The Evil Scientist is Too Competent

It is said that in the laboratories of reputable companies, strange sounds can always be heard. Sounds that might come off as wails, jingles, or sometimes even sharp screams.

Surprisingly, those who set off to investigate these noises all returned with sealed lips, pretending as if nothing had happened at all.

These sounds, appearing regardless of the country or era, all carry one single meaning: the voices of engineers pleading for death.

Grind—Grind—.

“Um, are you alright, Scientist…?”

“…Just kill me already.”

Ayle, who had come to check on me in the lab, asked with a hint of concern. In response, I sang a little tune to indicate that I was fine.

Seeing that there was really no way out of this, Ayle finally spoke up.

“Uh, it’s okay! You’ve committed a lot of sins, but you’ll get out soon…! I mean, I almost ended up in a juvenile center, so I know how it goes…!”

“Huh? But you’re a grad student… If a university student commits a crime, don’t they go to grad school?”

Faced with the sheer stupidity of Ayle, the middle school dropout who had become a total recluse, I felt an overwhelming surge of rage and despair wash over me. The real problem was that I had no way to rebut her nonsense.

“…Ayle, you really have a knack for rubbing people the wrong way. You could make a living off of this talent.”

“Uh, heh-heh— I don’t think it’s that great…”

“Yeah, yeah… You should live your whole life like this, Ayle…”

So, after having a little banter with Ayle for about ten minutes, the siren installed deep inside the lab started blaring, indicating that my break was over. As Ayle jumped in surprise, wondering if something serious had happened, I returned to my research.

“Uh, um—? Scientist…? Is there some kind of big deal going on?”

“This is just the alarm saying that break time is over…”

“…Wait, what? Break time—what does that even mean?”

“It’s a punishment. They want to make sure I can’t move around freely.”

“Th-That’s horrible! It’s all my fault…!”

“Then how about you join me for a study session?”

After hearing my suggestion, Ayle hesitated for a moment before nervously twiddling her fingers and turning her head away.

“Um, wel, I think punishments should be properly served!”

With that one line, Ayle dashed out of the lab. Even though she didn’t have to worry about living anymore, I wondered if it was really okay for her to act like this.

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She’s a top-level executive and a magical girl, right? With an infinite wallet that never runs dry and her own secrets that nobody knows… I thought she’d return to high school at any moment to revel in her superiority.

Surprisingly, Ayle did not do that. In fact, it seemed she had no intention of attending school at all, now that she had money and plenty of self-fulfillment.

“School would probably be better for her, though…”

If being a slacker was a problem, I could easily fix it. I could create a machine that could be mistaken for a superpower, or ask Regalia to forge some documents; there were countless ways…

But if she had no attachment to school, I at least hoped she’d consider going to university. Ending her life as a dropout seemed far too wasted.

“Ayle, you should at least have some experience in grad school…”

In that moment, I realized I was having the worst thoughts imaginable. How could I possibly be thinking about sending a friend to grad school? That’s not something a decent human would think. It’s the sort of thing only a heartless monster might consider.

I must’ve been so bored and frustrated with my research that these malicious emotions started to seep in. I slightly frowned and turned my attention back to the research equipment and documents in front of me.

“Why isn’t this working? It should work, damn it.”

The task that the Boss had set for me was to produce the anti-gravity devices and flight equipment that I had installed in Ayle’s bike, Witchcraft, using “this here technology” and to mass-produce them.

The first part wasn’t hard. Didn’t I just manage to handcraft two of them? That meant the technological infrastructure here wasn’t completely lacking.

But when it came to mass-producing them, then things got tricky. It meant I wasn’t just making a machine with my exclusive knowledge, but rather making something that the people of this world would also be able to understand and produce.

“Ah… should I just spill all my knowledge…?”

At that moment, such a desire started to rise due to my growing annoyance. But shaking my head to shake off the useless thoughts, I began to look for a way to mass-produce with the local technology instead.

It was undoubtedly a tedious, exhausting, and thankless process…

In other words, it was nothing less than a punishment.

*

A week later.

Regalia received a text message.

It was a message from the scientist saying that he had finished his research and was going on vacation.

“Hmmm… Did he already finish?”

That seemed way too fast. At this point, it was suspicious enough to make me wonder if he had thrown together something mediocre, given how little he knew about science.

Of course, Regalia had no scientific knowledge, but fortunately, those under her command weren’t completely clueless. Evilus Corporation was a massive conglomerate encompassing the entirety of City E, and its research facilities were filled with top-notch researchers who had completed their PhDs at prestigious universities.

Regalia handed over the research data she received from Eight to the researchers. Just to get them to analyze it, y’know. In return, the researchers came back to Regalia, their brow furrowed in confusion.

“Chairwoman! Where did this come from…?”

“Hmm—what’s wrong? Is this some sort of nonsense that isn’t practically feasible?”

“Nonsense? Impossible! In fact, it’s the opposite, Chairwoman! This is knowledge that can sweep every award as soon as it’s presented!”

The researchers said this could grab ABC awards. In other words, according to Eight’s standards, it could win every Nobel prize imaginable. A piece of work that could snatch up both the Nobel Prize in Physics and Chemistry.

Who the heck made this? They claimed it was a minimum of 30 years ahead of modern technology.

“…30 years, huh.”

“Yes…! At least 30 years ahead. Of course, if they use this as a basis to create actual products to sell, other companies could reverse-engineer it and create similar things in 10 or 20 years… But can you imagine what someone with that level of technology could create in the next 10 years? It’s scary just thinking about it.”

“So, in simpler terms, does that mean it could be commercialized right now?”

Being a non-scientist, Regalia didn’t care about the ABC awards or the 30 years ahead technology mumbo jumbo. As a businesswoman, there was only one thing she cared about: profit.

Could this be sold immediately? And was there potential for development to sell it at a higher price later?

From that standpoint, this technology was extremely suitable. It not only had potential for development but was also a product that could be commercialized immediately.

“—Yes. Surprisingly, this technology was designed assuming we could make it with the manufacturing facilities in our factories, Chairwoman. What on earth are you hiding? Do you really have an alien on your team?”

“Not an alien. Just an ordinary human like us.”

“I can’t believe you really have one…!”

The lab director looked at the chairwoman in shock for a moment before rushing back, eager to implement this technology into reality.

After the researchers departed, the chairwoman wore a look of surprise and satisfaction.

“Who would have thought he’d do this well?”

She’d been convinced he’d been slacking off somewhere, but it seemed he had been sincerely taking his punishment seriously. Honestly, if he wanted, he could easily ignore her command and just disappear.

Smiling at the scientist’s satisfactory behavior, Regalia returned to her work, considering what reward she would give him. Since she had already handed over the research materials, it wouldn’t be long before someone else would bring back the results.

*

[The newly announced “Flying Car” by Evilus Corporation is already fully booked with reservations…]

[Evilus Corporation, a pride of City E! They are all but guaranteed to sweep the ABC awards—]

[Public opinion is split between disbelief and confidence that Evilus Corporation wouldn’t lie…]

Day after day, the news was filled with nothing but stories about Evilus Corporation. I was starting to think there were no other topics worth reporting, but I was relieved that my secret hadn’t been discovered.

“I downgraded the performance a bit… Looks like they haven’t caught on.”

Mass-producing the same level of anti-gravity device used in Ayle’s bike was impossible, even for me. Well, maybe in a few months it could be done somehow, but… I wouldn’t have been able to stick it out that long.

So I pretended and put out a downgraded version. A model that could easily be mass-produced with local technology. I had my doubts they might catch me, but fortunately, it seemed the Boss hadn’t noticed I had rolled out a downgraded version.

“If they had caught me, I wondered how much scolding I would have had to endure…?”

Anyway, having officially finished the punishment laid out by the Boss, I hurriedly escaped the lab. I no longer wanted to smell that lab odor.

After leaving the lab and wandering around the evil organization headquarters, Ayle, who was sitting on a sofa fiddling with her phone, rushed towards me.

“Scientist! You’re out early today…?”

“I finished my homework.”

“W-What! Do you want to grab a bite to eat with me? There’s a new place that just opened up nearby—.”

Since it was rare for Ayle to propose a date, I happily agreed and followed her out of the headquarters. With Vira and Ayle in tow, we headed toward the newly opened restaurant right outside Evilus Corporation.

Perhaps due to it being a brand-new venue, or maybe it was a hidden gem not to look so good from the outside, the place was packed with people even though it was still too early for dinner.

“—Welcome!”

After a warm greeting from the shop owner as we entered, we ordered three of what seemed to be the restaurant’s signature dishes and eagerly awaited our meals.

After a while of waiting, Ayle suddenly poked me in the side, looking shocked.

“Scientist…!”

“What?”

“L-Look over there—Over there, just look…!”

Turning toward the direction Ayle was pointing, I saw the shop owner cheerfully serving customers. I tilted my head, curious about what was wrong.

With visibly flustered hands, Ayle whispered in my ear, clearly exasperated.

“That person… that’s Mospped…!”

“…What?”

At that words, I looked back at the shop owner. Nobody knew Mospped’s face because he rode around in a heavily tinted vehicle. Moreover, wasn’t he a villain who zoomed around at speeds over three hundred kilometers an hour? Even without the tint, it would be pretty difficult to recognize his face at that speed.

But that wasn’t something Ayle would miss, being a magical girl who could run at speeds rivaling Mospped’s. If she said that guy was Mospped, then he truly was.

“He said he was going to quit being a villain…”

I never imagined that a speedster who used to enjoy running amok in his sports car would open up a slow-food restaurant.

They say you never know how life’s going to twist, and I was starting to believe it.

As I absentmindedly stared at him, our ordered food arrived in no time. It looked gorgeous at first glance. If it looks good, even if the taste is mediocre, that’s half the battle already. I slowly savored the food.

“Ah…!”

And the moment I took a bite.

I felt an explosion of seasonings and spices in my mouth, and instantly canceled my earlier thoughts. He might have given up on being a villain, but he certainly hadn’t given up on his love for speed.

Behold—a flavor race coming from this dish.

The spices frolicking wildly across my tongue.

“…It’s delicious.”

This really was an exceptional restaurant.