Chapter 261 - Healing
In the last six months after Elise's miscarriage, she spent a great majority of it stuck inside of her room and continued to live each day with a sense of agony and longing for a future that she would never get to experience.
Her daughter was never going to see what it was like to live, play and make friends.
It was a frustrating thing for Elise as the survivor, she wished that she was the one who had died instead of her child. If there was any way for her to turn back time again, Elise would do everything within her power to change the outcome of her daughter's life.
However, there was nothing that she could do.
Even the great magic of healing that Elise learned from Raphael could not change her anatomy into that which was suited for childbearing. Her own attempts at alleviating the symptoms were not actually curing the root of the problem.
Elise was the problem in her mind and she blamed herself for it.
It made looking at Loriel an impossible task because whenever she looked at her husband, her mind was filled with a lot of questions.
Did their daughter have her father's eyes? In what ways was she like Elise and in what way was she like Loriel?
Countless questions spurned in Elise's mind and mocked her for answers that she'll never discover and it made her heart heavy. She couldn't see Loriel at all, every inch of his face and body reminded her of the things that they could not have.
Of the things that Elise failed to give to Loriel she considered them as her failure as a woman.
A part of Elise already accepted that fate and she could imagine that Loriel would disown her, divorce, or cast her aside as a worthless woman who couldn't even save her daughter's life.
It placed her in a state where it was impossible for her to move or even have the energy to stand at all. Elise knew that the royal garden beloved by Queen Maude needed to be tended by her, but she couldn't even muster the strength to do anything at all.
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Life seemed to have no meaning or purpose any longer.
Brick tried to console her. The cat was always seen purring at her feet and rubbing Elise with its head… but it could not heal the things that broke the young queen.
Alina, her head maidservant, and the other maids that Loriel gave to Elise found themselves in trouble because she refused to eat.
She didn't have any appetite and when she did force herself to eat, it would only take a couple of minutes or seconds before she vomited them all again. Her own body refused to listen.
But as the time passed and each day continued, with the sun rising and setting and the moon a constant companion during the nights… Elise slowly tried to put herself back together again.
It would crush her father and grandmother to know that Elise was reduced to a state like this. She wasn't the only one who experienced such pains as this one, but more importantly, Elise needed to be strong for the people who were still alive.
Her mother, Catalina died so Elise could live, and yet what would her mother think if she saw Elise act in this manner? A young woman who lost all hope and refused to live. Even if Elise was wallowing in pain, she wasn't the only one.
If there was any time for her to recover, stand a little stronger and be there for the people who needed her… then it would have been six months before this. Elise allowed Loriel and her to grow distant because it seemed inevitable.
The only outcome Elise saw for them as husband and wife.
But the best next time to recover?
It was always now.
Elise wiped her tears slowly and sat up from her bed and did her best to eat. Little by little, her condition improved, and along with it was her environment. Horatio, Alina, and the rest of the people in the palace were relieved to see her spirit rejuvenated once again.
At that time, Loriel was already gone on his five-month expedition, but Elise waited fervently for the man to return so she could apologize and have a proper conversation with her husband.
On that day that Elise left for the garden to take care of it and saw the familiar wings of the same type of butterfly that she once hurt accidentally. Instead of the sight bringing her to tears, Elise smiled and allowed the butterfly to perch on her finger.
She was already healing in her own way and was ready to look at life more positively.
"Elise," a familiar voice called out to her.
Elise turned around and saw Loriel standing a couple of feet away from her in the garden. The king was still dressed in his armor and outfit from the expedition trip, but there was a glimmer of tears in his eyes and a smile on his lips.
"Loriel," Elise managed a smile and ran towards her husband. She threw her arms around him and gave him a warm embrace. Her heart beat loudly in her chest as she rested her head on him.
The king of Summeria was surprised at Elise's greeting, but he quickly returned the hug and pulled her close to him. Loriel could smell the fragrance of her hair and the soothing warmth of Elise.
"I missed you so much," Loriel whispered. He was not lying or saying those words just out of politeness. He did miss her so badly.
"I missed you too," Elise whispered back.
It was a welcome that Loriel didn't know that he needed. He tightened his hug on his wife, but immediately he loosened it, worried that her frail body would crush under his strong arms.
When he hugged her, Loriel realized Elise had grown so thin. He was scared to break her already-frail body.
"How are you?" He looked at her beautiful face dotingly. "Have you eaten anything?"
Elise forced a smile and finally shook her head. "No… not yet."
"Do you want to eat dinner with me?" Loriel asked her again. "I am starving,"
Elise bobbed her head and she wiped the tears that started streaming down her face again. "Yes…. yes."
"Let me carry you. You look unwell," Loriel said and before Elise gave her approval, he lifted her from the ground and carried her horizontally in his strong arms.
He would not let this frail woman walk through such a vast garden if he could carry her to safety. Elise was startled but she automatically wrapped her hands around Loriel's neck. This felt so familiar.
She missed his warmth and his care. Elise rested her head on her husband's shoulder and let him carry her inside.
After that sweet moment, the couple took their time to head into the dining room and reunited once again. The maids brought them tea and the two of them started a heartfelt conversation with one another.
Elise asked Loriel about his time during the expedition and bugged him about the things and places that he'd seen, the people he met, and other things.
Loriel asked about how Elise was doing... if there was anything that happened in the palace while he was gone and how she fared during those times.
Before they knew it, it was already late.