The Job of an Imperial Concubine

Chapter 1: I Suddenly Became Wanyi Zhuang (突成庄婉仪)

“Wanyi” (婉仪) isn’t part of the main character’s name. It’s her title/rank in the imperial harem. Her actual name is Zhuang Laoyan.

Someone once said that if a person’s ancestor from eighteen generations ago performed a terrible act, they would transmigrate into a world where they must live as an imperial concubine. In that event, there’s only two paths that person could take: either teach the emperor how to love, or be killed by him or the harem members.

Zhuang Laoyan laughed at the person who had come up with such a thought. They must have had problems with their brain. She quickly understood what to do. In this world, anything could happen; there just needed to be a reason.

Come March, the bloom of the peach blossoms could be described in one word: beautiful. Yet only in the imperial harem would the beauty of its inhabitants eclipse those of flowers.

Imperial concubines that were either beautiful, pampered, or charming passed by the empress’ palace, their palace maids trailing behind them. As they did, they caught sight of someone kneeling on the ground. And they indulged in schadenfreude. 

“Master…” said Xieyu in a low voice, a servant of Jieyu¹ Zhuang. The servant’s gaze left the woman kneeling before them, and feeling a bit afraid, she watched her master’s expression.

With indifference, Jieyu Zhuang sent a glance at her clothes. “Look at her cowering in a ball from fear. Does she even know what she looks like right now?” After watching Xieyu rise to her feet, she turned back to the woman who was kneeling. She let a smile spread across her lips, one that did not quite touch her eyes. “This sister of mine is arrogant. Now she has lost all her face. It’s better that one learns something.”

As Xie Yu saw the glee in Jieyu Zhuang’s eyes, her back began to sweat. No matter how it’s put, Wanyi² Zhuang was her master’s sister. Although they were not born from the same mother, they were still blood-related. Yet the master did not hold any regard for their relationship.

In the past, the emperor had favored that Wanyi Zhuang for a few days. But she let it get to her head and forgot her identity. She lost the emperor’s favor, then lost her demeanor in front of the empress’ procession. Through the grapevine, she had also fallen ill yesterday. And now she was bound to this fate, forced to kneel in front of everyone by the empress’ courtyard.

Zhuang Laoyan’s knees ached like no tomorrow. It was at this moment that she realized that she could no longer be a bystander in the previous Zhuang Laoyan’s pursuit. The pursuit for promotion in the harem. For she had suddenly taken that person’s place as an imperial concubine the emperor disliked.

Let’s not dwell on whether she’s favored or lacked favor. If one were to put it bluntly, she was only a fifth-rank wanyi. In this imperial harem where girls outnumbered flowers, any person with a higher rank than her could stomp her to death. Once within the imperial harem, women without a powerful background or the emperor’s affection would not have a good future. Zhuang Laoyan sighed.

She carefully used her wide sleeves to rub at her knees. Then she lifted her head, reading the sign that hung above the palace doors. Jingyang Palace. This was the empress’ abode. The place where every woman in the palace dreamed of living.

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Her mind holding memories that did not belong to her, Zhuang Laoyan felt a bit of a headache. She once again lowered her head so that no one could see the frown sliding across her face. After picking up a new life, she would not allow others to step on herself.

However, what did her eighteen generations of ancestors do to put her in this situation? Out of nowhere, she became someone who had to kiss the emperor BOSS’ ass. Not only that, she became someone who was too weak to fight with others.

“I was wondering which consort was kneeling. Turns out it was Wanyi Zhuang. Just looking at your pale face breaks my heart.”

Zhuang Laoyan raised her head again. From the corner of her eyes she could see the foot end of a sky blue dress. It belonged to the person who was speaking to her. This woman’s voice was purposely high-pitched and loud, and her actions exaggeratedly illustrated that she she held no love for Zhuang Laoyan. The mystery woman and her body’s previous owner must not have had a pleasant relationship. In fact, this woman seemed extremely happy at her poor situation. That said, she did not appear very smart. There was no way she could be promoted to such a high rank of an empress. 

“This slave³ pays respect to Jieyu Ma,” said a palace maid kneeling by Zhuang Laoyan’s side, afraid that if she were even a little slow with her greeting, it would anger Jieyu Ma. Another palace maid that was neither afraid nor disrespectful of Jieyu Ma saluted to her properly, kneeling with her back straight as a ramrod. 

“Greetings to Jieyu Ma,” Zhuang Laoyan said after breezing through her thoughts. Since she was an independent woman from the modern age, she was akin to a chameleon, able to act either very weak or strong. In this situation, she felt that lowering her head was a smarter option than running away.

Judging by her memories, this Jieyu Ma had lived in the imperial palace for several years. When she had first entered, she received the emperor’s favor. In the past, the previous owner of her body had also been favored a lot. However, the emperor no longer liked said previous owner. No wonder this Jieyu Ma was relishing in her suffering.

If one were to say that Jieyu Ma’s mockery of Wanyi Zhuang was a brainless action, then the things that the previous Zhuang Laoyan did were even more stupid. As mentioned before, after receiving a bit of favor, she acted like she was the most powerful woman in the whole imperial harem. It made sense that she had fallen to this point. She wasn’t wronged at all.

Before Zhuang Laoyan transmigrated, she had watched many television dramas with harem intrigue. Most of the women from the imperial harem were beautiful and had hearts full of tricks. None of them should be taken lightly. Even this Wanyi Zhuang was originally a Guiji⁴ that had been promoted. However, she had forgotten who she was and died after falling ill. And now, Zhuang Laoyan had to take care of the trouble the previous Wanyi Zhuang left behind.

Her profession from her last life required  superb acting and coaxing skills. Now in her current borrowed life, she still had to keep this up. In this situation, if she didn’t train the emperor, then the emperor would train her. Of these two paths, which was more difficult?

Her knees ached from pain in one second and felt numb in the other. To be a woman, one must live a life full of excitement. One must die a flashy and memorable death. Even if she failed to kiss the emperor’s ass, she would not let the harem force her to a watery death, her corpse having been pushed down a well.

Looking at this from an economic standpoint, wasn’t booking a night with the emperor⁵ free? In fact, on the other hand, the emperor would even pay for her meals, clothes, residence, transportation, vacations, and entertainment. She didn’t have to worry about the price of oil when driving, or meet terrible customers at work. And she didn’t have to wake up early in the morning and drag herself to work, only to return home late into the evening. Her salary was large no matter how hard she worked, if at all.

If not, she could still think of ways to make the emperor happy! Even if her success rate was low, she still had a huge goal in this place full of tricks. People were not afraid of being poor. They were afraid of not having a goal.

Although Jieyu Ma mocked her for a good while, Zhuang Laoyan did not respond to her antics at all. Her heart that was originally full of cheer now trembled unhappily. “Wanyi Zhuang, are my words not important enough for you to respond?”

“May Jieyu Ma forgive my wrongs. It isn’t that Younger Sister dared to act in such a way. It’s just that Her Majesty the empress ordered me to kneel here. I don’t dare to slack off in saluting you, so may Jieyu Ma forgive me.” Wanyi Zhuang lowered her head even more, not looking at Jieyu Ma’s expression, not wanting to see the person who could become the ash of a cannon at any second⁶. Compared to the reporters that had crowded Zhuang Laoyan in her previous life, Jieyu Ma possessed a far weaker life-ruining power. 

Back then, when her company’s milk product branch had met some trouble, and the company was forced to face hordes of quick-tongued reporters, she was able to handle the situation. Those reporters had been especially good at digging for answers.

However, the reason for her transmigration… Could it be due to the problems with her company’s products? Because she had been the manager of the public relations department, and directly received the anger and discontentment of the customers, perhaps her face had been pitiful upon death. If she thought of it like so, maybe her transmigration had nothing to do with the wrongs of her ancestors. It must have been spurred by a wrong she herself committed.

This meant that for those on earth, the people working for companies with bad ethics would receive divine retribution!

However… Wasn’t she wronged just a little? She was just an innocent manager of the public relations department. If just a little manager received such a divine punishment, what would her boss’ reincarnation have to deal with to pay for his crimes?!

‘The heavens knew all. There would always be retribution for crimes committed.’ There was actually some truth to this proverb.

“You…” Because Wanyi Zhuang did not pay her any attention, Jieyu Ma’s expression darkened. 

“Very good. This palace⁷ used to think you were a greedy person. Yet, seeing that you seem to abide by protocol today, you are no longer required to kneel.” Who knew that the empress would appear behind them? From her body radiated a noble air.

“This imperial concubine⁸’s manner of speech and actions were not previously up to standard. It is all thanks to Your Majesty the empress’ teaching that they are now passable,” said Zhuang Laoyan. “Due to Your Majesty’s kindness, this concubine was only punished to kneel. Because of the light punishment for the large crime, this concubine feels ashamed.” She once again saluted grandly, as respectful as possible, then slowly rose to her feet. After she stood straight, she felt that her knees were even more painful than before. But she did not let the pain show on her face. Not only that, she had struggled to speak like a noble from imperial China, finding the manner of speech difficult.

For humans to live a good life, they had to adapt to their environment. School textbooks had not lied about this fact. 

Seeing that Wanyi Zhuang had a way with words, the empress lightened her expression slightly. She’s just a wanyi that lost favor with the emperor. Not to mention, the Zhuang family held some power. Because of this, the empress would not hurt the Zhuang family’s face too much. She could also use this chance to seem magnanimous.  

For stupid women like Wanyi Zhuang, the emperor would at most favor her a few times in the beginning. Then he would quickly forget about her. The empress did not have to rush to kill her. In the imperial palace, to gain or lose such a woman would make no difference.

After thinking to this point, the empress glanced coldly at Jieyu Ma, the one who had run her mouth before. The little palace maids by her side helped escort the empress back inside her residence.

Once she could no longer see the figure of the empress, Jieyu Ma lifted a hand to wipe at the sweat on her forehead. She glanced at Wanyi Zhuang on the side and realized that the other woman’s expression was neither happy nor sad. She did not seem frazzled at all. Jieyu Ma harrumphed and left with her palace maids. 

“Master,” said Zhuang Laoyan’s servant girl as she watched Jieyu Ma leave. She wasted no time in helping support Zhuang Luoyan, eyes full of sincere concern.

Zhuang Laoyan glanced at her. If memory proved correct, this palace maid was named Yunxi. She was a maid that was sent as part of Wanyi Zhuang’s dowry. The Zhuang estate prepared heavily for their daughter’s marriage into royalty. Unfortunately, they had not known that their daughter’s personality did not suit the palace. And now, things had progressed to such a point. 

“Let’s return,” said Zhuang Laoyan. After witnessing the empress’ attitude today, she did not think the empress would give her much trouble for now. What she needed to do was properly plan.

As mentioned before, after watching so many dramas about imperial harems, Zhuang Laoyan was very knowledgeable of such matters. To this emperor, women were nothing but tools. When he liked them, he would hide them in a house full of treasures. When he disliked them, he’d toss them away like trash. However, in the imperial harem, if someone was not at least a little favored, even the palace maids and eunuchs would not respect them. How could one live peacefully then?

Now that she had an extra life, why not live it the best she could? If she could be put down in history as either a favored concubine or an evil concubine, it would be enough.

What she regretted the most was working that PR job in her last life. If she hadn’t had that job, she wouldn’t be here right now, forced to fight tooth and nail with all these women in the palace. This must be retribution. 

Because Wanyi Zhuang’s father had a good position in the morning court, the location of Zhuang Laoyan’s residence, Taoyu Pavilion, was not too shabby. It even had a peach forest. Currently, it was the middle of March, and the peach blossoms were near bloom. Once in full bloom, such a sight was breathtaking.

Once Zhuang Laoyan returned to Taoyu Pavillion, she made a beeline for the couch and sat down, leaning against the backrest with no regard for how unseemly she appeared. Yunxi helped massage her knees, hands extremely skillful. Zhuang Laoyan slowly closed her eyes.

About half an incense stick later⁹, Zhuang Laoyan opened her eyes again, bit by bit. Then she scanned the room. “Yunxi, where did Luyi go?”

Yunxi carefully observed her master’s impassive expression, heart thrashing once against her chest. “This slave does not know.”

“It’s fine. Currently I am just a wanyi that has lost favor. Once she returns, tell her to go to Shangyi Bureau to be a heavy labor laundry servant. Taoyu Pavilion is too small. It does not have enough space for her.” Once these words left her lips, Zhuang Laoyan did not speak again.

After appearing to have fought with herself in her thoughts, Yunxi said, “Master, if we expel Luyi at this time, the masters of other residences will…” 

Zhuang Laoyan sputtered in laughter. “Nothing can get worse than this. I can’t afford to keep these kinds of servants by my side right now.”

Yunxi’s eyes popped and she lowered her head. She dared not speak again. Her heart hid a bit of fear. For however long she had worked in the palace, her master seemed to have changed.

In some occasions, if one could make quick decisions, one would live in the imperial harem without too much issue. Those who were too honest and good could still survive, but such was a life where one was better off dead. Those who had to deal with customers as part of the public relations department would naturally know how to manipulate a situation to their favor. Reading the expression of someone who worked in such a profession was nearly impossible. These types of people had long since grown past the stage of being a naive little maiden.

Upon lunchtime, only when noon passed did the Imperial Kitchens finally send her meal over. The dishes were not of a high quality, and were not hot to the touch. Zhuang Laoyan observed the food impassively. The servants that were serving her were also expressionless.

After all the dishes were set, Zhuang Laoyan counted only four dishes, one bowl of soup, and one plate of dim sum¹⁰. The soup had already gone cold. It was obvious that the dim sum had been sitting somewhere outside the oven for a while now. After Zhuang Laoyan washed her hands, she picked up a strip of green bamboo shoot with chopsticks. Took a bite. Although it wasn’t too fresh, the taste was passable. In her past life, she had been too busy with work and often made do with fast food. So these dishes she could still accept.

Noticing that their master wasn’t angry at the food from the Imperial Kitchens, the palace maids in the room let out a sigh of relief.

After Zhuang Laoyan finished eating, Luyi finally returned. Zhuang Laoyan held a teacup and did not look at the kneeling figure of Luyi before her. Only after half a stick of incense had been burnt through did she sigh. “I’m the type of master that never gives trouble to her servants. Today you, Luyi, have not done your duties. However, since you have served me for so long, I’ll send you to Shangyi Bureau¹¹ instead of expelling you from the palace. As for your new duties, Yunxi has already informed the people of Shang Palace Bureau¹². No matter what, you’ll still have something to do.”  

“Master!” Never had Luyi thought that Zhuang Laoyan, who had lost favor, would treat her like this. When Yunxi had relayed to her Zhuang Laoyan’s order, she had only thought that her master  had been livid from being punished and was merely venting out on her. Now that she knew Zhuang Laoyan was serious, she kept kowtowing and begging for forgiveness. “May master have mercy! May Master have mercy! This slave will not dare to do this anymore…” 

“Fu Bao, muffle her. I’m tired and don’t want to hear this.” Zhuang Laoyan rose to her feet and decided to take a nap. The infamous nap that most imperial concubines took after a meal.

Being able to take a nap after eating lunch was a blessing. The profession of an imperial concubines was a lot better than her old job. 

Could this be considered a benefit of transmigration?

In her previous life, people used women as if they were men and used men as if they were animals. An afternoon nap was a myth. Now in this life, people serviced her to eat and she could even take an afternoon nap.

For this reason, Zhuang Laoyan really loved this new life of hers in some ways. Additionally, she believed her boss’ next life would be terrible. Her old boss had been the chief culprit of the company’s issues after all.

Good results only came from proper preparation. And only after having good results would the heart be at rest. Even though she had died in her previous world, because Zhuang Laoyan’s previous parents had already passed away before her, no one would be that upset after her death. Her situation now was already compensation for her fate. That was why she was able to accept it. 

Of course, if the emperor occasionally came see her, to satisfy some of his needs, and raise her status in the process, that would be nice.

Spring was such a beautiful season. Not taking an afternoon nap would be silly.

As I mentioned before, “wanyi” (婉仪)isn’t part of the main character’s name. It’s her title/rank in the imperial harem. Her actual name is Zhuang Laoyan. I’m not too familiar with this rank, but I’m guessing it’s from the Song dynasty, since another rank that appears in this novel jieyu (婕妤) also exists in that dynasty. According to Wikipedia, wanyi is part of the Imperial Concubine rank. If anyone knows the English word for wanyi, please let me know in the comments. As of now I’ll be using the Chinese term.

As mentioned before, this is a side project so the releases won’t be as much as the main projects. It’s probably going to be 3-4 chapters a month. If someone wants to pick this novel up, you’re welcome to.

Edit: I AM SO EFFIN SORRY! I’ve been spelling Zhuang Laoyan’s name wrong for fifty odd chapters holy crap. It’s Laoyan not Luoyan. Fk… Okay learn from my mistake guys. Don’t ever abbreviate your characters’ names and then copy and paste names from another document. Because if you ever mispelled one name, it’ll be wrong from now on. AHHHH (is having a breakdown) ….I’ll be spending a lot of time fixing the names of past chapters. Please let me hide in a hole now…

Edit AGAIN: So I messed up and wrote that Luyi was being sent to the “embroidery workshop.” That’s wrong. She’s being sent to Shangyi Bureau. I’ve already fixed it in the chapter and added an end note explaining what this is.