit down on her lip. She wondered if she should bring up the crystal ball right now and explain that she was watching him from day to day as she grew up. It was because of those experiences that she saw how he grew up and acted that made her fall in love with him.
But now it was broken so she couldn't even prove it.
What would Loriel even think when he realized that she was always watching him? Would he feel disturbed at the thought? She did not always watch him because she also attended to her own life and duties, but she was able to see the world because of Loriel's travels.
Loriel didn't know what Elise was thinking and did not even understand why she loved him… but there was one thing that he knew.
The two of them were now husband and wife.
"Elise, I find it hard to believe that you love me," Loriel said. "Maybe it was because you were raised that way by your father and grandmother. You grew up knowing that the two of us are supposed to get married and have children and you took it in positively."
Elise bit down on her lip. "And you resented it?"
"I love my mother," Loriel said. "Queen Maude was a great and loving mother that raised me, but she is far from perfect and so was your mother. I know that they had the best intentions, but the results… are not always perfect."
Loriel made sure not to accidentally reveal that Emmelyn got cursed because of Elise's mother. He did not want the girl to feel burdened about it.
He already promised his father-in-law, King Alexander, not to let Elise know that before she died, Queen Catalina put a protection spell on Loriel's heart.
The spell was intended to protect her daughter from feeling heartbroken if her future husband would fall in love with another woman.
Because of the spell, when Loriel found himself falling in love with Emmelyn, he had to witness the woman he loved suffer bad luck that made her lose her family, her kingdom, and even almost lose her life.
Loriel didn't know this until he and Emmelyn came to Myreen to find the source of her calamity. When he knew about the protection spell… he finally realized that his love was futile and it would only cause Emmelyn to suffer more.
So, finally, he gave up. He decided to let go of his feelings for Emmelyn and fulfill his duty as a filial son to his mother and keep the promise for marriage. He asked King Alexander for his blessings to marry Elise. That was all done to free Emmelyn from the curse of bad luck that befell her.
King Alexander accepted his proposal under one condition, that Loriel would never let Elise know about the protection spell.
The rest is history. And now… here they were. Loriel and Elise were now real husband and wife, with a baby on the way.
And Elise just confessed openly to Loriel that she loved him, even if he didn't love her back.
He felt sorry to see Elise embarrass herself with that confession. For someone so shy, to admit such a thing, it must have taken a lot for her. So, right at that moment, Loriel told himself that he would learn to love this wonderful woman, who would soon become the mother of his child.
Elise's head lowered at Loriel's words. It was almost a familiar line now, that he would tell her that he did not love her but he was only doing it because of their mothers's promise to each other.
Loriel could see that Elise was getting upset about him mentioning this again, so he squeezed her hand and gently raised her chin.
"I know that the circumstances around our marriage are not ideal. However, I've come to realize that just because I don't understand your love for me and why our mothers made this decision… it does not mean that I cannot learn how to accept and live with it."
Elise nodded her head slowly. "Yes… you're already doing it now, Loriel. We've already been married for more than eight months as husband and wife."
"I don't mean that I will do what I always did in the last eight months," Loriel said. "You can't say that I've accepted my marriage during those times because I always kept myself busy intentionally, to have less time with you. That was not the proper way of handling our marriage."
"I see…" Elise bit down on her lip. "But I do understand why you couldn't be with me at the beginning of our marriage. That was because you were grieving your mother's death, Loriel, and there was the rebellion with your brother in law too. I can understand why you were busy at that time."
"I could have done more," Loriel said. "I will be doing more now as your husband, Elise."
Elise did not understand why Loriel was confessing these things when she already knew inside that Loriel was always making excuses to not be with her. It was only making her a bit sad now that Loriel confirmed that he was avoiding her.
"... Thank you, Loriel," Elise said. "I am appreciating all of the things that you're doing now."
Loriel realized that he was terrible with words again and did not communicate properly with her.
"Elise, I want to be in a real relationship with you as husband and wife," Loriel said. "Some people get to know their spouse before marriage. Some do it after marriage. I guess we are part of the latter."
Those words made Elise look at him in confusion because that was a different thing. She couldn't help but ask him. "Why are you saying all these now, Loriel? Is this because we have a child now?"
"Well, yes," Loriel admitted. "But not just because of that, Elise."
"Really?" she asked doubtfully.
She knew that she wanted Loriel to fall in love with her and that having a baby that was the first step, but she always had hoped that Loriel would love her even before she became pregnant.
It was just impossible though.
Loriel took her and led her to the chair in the gazebo. He made her sit down and even prepared a breakfast meal for her as he knelt beside her. It was fair for Elise to assume that he was only pursuing her now because they were going to have a child.
"I want to love you, Elise. I will learn how to love you," Loriel said at last. "I may not be able to love you as you have loved me immediately with such pure intentions, but I want to open my heart to you Elise, and slowly foster a loving and healthy relationship with you."
He looked at Elise sincerely and his gaze made Elise's heart flutter. Her brain needed some time to process what she had just heard.
Did Loriel really mean to say that he would learn to love her? Would he really do that?
Elise's lips twitch as tears were slowly forming in her eyes again. This felt surreal.
.
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