The Lazy King

Chapter 1: Acedia, Part 4: Sloth and Depravity

Even if I didn’t really wish for my status, as long as I’m a Lord, I have my own men… my own retainers.

I’m the natural enemy of humanity, and in some country or another, some something something god’s followers see me as their complete nemesis. I should add that a few other demons and Demon Lords are after me for selfish reasons as well.

To summarize, I have lots of enemies. Even though I haven’t done anything, I have lots of enemies. It’s all the ripple effect from that Top Kanon guy declaring world domination or heavenly domination or hell domination or some needlessly grandiose goal. If I didn’t have any men, then as I don’t like fighting, I would probably be dead.

Every quarter of a year, someone with a Hero or Savior Class tries an assault, and once or twice a year, heavenly soldiers come to assassinate me. Once or twice a month, I’m dragged into some war going on in Hell. It’s a pain. I myself don’t fight, so I’m seen as one of the more moderate Demon Lords. I guess the world is at its end.

The Great Demon King’s follower who seems to be named Lize has her arms crossed as she stares at me with an unpleasant expression.

“Demon Lord, Leigie of the Slaughter Dolls. For your achievements at the Prison of Flames in the war against the Demon Lord Granzer Esther, under the name of the Great Demon King Kanon, you have been promoted to the Third Rank among Demon Lords, and have been awarded the mighty Demon Blade Celeste.”

“I see.”

It’s not something that concerns me.

As she reluctantly hands over the sword, I toss it aside without looking at it.

I don’t need a sword. But it’s not like I want a Shield or anything, and of course, I don’t want any medals. I really don’t want status either. All I want is quiet time to rest.

“AAAAAAAH, what are you doing to the sword Kanon-sama personally sent you!?”

In hot haste, Lize picks up the sword, and hugs it to her body as if it were a precious artifact as she glares at me.

I don’t even know the difference between a Demon Blade and a normal one, and I never even get off the bed, so I have no opportunities to use it. Even a kitchen knife would have been more useful.

Well, I wouldn’t be using that either, but…

“… I can’t accept this. Why the hell are you getting a promotion! You didn’t even do anything!”

“No idea.”

That’s something you should be asking your master. I’ll bet that would be a much better usage of your time.

Just meeting her gaze had become tiresome, so I fell face-up onto the bed.

Lize had splendidly destroyed the other one, so it’s brand new. At first, I longed for my old one, but now it doesn’t really bother me. All that’s necessary for me is simple sleep.

I don’t even know the reason for my promotion, and I didn’t know my previous ranking in the first place. I have no idea whether Rank Three is even high or not.

All of it doesn’t really matter.

But perhaps because she was unsatisfied with my attitude, Lize began stomping her foot. I don’t know just how long has passed since she first came here, but my impression of her as a beauty has been shattered with not a trace of it left behind. I guess it’s true that you can get tired of beauty. The only thing left is her annoying portion, and I’m also getting used to that one.

“Don’t think I don’t know! The one leading your army was Deije the Usurper! He led it as he conducted the assault on Granzer’s armies!”

“I see.”

Who the hell is Deije the usurper?

Well, it doesn’t really matter. I’m not that interested.

Lize let out a sigh as she looked at my face. Just as I was getting used to her, I guess she was also getting accustomed to me. It’s that power of human adaptation.

“It was a splendid strategy. I guess the rumors that the army of Leigie the Depraved was the strongest were true. They trampled Granzer’s forces as if they were children… I can see why Kanon-sama is permitting your current behavior.”

“I see.”

“… Are you even listening to me?”

“I see.”

I turn my body over once more, and grabbed the body pillow that was just about my height. I love to sleep, but I also love to roll around after waking up.

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Lize’s eyebrows rise as she pulls the pillow away. There was no helping it, so I hugged the cover instead.

“… Anyways, I was only sent to watch over you by the Great Demon King, but let me give you a word of advice. As a Demon Lord, you should present something unto Deije for his distinguished services.”

“… That’s right… Who was Deije again?”

“Haaaaaah!? Could it be that you don’t even remember the members of your own Legion?”

That’s the sort of thing Sloth is.

And I don’t hold any interest towards the demon known as Deije.

It’s a bit troublesome, but… I pointed to the sword Lize was holding so preciously.

“… I’ll give him that sword.”

“Hah? Are you serious? No matter how distinguished he is, you’re going to give the Demon Blade granted to you by the Great Demon King to an ordinary Demon?

“I don’t need it. If it was some bedding, then perhaps I would consider it.”

A new mattress, or mabe a pillow, or maybe even a replacement for the armchair that was brutally destroyed. Kanon actually has a bit of a generous side to him, so I’ll bet he’ll prepare something nice.

“Divine goods… treasures of the gods… even if you may be a Demon Lord, do you think a Demon like you could use them?”

(TL: Bedding (寝具) sounds the same as Divine Armaments (神具))

It was the first time I ever saw Lize gaze at me with eyes as if she was looking at a monster.

It was, without a doubt, a misunderstanding, but correcting her would be a pain.

“… That’s right.”

“I see… so you’re not just some ordinary loafer…”

Loafer… This woman says some interesting things.

Well, she can say whatever she wants. I have no interest in her words.

I turn myself over once more. The cover is warm, and heavy. It gives a sense of security.

Having accomplished everything I set out to do, I yawned deeply as I closed my eyes.

“Ah, wait a sec’ boss Leigie.”

What a loud person. It’s always like this. Whenever I try to sleep, everyone gets in my way.

I’m going to sleep either way.

“Oy, Demon Lord. That’s Deije.”

As I was saying, who the hell is that?

I roll my shoulders, and forcefully lift my heavy eyelids.

In front of me was a single man.

He was a large and muscular man. His beardless face was like a smooth blank mask, and on top of it grew a large pair of curling horns.

But his most prominent feature was his arms, three on each side for a total of six.

And on his head, a similar total of six glimmering eyes. In his disgustingly warped mouth, grew long fangs.

“Who the hell are you?”

“… You’re the same as always, Boss Leigie… I’m Deije Breindac. I’m in charge of your Legion’s third brigade.”

“I see…”

The male demon who proclaimed himself to be Deiji had an aloof tone unbefitting of his appearance.

So this is the Deije Lize was talking about a while back… I see…

Yep. I don’t care.

“And do I know you?”

“Of course, boss. You’re the one who appointed me to take charge of the third brigade in the first place.”

“… I see.”

I’m a bit curious as to how many brigades I have, but anyways, it seems he’s quite an important person.

My instincts are telling me that the Demon called Deije possessed quite a bit of power.

“The one who ignored that girl Medea’s opposition, and appointed me leader of the third brigade was you, boss. But I guess you’ll never change.”

Who’s that girl Medea supposed to be? I looked in Lize’s direction, but as she didn’t seem to be confused about it, I guess that Medea girl’s a well-known one in my army.

Well, not that it matters.

Names, and existences, and powers and everything else. They all don’t matter to me. Just do whatever you want.

I rubbed my head into the pillow as I spoke to Deije.

“Iyo”

“Yes, it is an honor that I have answered to the Boss’s expectations.”

Deije lowers himself. On his actions, Lize tilts her head.

“… What exactly is that 『Iyo』 supposed to mean?”

『I』 will leave it to『yo』u.

『I』 am satisfied with『yo』ur work.

(TL: In the original, it’s Yoha, but it’s a combination of phrases that pretty much mean the same thing)

It’s a phrase that says both at the same time. Specifically thanking or ordering people got to be a pain, so it’s something I thought up. If you just say it whenever you want, they’ll interpret it however they want, so it’s quite convenient.

But answering her would be a pain, so I’ll just ignore her.

“And what are you here for again?”

“Yes, this may be presumptuous, but I was wondering whether or not the boss was deciding on a reward to bestow onto me. How about it?”’

There’s nothing to how about it.

I don’t care about that. All that’s important for me is to strive for a sleep more comfortable than this one.

I looked down on Deije with cold eyes. Of course, it was a pain, so I didn’t voice my opinion.

“I’ll award you that sword.”

On my words, Deije took a glance at the sword Lize was carrying. His eyes glowed red like a carnivorous beast who had just caught sight of its prey.

He licked his lips before turning his eyes back to me.

“It is an honor too great for me, boss. But there was another item I was hoping for… no, I’m not saying I don’t want the sword or anything. As you can see, I have six arms here, so…”

“Deije, you bastard! When you’re just a run of the mill Demon, you plan on saying that the sword the Great Demon King sent is not enough for you!?”

I hold up my hand to stop Lize, who had flown into a rage. The body pillow she’s holding is making creaking sounds, and it feels like it’s about to burst. I’d appreciate it if she were to stop.

It’s loud. It’s a pain. Can’t she close her mouth for a second? I just want to sleep here.

It looks like his attribute is Greed. It’s natural for him to want more.

Deije of Greed and me of Sloth will never have a conflict of interest.

I recovered my pillow from Lize, and spread it out below my head. I turn my eyes to the twisting patterns on the ceilings as I answered.

“Ask what you will.”

“Yes, so would it be possible for me to have another of the boss’s special 『Dolls』?”

That was a bit away from my expectations.

If it was something I had on hand, it would be fine, but making a new doll would take a bit of effort.

“… That sounds like a pain.”

“I beg of you, it can be the most basic type, so…”

This rotten greed. It seems that he won’t go away unless I do something to answer his desires, or unless I kill him.

I wonder whether killing him or making a new doll would take more effort.

It was a while back, but it seems to be true that he has done some distinguished service.

If both options will take the same amount of effort, then I guess I’ll give him a doll.

I look over the room, and picked up a candle holder from the closest side table.

The holder had a design resembling a skeleton. This is a pain, so let’s go with this.

I tossed it over to Deije as is.

Deije accepted it with a full smile.

He traced its form with all six of his hands.

“Boss, this one doesn’t have a soul.”

It’s ‘cuz I didn’t give it one.

“Would it be better if it did?”

“… Surely you jest. A doll without a soul is but an item. What I’m requesting for is one of your Slaughter Dolls.”

“I see.”

I guess I really will have to put in some effort, or he won’t leave.

There’s no helping it. Let’s just get this over with.

I yawned as I pointed my finger at the soul-less skeleton.

I used a skill.

And with that, a presence began to eminate from the doll.

Among my powers as a Demon Lord was a skill to grant life to dolls.

It’s a skill I specialize in. That’s where I get the Slaughter Dolls part of my title.

“Is that good enough?”

“Yes, I will happily accept it. Could you also grant a name onto it?”

Giving a name is an important ceremony for a Devil. The name is carved onto the body, and it’s not an exaggeration that the name gives way to new powers.

But why is it that I have to do something like that?

“… If you get some more achievements, I’ll consider it.”

“… Ki ki ki, understood. I’ll do my best to not croak out there.”

He laughs in a creaky voice, before retreating. I guess it’s a manner befitting for a Demon governing over Greed, but I don’t really care.

With a grim expression, he took the sword from the hands of Lize, who had simply watched over the exchange like a scarecrow.

“Well then, boss. I’ll request another audience once I get some merits.”

After a single, deep bow, he left the room.

No, you don’t have to come again. I’ll give you whatever you want.

You don’t even have to ask me. I’ll leave it to you.

And so, just leave me alone.

Depravity and Sloth. Those are the only reasons for my existence, and that’s all I desire for.