The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 9

The air conditioner, blowing hot and cold, coupled with a downpour, had finally succeeded in giving Xie Cheng a cold.

However, it seemed that heaven was still unwilling to let him off lightly -

"President Xie, you look like a fresh water plant right now, just freshly picked, tender and dripping with dew. See, you're still dripping!"

"President Xie, your sneezes have a very spiritual quality!"

"This one is good too, very powerful!"

...

"President Xie, that's ten sneezes already. I've heard ten is your lucky number, could this be a sign you're about to have good fortune?"

"President Xie, with your wet shirt clinging to you after the rain, there's a kind of semi-transparent feel, a hazy allure, making you seem even more lewd! A very high class lewdness!"

Lan Xi chattered incessantly in Xie Cheng's ear, "No doubt this is why you insist on not using an umbrella in the rain!"

Xie Cheng was truly fed up: "I don't use an umbrella because no one holds one for me."

He said through nearly gritted teeth, "Nor do I feel lucky, because lucky people don't have to suffer as I do now."

Xie Cheng thought after saying this much, Lan Xi would at least keep quiet and have nothing to say.

But he didn't expect that after a moment, Lan Xi spoke up righteously again -

"President Xie, I believe there's no suffering in vain in this world."

"Like getting caught in the rain this time, I believe you benefited as well - there's a saying, 'Children without umbrellas just have to run faster.'"

She looked earnestly into Xie Cheng's eyes, "Next time it rains and you don't use an umbrella, you should run faster!"

"...Is this girl poisonous?"

Xie Cheng's head spun and ached. His constitution was usually robust, but this time upon returning home, he truly felt exhausted in body and spirit.

Fortunately his health was good, and he was young. After resting for a full day, Xie Cheng finally recovered.

He went back to the company to deal with work matters, and decided to clear his calendar of networking events in the coming weekend, planning to make a long overdue visit to the gym near his condo complex. He felt it was very necessary right now to build up his physique and strength.

**

Ever since Xie Cheng caught a cold, Lan Xi had been very concerned, wanting to continue her conquest.

But oddly, whether assigning her to analyze data or attend meetings, Lan Xi didn't have a chance to get close to him again.

The guidebook said, to conquer an earth male, you first need ample shared time together, and especially create coincidental encounters to occupy his personal time. More exposure develops feelings.

The weekend was almost here, where could she "coincidentally encounter" Xie Cheng?

Luckily she had Xie Cheng's sister Liang Di by her side.

"Unlike those bookworm nerds, Xie Cheng really enjoys outdoor sports, and is pretty good at them. He has a habit of going to the gym by our condo complex on weekends, and also joined the Rong City cycling club..."

When asked about Xie Cheng's hobbies and interests, Liang Di chatted tirelessly -

"He's always had a lot of girls trying to pursue him, so a lot of them go to the gym hoping for a 'chance encounter'. Some girls are especially skilled at hooking men, very crafty. Their schools are thousands of miles from that gym, yet they shamelessly claim it's 'on their way'... "

"Words like this, just lightly imply it. Especially for our schoolmates Xie Cheng also knows, when she says it's on the way, Xie Cheng isn't dumb, he naturally knows she came specially for him, but the other party doesn't expose it. This intensifies a kind of ambiguity, neither clear nor blurred, hinting her desire to pursue him, yet still vague. This extremely tantalizing approach can instantly attract a man's attention..."

Lan Xi suddenly understood, exclaiming she had learned a lot.

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She decided to arrange this "chance encounter".

As for what to do after the chance meeting, Lan Xi had it all planned out.

The guidebook and Wang Zhiqiang both said, show a man your greatest strengths. The more outstanding one's advantages, the greater the charm. Your extraordinary traits often make people take notice, making them fall for you instantly.

The gym was a great location, ideal for displaying Lan Xi's absolute advantage.

Lan Xi didn't have many skills, but her strength was incomparable to others.

It was time to demonstrate her capabilities to Xie Cheng.

**

No matter how Xie Cheng calculated, he didn't expect to see Lan Xi's face at the gym that weekend.

She smiled brightly, wearing tight gym clothes that accentuated her figure's curves.

It had to be admitted, although not too bright, she did possess a kind of stunning beauty. Her glamorous looks and alluring body, paired with her perpetual slightly muddled expression, made her seem a typical dumb beauty. This attracted the gazes and approaches of most of the men at the gym.

Xie Cheng didn't pay Lan Xi much attention. After warm-ups, he went to the machine he usually used and prepared to start exercising.

He chose the chest press.

With his exercise base, he selected 80 kg.

Sure enough, as usual, as soon as he started, the women who came for him gathered in groups of three or five, either holding up phones to record him, or directly praising Xie Cheng's fit body and strength. Some asked in coquettish voices whether Xie Cheng could give them pointers.

Toward these crude approaches, Xie Cheng only maintained a politely cold attitude.

**

After dealing with the unimportant men around her, Lan Xi noticed Xie Cheng was already on the equipment.

She patted a blushing girl beside her gazing at him worshipfully, "How much is he lifting?"

"80 kg! Super impressive!"

Only 80 kg.

Lan Xi smiled breezily, then walked to the chest press machine beside Xie Cheng's.

Then she'll try out her skills and press 100 kg!

To display her absolute advantage to Xie Cheng!

Soon, Lan Xi's actions drew people's attention as expected.

The girls originally surrounding Xie Cheng stared at Lan Xi dumbfounded. Those who had been secretly recording Xie Cheng now recorded Lan Xi, those who had been cheering Xie Cheng ran over to cheer for Lan Xi -

"Heavens, this young lady is too awesome!"

"Simply a Barbie with super strength! But the issue is, her arm muscles don't look very bulky, it seems unscientific? Wonder how she trained..."

"Much more impressive than that Xie Cheng earlier! I used to really idolize Xie Cheng, but compared to this young lady now, Xie Cheng doesn't seem that great."

"Looks like I was inexperienced idolizing Xie Cheng so much before!"

"Right, and he's so aloof. I wanted to ask him about his workout but he'd ignore me. Look at this young lady, much better than him! What's he got to be arrogant about!"

...

Lan Xi was very satisfied. From these conversations she could conclude her strength had already been widely praised by the onlookers. It seemed with such absolute power, in earth people's eyes she was also outstanding. Xie Cheng must also be convinced by her capabilities!

Thinking this, Lan Xi smiled slightly and turned to look at Xie Cheng beside her. At this moment, Xie Cheng was also watching her.

Compared to Lan Xi's ease, Xie Cheng's chest heaved noticeably.

He was glaring at Lan Xi.

He must be shocked and moved by her advantageous strength! Just look at that fiery gaze!

Seizing this momentum, Lan Xi casually started pressing 100 kg with one arm.

Cheers and whistles sounded around them.

All eyes in the gym focused on Lan Xi.

Without thinking, Lan Xi knew her prowess was indeed unrivaled in strength.

But...

But Xie Cheng, who had been chest pressing, suddenly got up with a dark expression and went to the seated chest press station in front.

It seemed conquering Xie Cheng would still be difficult. He still couldn't readily acknowledge Lan Xi's superiority.

No problem! Lan Xi had endless strength!

She left the chest press and mimicked Xie Cheng, going to the seated chest press. She then started pressing easily at three times Xie Cheng's speed.

"..."

Unfortunately for some reason, Xie Cheng's expression only grew uglier. He quickly got up from the chest press and ran to the dumbbell area.

Lan Xi naturally followed swiftly...

In the end, Xie Cheng tried almost every piece of equipment in the gym. Lan Xi had no choice but to trail him, forcefully displaying her unmatched strengths before him time after time.

In the end, it seemed that Lan Xi's abilities had finally forced Xie Cheng to take notice. He stopped, panting as he looked at Lan Xi, "Do you really have to do this?"

Of course!

Lan Xi nodded emphatically.

Xie Cheng looked furious, "Are you here just to disrupt things?"

"No!" Lan Xi felt wronged. She hadn't disrupted anything. She glanced at Xie Cheng, "Do you need me to smash something? With a barbell or something else?"

"..."

Liang Di had said that Xie Cheng really enjoyed working out, but Lan Xi felt that wasn't the case.

Because every time she started exercising near Xie Cheng, he would immediately get up and leave, moving on to another activity. And for each activity, he couldn't even last ten minutes!

No perseverance, low stamina, no understanding of persistence.

Lan Xi silently made a judgment about Xie Cheng in her heart. Taking advantage of the time, she edited these discoveries into an email and reported them to Xie Jing.

But on second thought, it should be easier to conquer such a fragile Earth male, right?

Lan Xi felt she couldn't give up yet.

The final blow was next!

**

Lan Xi blocked Xie Cheng at the locker room entrance—

"Mr. Xie." Lan Xi tossed her hair. "What a coincidence running into you here today. I just happened to be coming to the gym and I bump into you."

"..."

The new staff dormitory for Chengxin where Lan Xi lived was practically half a city away from the gym Xie Cheng frequented. There was no way she just happened to be in the neighborhood. She had come specifically for him.

Xie Cheng used to be quite famous at this gym because of his strength and well-defined muscles. He practiced every activity with skill. However, today...

Today, Lan Xi had completely shown him up in every possible way.

Xie Cheng looked at Lan Xi somberly, his expression unpleasant as he stared at her, wondering what else she was trying to stir up.

But Lan Xi was oblivious, still dutifully following her own script.

She looked at Xie Cheng affectionately as the guidebook instructed: "You understand what I mean, don't you?"

Conquering a man required combining theory and practice, being flexible and adaptive. Fortunately, Lan Xi was a quick learner and had completely absorbed the random bits of knowledge Liang Di had accidentally imparted.

She carefully chose her words to further imply, "Apart from our boss and subordinate roles, I was thinking that you and I could possibly develop a new kind of relationship. I could also be qualified for other identities..."

The guidebook said that after deploying all kinds of tactics, it was time to close the net—conquering the heart of a stubborn man sometimes required going straight to the point, but not being too explicit, still leaving the man ample face and room, so he wouldn't feel forced onto the chopping block to do something.

Lan Xi hinted, "Just that kind of intimate relationship, inseparable. That kind where you would trust me with your life." She recalled the popular internet romance novel lingo and smiled slightly.

Xie Cheng was stunned, and did indeed look surprised.

For a player like Lan Xi who didn't follow normal social logic, the best response was to counter her with the same approach. Know yourself and know your opponent, and you will win every battle.

Xie Cheng felt he was gradually grasping Lan Xi's logical vein.

As long as he imagined her motivations going in an absurd direction, he would surely be right.

Thinking of everything that had happened today, looking at Lan Xi deliberately putting on a serious face before him, Xie Cheng had an epiphany.

She actually wanted to...

Xie Cheng felt he finally understood.

He looked at Lan Xi, "So the ultimate goal behind you acting so arrogant today, doing every activity I was doing to show off, was this?"

Show off? What show off?

Lan Xi kindly corrected, "I only came to demonstrate my strengths. Didn't you feel it?"

"Mm." Xie Cheng expressionlessly replied, "I've felt it one hundred percent."

Lan Xi was overjoyed in her heart. Her continuous campaign over the past few days was clearly having an effect.

Lan Xi expectedly asked, "So..."

Xie Cheng calmly said, "You should go back first. I understand your meaning, but I'll have to ask Cao An's opinion on this matter."

Lan Xi's eyes lit up.

It was a success!

Lan Xi could already feel Xie Cheng's frantic heartbeat right now, the intense throbbing frequency signaling the excitement in his heart.

Asking Cao An made sense too. Cao An seemed like Xie Cheng's friend. It said online that for matters like this, some men would ask their friends when uncertain, which was very normal!

**

What Lan Xi didn't know was that right after she left satisfied, Xie Cheng immediately called Cao An.

He had just said "Hey" when Cao An first asked, "Mr. Xie, you just finished working out? Why are you so out of breath today? Are you not feeling well?"

"No." Xie Cheng rubbed his brow furrowing them, "I just overdid it a bit today, did every piece of equipment in the gym."

He glanced at his smartwatch, "So my heart rate is still high."

Xie Cheng decided to get right to the point. "Lan Xi came to ambush me at the gym today."

"What happened?" Cao An was a bit surprised, but he knew there were always those chasing after Xie Cheng who would try to strike up conversation or create a coincidental encounter at the gym. He subtly guessed, "Do you need me to handle it as usual?"

"No need. She's not like those other girls. You can't analyze her with normal logic." Xie Cheng pressed his lips before continuing uneasily, "She volunteered herself, wanting to develop a new intimate working relationship with me, apart from the normal boss and employee roles."

"She wants to be my personal bodyguard." Xie Cheng paused, his voice still full of incredulity. "She blocked me just now and clearly expressed this intention, flaunting her strength, then telling me to entrust my life to her."

"..."