The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 60

Recently, Lan Xi solemnly declared to Xie Cheng that although she had decided to settle down and live on Earth for the long term, she was still a princess after all, and should have some responsibilities that a princess should fulfill.

She waved her notebook at Xie Cheng: "So I made a new Earth conquest plan. To conquer Earth, we must start from little things, accumulate bit by bit every day, learn from short-term goals, and eventually accomplish the long-term goal of conquering Earth!"

Facing Xie Cheng's skeptical gaze, she loudly announced: "So I decided, starting today, I will conquer a new Earth species every few days!"

Soon, Lan Xi announced the first species she wanted to conquer - the fish raised by Xie Cheng.

She bought goldfish breeding manuals, goldfish feeding guides and a series of books, and really went about studying them in a serious manner.

At first, Xie Cheng was a little worried, but seeing Lan Xi change the water, clean, and feed the fish regularly while learning, he felt reassured.

Xie Cheng was even quite happy that Lan Xi could have a new hobby, and that she loved these little Earth animals very much, which was a good thing.

After declaring the successful conquest of Xie Cheng's fish, Lan Xi immediately embarked on a new path of conquest. Sometimes it was the ladybugs in the yard, sometimes butterflies, sometimes dragonflies. Lan Xi slowly got to know the habits and appearances of these little Earth creatures. By the time Xie Cheng realized it, she had almost become a botanist and zoologist.

Things just got a little tricky after Lan Xi decided to conquer a dog.

There was another vacant detached house next to Xie Cheng’s villa, and three days ago, a young male neighbor moved in there who kept a dog.

The dog kept by this new neighbor was what Lan Xi had decided to conquer...

To conquer a new species, one must have frequent contact with it of course. Xie Cheng saw that Lan Xi began to frequently run to this new male neighbor's house.

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At first, she really just went to see the dog. During the day, the new neighbor was often not at home, so the dog was kept in the yard. Lan Xi could see the dog to her heart's content through the fence. But after this new male neighbor discovered Lan Xi's behavior, Xie Cheng found that he began to be home frequently during the day...

So, every time Lan Xi stood outside the fence of the other's yard and looked inside, this man would appear in the yard with the dog together, wearing leisure suits that were clearly carefully dressed up, and enthusiastically greet Lan Xi together with the dog.

Xie Cheng hadn't noticed this situation originally, until the name "Mo Yuan" suddenly appeared in Lan Xi's mouth at the dinner table...

"Today we are having tomato and egg stir fry! This is one of Mo Yuan’s favorite dishes, he said it's also one of his best dishes, and said he would invite me over to his house to eat it next time!"

"Watermelon is also Mo Yuan’s favorite fruit! His favorite fruit is exactly the same as mine, Xie Cheng, isn't that a coincidence? And I found out he also likes chocolate, which you don't like, but he just so happens to like everything I like too, with completely identical hobbies and tastes as me!"

Mo Yuan's name immediately set off alarm bells in Xie Cheng's mind: "Mo Yuan is?"

"Mo Yuan is your neighbor!" Lan Xi's tone was very matter-of-fact. "His dog is called 'Renminbi'. I've been walking his dog with him every day recently. I feel I'm only one step away from completely conquering 'Renminbi'!"

When talking about her conquest journey, Lan Xi couldn't help but feel proud. "At first I just tried to conquer the dog with my gaze through the fence, but later I found the effect was still lacking. Mo Yuan took me to get close contact with the dog. After knowing the dog's name, calling it makes a whole difference. His dog also understands many commands, like 'sit down', 'roll over', etc. Just give it a small piece of dried meat. "

When it comes to Mo Yuan, there is undisguised admiration in Lan Xi's eyes: "In short, thanks to Mo Yuan, I quickly took a shortcut to obtain the secrets of conquering dogs. Now I am very familiar with 'Renminbi'. Mo Yuan asked me to go hiking with 'Renminbi' on weekends. I feel that after the hike, the dog will be completely conquered..."

Lan Xi meant no harm, but Xie Cheng listened with numb scalp.

He had been busy with work these two days. The meteorological system was undergoing database maintenance, with tedious and complicated affairs, so he had less time to accompany Lan Xi. He had thought Lan Xi was busy conquering dogs, but didn't expect there was this Mo Yuan interfering.

This was really overtly seducing his woman right in front of him!

He had to think of something.

Xie Cheng steadied his mind and thought of what Wang Zhiqiang had unintentionally said during the meeting this morning.

He made a decisive decision and immediately called Wang Zhiqiang when Lan Xi went to feed the fish to consolidate her conquest of the fish.

Wang Zhiqiang's voice on the phone was flattered to the extreme: "Oh my! Boss Xie! Son-in-law! Why did you contact me?!"

Xie Cheng didn't want to make small talk and got straight to the point: "You said this morning that Dong Ying accidentally got involved with a cat recently and now she’s lovesick, just thinking about the cat. What is her condition now? I remember you guys said cats are your enemies. So after Dong Ying got involved with a cat, did she have any physical discomfort?"

Hearing this, Wang Zhiqiang couldn't wait to share all he knew: "This has spread among our people! Princess Dong Ying is the first person among our Mu Yi Star people to get involved with a cat! So we specially sent medical experts from our side to record her symptoms after getting involved with a cat."

Xie Cheng cared a lot: "Is her life in danger?"

"No, there's no danger of life, but after getting involved with a cat, it will cause our enthusiasm for work to plummet rapidly. Princess Dong Ying used to love working, but after getting involved with a cat, she suddenly lost interest in everything else and just wants to stick with her cat all day, spending time on buying cat food, cat cages and cat toys. Now when she speaks, three out of five sentences can't be separated from her cat. She even calls her own cat 'baby', and hates to not have the cat in her arms all day long."

"But we've checked her several times, and her body is fine with normal indices. In fact, her mood is much more cheerful than usual. We speculate that we may be easily addicted to cats. Her current symptoms are no different from when Earth humans get addicted, right? Indulging in cats all day, feeling happy as long as there is a cat, and feeling depressed once leaving the cat, isn't this just like withdrawal symptoms? And ever since she’s had a cat, there’s no more room for anything else in her eyes!"

"She used to like to conquer several Earth men for fun too. But now she has lost interest in everything other than taking care of her cat..."

Wang Zhiqiang babbled on and on, and Xie Cheng extracted some key points from it —— cats are harmless to the Mu Yi Star people physically, but can make them addicted and indulgent, even believing the cat's interests are above all else.

If that was the case...

Xie Cheng had a brilliant idea.

He hung up Wang Zhiqiang’s phone, and walked to Lan Xi, who was feeding the fish, as if nothing had happened.

"I heard that your cousin Dong Ying recently conquered a cat." Xie Cheng said in a very natural tone, chatting casually, "I heard before that cats are the nemesis of your Mu Yi Star people. I also remember she was very afraid of cats at one point. I just didn't expect her to bravely face her fears and conquer a cat so easily. It’s really quite admirable when you think about it..."

As expected, Lan Xi couldn't sit still after these words.

She stared wide-eyed: "Dong Ying conquered a cat?!"

"Um." Xie Cheng nodded, "I also felt it was quite remarkable when I heard about it. Indeed, conquering fish and dogs is of course good, but being able to conquer your own race's nemesis, that is the deed of a hero."

After a few words, he successfully ignited Lan Xi's fighting spirit.

She put down the fish food and rolled up her sleeves: "Xie Cheng, I think you're right. What's the point of conquering dogs and fish? As a princess, I should make haste to focus my limited energy on conquering the nemesis of the Mu Yi planet!"

"Fortunately, you reminded me and told me about Dong Ying’s developments! Otherwise wouldn’t I be laughed to death by Dong Ying!"

Lan Xi made a decisive decision on the spot: "I won't go hiking this Sunday! I feel like there really isn’t much challenge in conquering dogs. The urgent task is to conquer cats first!"

She then looked at Xie Cheng: "Xie Cheng, let that stray cat you picked up before out of its room! I want to meet it face-to-face!"

Since finding out that Lan Xi was afraid of cats, Xie Cheng had been carefully keeping a small cat in an empty activity room to raise, having already taken care of parasites, sterilization and vaccines. On ordinary days when Lan Xi was not around, he would let her out to move around freely in the house. It was rather convenient now. Since Lan Xi wanted to overcome her fear of cats, he immediately had a cat for her.

Xie Cheng's wishful thinking was quite good, and things were indeed as he thought. After Lan Xi took the initiative to decide to overcome her fear and make contact with cats, she soon became obsessed with cats like Dong Ying.

Now there was no need to worry about Lan Xi going next door to conquer the male neighbor's dog anymore. Like Dong Ying, she devoted all her heart and soul to Xie Cheng's kitten...

When Xie Cheng came home from work, he often saw Lan Xi sitting on the sofa, hugging the cat and kissing it fiercely, while murmuring terms of endearment like "my cute kitty cat"...

So those rumors saying cats were the archnemesis of the Mu Yi Star people might well be false. The Mu Yi Star people were probably just like some Earth people, unable to resist the charm of cute little cats.

Cats were adorable. Cats had saved Xie Cheng. Cats prevented certain third party males who were ready to take advantage of any opportunity from appearing. Xie Cheng was very satisfied with cats.

However, after a long time, Xie Cheng realized something was wrong.

Because he discovered that now even he had to compete with the kitten for Lan Xi's affection in order to gain her favor...

Looking at Lan Xi who was madly kissing the cat but not coming over to kiss him, Xie Cheng was filled with deep resentment.

He felt that while the kitten might not necessarily be the archnemesis of the Mu Yi Star people, it was definitely his own archnemesis.