The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 37

After Lan Xi's failed marriage proposal, she fell into a deep sense of disappointment. To make matters worse, Cao An recovered from his leg injury and returned to the company. Xie Cheng started accompanying Cao An again, depriving Lan Xi of any chance to be close to Xie Cheng. Recently, Xie Cheng even went on business trips with Cao An, making it impossible for Lan Xi to even catch a glimpse of them, let alone make further progress in winning him over.

Could it be that not only did her marriage proposal fail, but her girlfriend's job was also at risk of being laid off?

However, although Xie Cheng was away on business trips, Cheng An remained quite lively, and even more popular than when Xie Cheng was around.

"Thank you all for your hard work. Today, on behalf of Chengxin, I bring warmth and comfort from our sister company. These peaches and cherries were just freshly picked from the orchard. Help yourselves."

"These desserts are from the newly opened dessert shop downstairs. They're here for our afternoon tea!"

"Coffee or milk tea? Take your pick."

...

During the break time in the past few days, a man in an expensive suit would always show up, smiling and bringing all kinds of food. Cheng An's atmosphere became much livelier.

Although Lan Xi was troubled by Xie Cheng's emotional state, she couldn't resist the temptation of the food. While eating pudding, she asked Liang Di, "Who is this? Lei Feng?"

"It's not Lei Feng. This is Xie Yunfei, General Yunfei, the son of Xie Cheng and General Xie," Liang Di replied helplessly. "You shouldn't focus all your attention on Xie Cheng. What's so great about that scumbag? Aren't there plenty of men with two legs in this world?"

As she spoke, Liang Di pointed to Xie Yunfei, who was chatting with the receptionist not far away. "Look, he's a prime example of a great man. Xie Yunfei is also good-looking, and although he may be a bit flirtatious, at least he's openly so. Unlike certain people who appear perfect on the surface but are scumbags behind closed doors."

Liang Di clearly still held a grudge against Xie Cheng. She couldn't help but take a dig at him whenever she had the chance. "Don't cling to one tree. If you compare Xie Cheng and Xie Yunfei, isn't Xie Yunfei wealthier?"

"Besides, have you noticed? Xie Yunfei comes to 'console the employees' at Cheng An. It's obvious he's not here just for the sake of alcohol. Haven't you noticed how many times his eyes have glanced at you? He probably has some interest in you. Why else would he frequently come to our company and give us money? Chengxin and Cheng An are independent companies. Calling them 'sister companies' is just an intentional connection. Why would he come to us and give money if not for some other reason?"

...

Lan Xi was momentarily uninterested in Xie Yunfei's intentions. Her mind was now greatly shaken—Xie Cheng wasn't the wealthiest person here?

Then...

Almost instantly, Lan Xi put down the pudding in her hand and walked to a secluded place to secretly make a phone call to Wang Zhiqiang.

"Xie Cheng is not as wealthy as Xie Yunfei?!"

When Wang Zhiqiang received a call from Lan Xi, he was busy dealing with a dispute arising from the termination of an employee's contract. He was extremely stressed and, upon hearing Lan Xi's question, felt somewhat helpless. He just wanted to quickly resolve the matter for Lan Xi. "Princess, although Chengxin was established by Xie Cheng's parents, the control and power now mostly lie in Xie Jing's hands. Naturally, Xie Jing intends to leave it to Xie Yunfei in the future. So, it's true that Xie Yunfei is richer than Xie Cheng..."

"But didn't Xie Jing plan to give the company back to Xie Cheng?! Initially, he arranged for me to join Chengxin and instructed me to assist Xie Cheng well, not to let him meet the wrong people. Ah! In order to put Xie Cheng on the right path, he even made me report every detail about Xie Cheng's situation!" Lan Xi exclaimed.

"How is that possible! My princess, good things are naturally meant for one's immediate family! Saying it's for Xie Cheng is just a face-saving gesture. Who would take it seriously! Haven't you seen how Xie Jing and Xie Cheng don't get along!" Wang Zhiqiang was speechless. "When dealing with Earthlings, remember the most important thing: don't listen to what they say, but observe what they do, because Earthlings are fond of insincerity!"

No wonder! They even asked me to steal Xie Cheng's system and data! Lan Xi finally realized it, albeit belatedly.

But the most pressing matter at hand is...

"You previously said that conquering Xie Cheng would lead to conquering Earth. But if Xie Yunfei is richer than Xie Cheng, why does conquering Xie Cheng alone equate to conquering Earth? It's illogical! Old Wang, did you deceive me?! Do you know? Your behavior, on Earth, is called treason, and you'll end up in prison!" Lan Xi accused angrily.

Treason? That's so outdated!

While replying to emails, Wang Zhiqiang casually said, "Princess, I haven't deceived you. If conquering Xie Cheng leads to conquering Earth, let's make a comparison. If conquering Xie Yunfei leads to conquering the universe! Do you understand the difference?"

The power struggles and interpersonal relationships among Earthlings are extremely complex. Wang Zhiqiang felt that even if he explained it to Lan Xi now, she wouldn't understand. So he decided to be straightforward and blunt, "In any case, if Xie Cheng is the center of Earth, then Xie Yunfei is the center of the universe. Princess, have you heard of the Crown Prince? You can think of Xie Yunfei as the current Crown Prince, and as for Xie Cheng, he may be a useless Crown Prince! If you're lucky in the future, you'll become a local lord!"

By establishing a good relationship with Xie Cheng, flattering his immediate superior, Lan Xi could thrive in Chengxin and be as comfortable as a fish in water. But if she could win over Xie Yunfei and have a harmonious relationship with him, it would be like having a direct path to the center of power! She could easily transfer to the Chengxin Group headquarters and enjoy a job with fewer responsibilities and more money.

Chengxin is a startup company with a large volume of business and a streamlined workforce, without any dead-end positions. But Cheng'an is different. The departments in Cheng'an are bloated, and there are plenty of idle positions.

What Wang Zhiqiang said was not entirely wrong, but what he didn't know was that with these words, he had thrown a nuclear bomb into Lan Xi's already turbulent life.

After hanging up the phone, Lan Xi couldn't calm down for a long time.

Damn Wang Zhiqiang! Why didn't he say it earlier?!

Since it's possible to directly conquer the universe, why should one take the detour of conquering the Earth?! It would be much better to take one giant leap and reach the heavens! Spending so much time merely conquering the Earth is a waste. Naturally, directly conquering the universe would better showcase the commanding and extraordinary nature of oneself as a princess.

In an instant, Lan Xi swept away the frustration of her previous failed conquest of Xie Cheng and her spirits soared once again. She made a firm decision without hesitation—this time, she would directly focus on conquering the universe!

Although she couldn't conquer Xie Cheng, it didn't matter! Successful individuals always challenge the most difficult tasks!

Lan Xi immediately made up her mind. Without any hesitation, she set her sights on conquering the universe. Through her previous experiences with Xie Cheng, she had accumulated rich practical knowledge. This time, Lan Xi firmly believed that she had become more skilled and formidable!

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The only thing that made Lan Xi somewhat unhappy was that, even though the proposal had failed, she and Xie Cheng had still formed an initial conquest relationship. In the language of Earthlings, they were considered boyfriend and girlfriend. According to the "Earthling Moral Bottom Line" section of the Guidebook, it was unacceptable to have two love interests at the same time. If she conquered one, she couldn't conquer the other!

If she abandoned Xie Cheng and turned to conquer Xie Yunfei, would Xie Cheng react extremely due to a massive shock? After all, the Guidebook contained numerous cases, and who knows if Xie Cheng would only realize her value after losing her? He might suddenly go crazy for love, and what if he wanted to seek death or go down that path with her...

Lan Xi felt conflicted.

She realized that deep down, she didn't actually want Xie Cheng to die...

But... why did he refuse her proposal? If they had agreed to marry, then Lan Xi believed that her grand plan of conquering the universe would have been temporarily set aside. After all, according to the experiences of the Mu Yi Star people, conquering one planet was enough. As long as she conquered Xie Cheng and then gradually conquered the Earth, Lan Xi would stop and spare the universe.

Lan Xi felt a bit resentful, and her emotions became complicated.

On one hand, she naturally believed that those who achieve great things shouldn't be bothered by trivial matters. As a princess, she couldn't let herself be hindered by such small things and had to prioritize the bigger picture. But on the other hand, thinking about how Xie Cheng hadn't done anything wrong, how he had been loyal to her, and how he had already been conquered and slept with her, it would be very pitiful if she abandoned him. He might cry for three days and three nights when he found out what he had lost... especially when he realized that he had lost her, he might even lose his sanity!

Although Liang Di kept insisting that Xie Cheng was a scumbag, Lan Xi knew that once she conquered the universe and revealed her identity, Xie Cheng would become a target of public criticism, marked as the ex-boyfriend of a princess. Who would want to take on that burden?!

In the end, he would be the one who suffered!

In reality, the life and death of Earthlings had nothing to do with her. Xie Cheng was merely a passerby on her journey of conquering the Earth and the universe. There was no need to care, yet Lan Xi couldn't help but feel restless and absent-minded.

She comforted herself, after all, she was on Earth, where the local powers couldn't be overwhelmed by outside forces. It was wise not to offend any Earthling, a strategy that required intelligence.

Therefore, that night, Lan Xi once again picked up the "Guidebook for Conquering Earthlings" and delved into it for further study.

Tomorrow, Xie Cheng and Cao An would be returning from their business trip, and she had to be well-prepared before seeing Xie Cheng again.

Lan Xi stayed up all night and finally memorized the entire section on "How to Gracefully Break Up with an Earthling."

The next day, with dark circles under her eyes, Lan Xi confidently walked towards the company. She had made preparations in advance, and the "Guidebook" had already provided various scenarios on how to break up with an Earthling. All she needed to do was adapt and recite the corresponding lines, setting the mood right for a smooth and amicable breakup!

"When breaking up with an Earthling in a gentle manner, it is customary to give the other person a 'Good Person Card.' If necessary, you can fire a breakup cannon and prepare a breakup gift for the other person. Avoid using harsh words during the breakup and console the emotional state of the Earthling being broken up with. This is a good way for Earthlings to part ways peacefully..."

"At the same time, try to avoid directly mentioning the word 'breakup,' as it may be too provocative. Instead, use the art of Earthling language to propose separation in a more tactful manner..."

Following the instructions in the "Guidebook," Lan Xi stayed up all night to create seven different colored cards: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Each card had the word "Good Person" written in different fonts.

As for the cannons... Although Lan Xi was initially confused, considering that it was supposed to be a peaceful breakup, she couldn't understand why cannons were necessary. But upon careful consideration, it made sense. After all, she needed to demonstrate sufficient force and deterrence to qualify for a peaceful negotiation.

She realized that breakup cannons were based on this principle—a strategy of diplomacy before warfare. If you disagreed with my peaceful breakup, then I would resort to military suppression!

Impressive! Earthlings truly possessed profound philosophies of war, even when it came to breaking up!

As a result, Lan Xi placed orders on a delivery platform overnight, purchasing mortars, rocket launchers, and artillery, among other things, and brought all these cannons to the company, just in case.

To break up, it was best to catch the other person in a good mood, and Earthlings generally felt good after work. After careful consideration, Lan Xi decided to block Xie Cheng in the company's parking garage today and cut to the chase!

The "Good Person" cards and cannons were all in place. Additionally, Lan Xi prepared several large boxes of tissues, so that if Xie Cheng found out and started crying, there would be enough tissues to wipe away his tears and runny nose.

In this way, as a noble princess, she showed him her final tenderness and thoughtfulness.

...

**

After Cao An returned, Xie Cheng felt that his life during their business trips had finally become regular and predictable. Cao An was always reliable and composed, skilled at handling various matters, unlike Lan Xi, who was accident-prone and caused unexpected incidents.

Since clearly rejecting Lan Xi last time, she had behaved herself for a while. However, during the business trip, she didn't initiate contact with Xie Cheng even once.

This should have been a good thing, but surprisingly, Xie Cheng started feeling annoyed.

Lan Xi's sudden silence was more unsettling than her usual lively behavior, making people suspect that she might be up to something mischievous.

Even after returning to Chengxin, Lan Xi didn't rush into her own office right away.

"I heard that Lan Xi has been diligently analyzing data these past few days, which is quite normal. But if there's something special to mention, it's Xie Yunfei's frequent visits to Chengxin. He either brings desserts or milk tea, and he seems to be quite friendly with the receptionists and a few administrative girls. Other than that, I haven't heard anything," someone said.

Xie Yunfei was always flirtatious, so it wasn't surprising that he had set his sights on one of the beautiful receptionists at Chengxin. However, it sounded more dangerous when it involved Lan Xi, who usually minded her own business and avoided trouble.

Fortunately, Xie Cheng's anxiety was finally relieved when it was time to leave work.

As he approached his car in the parking lot, he found Lan Xi standing in front of it, wearing a serious expression.

"Xie Cheng, I need to talk to you," Lan Xi said.

While Xie Cheng let out a sigh of relief, he also had a sense of inevitability.

His rejection hadn't made Lan Xi give up hope. Her silence was merely a sign that she was planning her next move.

Looking at Lan Xi's beautiful face, with determination shining in her eyes, Xie Cheng felt a mixture of helplessness and a slight sense of satisfaction.

Yes, considering Lan Xi's feelings for him, he had been too naive to think that a simple rejection would make her give up. It wasn't wrong to like someone, and although her infatuation caused him some trouble, he couldn't blame her too much.

Xie Cheng pondered how to reject her more tactfully, making Lan Xi understand the significance of it and helping her transition through this heartbreak peacefully. However, before he could think of a solution, Lan Xi spoke up.

"Xie Cheng! I feel that our previous relationship! can no longer continue!" Lan Xi declared.

Xie Cheng was taken aback.

Was she... intending to reject him?

Unfortunately, Lan Xi didn't give Xie Cheng a chance to speak. She continued, "I want us to revert to a normal employee-boss relationship. Bearing the burden of protecting you is... too heavy, you know?"

Lan Xi's face showed a rare hint of embarrassment. She seemed to carefully choose her words, saying, "After much consideration, I think it's best for you to keep your own life. Would that be acceptable to you?"

Xie Cheng was greatly surprised by this, but after a moment of thought, he found it quite reasonable.

After all, aside from their professional relationship during work hours, it was clear that if he continued as her part-time bodyguard in their personal time, their dynamic would change. Moreover, with Cao An's return, it was only natural for Lan Xi to resign. It even provided a flawless reason for her to meet him privately.

However, Xie Cheng believed that there must be something else she wanted to discuss. Judging by Lan Xi's body language, she was incredibly tense, as if facing a formidable enemy.

Xie Cheng didn't want to make things difficult for her, so he simply nodded and said, "Alright, let's maintain our original working relationship."

...

Lan Xi had prepared herself for a long battle, but to her surprise, Xie Cheng readily agreed to her gentle breakup declaration without hesitation! He remained calm and indifferent.

This saved Lan Xi a lot of trouble.

Although it should have been great news, Lan Xi felt inexplicably annoyed.

She had broken up with him! Yet he showed no signs of pain, not even a hint of reluctance. How could he be so nonchalant about it?!

It was such a waste for her to prepare tissues, a kind-hearted card, and breakup artillery for this occasion! She had even spent a considerable amount of money on shopping!

But Xie Cheng didn't seem to care at all, not even a trace of emotional fluctuation.

Liǎng Dí had been right. Xie Cheng was a scumbag, a trash!

Once she conquered the universe, the first thing she would do is capture Xie Cheng and give him some proper education! He needed a serious transformation!

Lan Xi was furious, her eyes almost spewing fire. She had already come up with five hundred plans on how to deal with Xie Cheng once she ascended to power and conquered Earth and the universe.

Lan Xi glared at Xie Cheng fiercely and took a deep breath. "I had all these things prepared in advance since you once risked your life for me. Consider them as gifts, take them with you!"

The kind-hearted card and the artillery were not used, but since she had bought them, she couldn't let them go to waste. She would treat it as a charity and leave them for Xie Cheng.

Lan Xi left these words in a huff, pointing to the bag in the corner, then walked away without looking back.

There will be plenty of moments for Xie Cheng to regret in the future!

Just wait until she marries Xie Yunfei, makes money, conquers Earth and the universe. Then they will see, Xie Cheng!

You just wait for me!

**

Xie Cheng watched Lan Xi's departing figure with some surprise, and when he opened the bag she had left him, he was even more astonished.

"What is this? Does it mean she supports the LGBT community?"

Xie Cheng looked at the cards in various colors—red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple—puzzled. And the assortment of children's toy cannons by the side left him completely baffled.

But what surprised Xie Cheng even more was Cao An.

Since learning that Lan Xi was a member inserted by Xie Jing, Cao An had been wary of her. However, during the time since his injury, Lan Xi hadn't caused any trouble and had been quite dedicated to her work, which made Cao An change his opinion. But... ever since he stumbled upon Lan Xi and Xie Cheng hiding in the closet, his feelings towards her had become complicated.

No wonder she had never done anything to harm Xie Cheng despite being an undercover agent for Xie Jing. It turned out she had fallen head over heels for Xie Cheng. Cao An had learned more about the situation from his girlfriend, Liang Di. It was evident that Xie Cheng, their boss, hadn't taken this relationship seriously. He was clearly driven by lust rather than genuine affection, while Lan Xi had already fallen hard for him.

Even this gift she had prepared held significant meaning.

It was widely known that Xie Cheng's parents died in a car accident when he was young, and since then, his world had lost its color, and his childhood came to an end.

Several cards in shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple, though simple, carried profound symbolism, representing the hope that Xie Cheng's future life could be vibrant and colorful. And those toy bullets symbolized the deep significance of trying to compensate for Xie Cheng's broken childhood.

This gift may not have been expensive, but it was heartfelt.

Unfortunately, Xie Cheng completely missed the point.

Cao An immediately felt sympathy for Lan Xi's lingering feelings and couldn't help but explain the profound meaning behind these gifts. As expected, this made Xie Cheng suddenly realize the significance and touched his heart.

Sigh.

It's quite unfortunate.

To fall in love with a man like Xie Cheng, but to be unable to attain his affections, it seems that in the end, it will only lead to heartbreak.

After giving it some thought, Cao An couldn't resist and, taking advantage of the moment when Xie Cheng received a business call, made a decision. He took out his cherished booklet and hurriedly went to find Lan Xi.

**

As Lan Xi walked back, cursing Xie Cheng in his heart, he suddenly heard Cao An's voice from behind.

Based on the popular Earth TV dramas Lan Xi had watched a few days ago, many Earth men, especially domineering CEOs, have a hard time opening up about their feelings. When breaking up, they would wear a cold and indifferent expression, but internally, they would suffer greatly. However, to maintain their pride, they wouldn't easily give in and would often seek the assistance of their assistants, friends, or relatives.

Now that Cao An was chasing after him, could it be...

Clearly, Cao An was very anxious, and after catching up with Lan Xi, he was panting.

Look at how flustered he is. It must be that Xie Cheng saw that I truly left and couldn't hold it in any longer.

Lan Xi refused to believe that an Earth man, especially one who was her boyfriend, could be so calm when she broke up with him. She suppressed her previous unhappiness and gradually started to feel excited. Controlling her emotions and the pounding of her heart, she made an effort to maintain a calm expression and then looked at Cao An.

"What's the matter?"

According to the typical plot progression in Earth TV dramas, Cao An would immediately plead with her to reconcile with Xie Cheng, saying lines like, "Once you left, CEO Cheng started throwing tantrums. Only you are his talisman." It would go something like that.

Faced with such lines, initially, she should assert her principles and, after a few rounds of pushing and pulling, go along with the flow.

However, after gasping for breath for half a day, when Cao An finally regained his composure, he didn't say the lines Lan Xi was expecting. Contrary to the script of the TV drama, he took out a booklet he was holding in his hand and handed it to Lan Xi solemnly.

Lan Xi was puzzled and looked closely— "International Bodyguard Qualification Certification and Examination."

"What's this?"

Cao An smiled shyly and said, "During the time you protected CEO Cheng, you worked hard. I misjudged you before. Your part-time job as a bodyguard was excellent. Although you said you're no longer working as a bodyguard, I think you should take a look at this book and get a certification. Having multiple certificates opens up more opportunities. There's currently a high demand for female bodyguards, and you have exceptional abilities. This profession offers better income than a typical office job..."

Lan Xi was filled with immense confusion.

A bodyguard?

When did she have any connection to being a bodyguard? And she was a part-time bodyguard for Xie Cheng? Wasn't she supposed to have conquered him and become his girlfriend?!

"I... protect Xie Cheng? I'm Xie Cheng's bodyguard?"

Cao An nodded, "Of course, didn't you ask him to entrust his life to you? But now you don't have to burden yourself with it. From now on, I will take charge of Cheng's life. Trust me, I will protect him well and fulfill my duties. Also, you... don't need to be overly attached to certain things. Sometimes, we can only go with the flow..."

"...," Lan Xi felt like her brain had almost lost its ability to think. She stared at the Bodyguard Certification in her hand and finally realized where things had gone wrong.

"Entrust his life to me, and in your eyes, that's being a bodyguard?!" Lan Xi gritted her teeth and emphasized each word, "Don't you read online novels? Don't you know about 'Give My Life to You' literature? Is it the same as 'Pinching the Waist and Kissing' literature, 'Eyes Turned Red' literature, or 'Explosive' literature?"

Cao An shook his head in confusion, "What are those?"

His reaction said it all.

Lan Xi felt the world spinning around her. She was so angry that her eyes turned red, and she truly felt like she was going to explode.

So... so she never really conquered Xie Cheng from beginning to end?! She was never Xie Cheng's girlfriend?!

Lan Xi tried to suppress her emotions, "So, Xie Cheng has been treating me as a part-time bodyguard after you got injured?"

"Yes... yes," Cao An looked somewhat worried, "Why do you look so pale? Are you okay?"

So, the extra money she received each month was the salary of a part-time bodyguard?

Accompanying her to various occasions was not about being close, but... she was a bodyguard!

Faced with the shocking truth, Lan Xi almost fainted.

She, the noble Princess Mu Yi Star, made fierce moves like a tiger, but when she turned around and looked, she found herself at zero to five!

As it turned out, she had never successfully conquered Xie Cheng, not even for a minute!

He actually... dared... to treat her as a bodyguard!

Lan Xi felt like she was going to explode!