The Legend of William Oh

That boy fought like a coked-up Badger made love to an ornery mule and a Klar snake in an unholy threesome to produce the most vicious offspring you could possibly imagine. Yep, it was just William Oh. All by himself.

• Thug McBandit – level 25 Climber in a 4th floor Stilt-bar. Name redacted.

“Let me give my Party member this health potion and I’ll tell you,” Will said, gesturing to the health potion.

The two Climbers glanced at Loth’s smoldering body. It was distressingly still.

“Odd company you keep.” The bandit said, plucking the health potion out of Will’s hand. “Tell us where the girl is and we’ll heal your friend.”

Should I tell them the truth, lie, or buy time? Will thought at a blistering pace as the ugly mug stared down at him.

If he told the truth, they would get Brianna, then they might honor their promise and heal Loth. (unlikely)

If he lied, they wouldn’t get Bri, and they might honor their promise and heal Loth. (also unlikely)

If he bought time, Loth was going to die, if he hadn’t already.

The flames across Loth’s body had ceased, so maybe the Wyrd had stopped burning, and Loth had the chance to stabilize.

On top of this, there was a real good chance of them killing Will once he told them what they wanted to hear.

About 99%.

“Alright,” Will said, keeping his hand up and open, deciding to mix the best of ‘lying’ and ‘delaying’. “She got caught by a Wyrd army that came through and attacked the stronghold to our northwest.”

The bandit’s eyebrows rose, while the other one spat.

“Son of a bitch!” the second bandit shouted, kicking the dirt.

“Hey, if you want her that much, you might still have a chance,” Will said quickly before they decided to kill him. “That Wyrd army got wrecked by some weird arm-thingies that sprang up in the middle of the city. They lit the place on fire to burn them out as they retreated. They took staggering losses, though.”

The two bandits shared meaningful glances. “Were you there when it happened?” The first asked.

“No, I was watching from the mountaintop.” Will said. “What I’m trying to say is, If she’s still alive, they’ve only got a handful of people left to watch her.”

“Nah, she’s gone,” The first, skinnier bandit said, scowling.

“Then can you heal my Party member?” Will asked.

“Waste a Health Potion on a kobold?” The second one asked, pocketing the red ampule. “After you screwed us out of a payday?”

“Kid’s wearing some nice gear,” the first said, scanning Will head to toe. “Not only that, he’s kitted.”

“Would take a bit of the sting out of-“

“You can have it if you heal my friend,” Will said, tensing.

They laughed uproariously as Will scanned the horizon, hoping that Carrie and Bri, and Loth’s minions would arrive soon.

No such luck. Will had been Moving.

“Sorry kid, but-“

At that point, Will knew there was nothing to be gained from further discussion. They intended to let Loth die and rob him at the very least.

Unacceptable.

Homefield Advantage

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Gravity Charge

5/25 Charges remaining.

The instant the Charge left Will’s body, Bandit#1 struck, unsheathing his sword in a blast of light that dug a massive furrow into the sheet of ice beneath them.

Will rose into the air, avoiding the attack by falling up towards his Phantom Hand, which he then swung to the right.

Will’s stomach did summersaults as down rapidly shifted.

Bandit #1 slipped after making the attack, but Bandit #2 was standing on a piece of rope that seemed to stabilize his footing.

POW!

Will was caught by a knot of rope against his shoulder, which sent him spinning off to the side. Will scrambled to adjust Phantom Hand’s orientation relative to himself to catch his breath as another blast of white light brushed past him, missing only because of his uncanny trajectory.

Finally he just decided on the ground, sending the Phantom Hand deep into the earth.

Boom!

With ‘normal’ gravity recreated, Will hit the ice feet first, sending shocks through his entire body, which reminded him of the bruising it was working on…But especially the sprained hip where Bandit #2 had lassoed him.

“GAH!”

Will clutched his hip and spotted Bandit #2 tensing for another attack.

Without shifting his stance, Will moved Phantom Hand below ground, causing him to flow across the ice like water on a tilted table, sliding to the left.

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A knot of rope missed his ear by a couple inches.

“How are you moving like that!?”

I guess Aspect of the Goat lets me slide when I want to slide, Will thought, drawing his Tomahawk.

“I’m Willliam Oh,” Will growled, Sliding forward with Gravity Charge.

“Wait, the William- OH!”

Will slid Phantom hand beneath and behind the rope bearer, moving the ephemeral hand through the solid ice, Gravity Charge accelerating him forward across the ice to chase it. Directly towards his enemy. He couldn’t walk, or run. He could barely stand, but Gravity Charge didn’t give a shit.

He could slide.

Rope Guy Whipped out the rope and Will shifted the phantom hand to the side causing him to wobble out of the way of the attack.

Then he whipped Phantom hand around behind his opponent and released a bullet, striking the enemy in the lower back.

“Gah!” the bandit groaned in pain.

A knot of rope whizzed by Will’s ear from behind, the attack seemingly thrown off-course by Will’s backstab landing first.

Rope Bandit still managed to raise his arm to block. It was covered in loop after loop of writhing rope, which coiled around his arm and acted as a shield, blocking the Serpent’s tomahawk.

I need to hit him half a dozen times in swift succession.

If Will could apply enough stacks of the debuff, he could make this fight far more even.

The bandit’s arm weakened by a near-imperceptible amount as Will’s debuff landed. Will might not’ve even noticed the difference if hadn’t been wearing so much Strength-boosting gear.

I’m stronger than him! Will thought in a split second of optimism.

Unfortunately the bandit realized the same thing, and he had two hands.

The ropes around the bandit’s arm exploded outward, tangling up Will’s weapon while he unsheathed a dagger with his other hand, whipping it forward.

Will threw his stump in the way, taking the stab on his useless arm and responding with an attack of his own, landing the Combat Platforms in the center of his opponent’s chest.

The kick wasn’t nearly as strong as it should’ve been because of the pain in his hip, and the bandit merely stumbled backwards, coughing air rather than blood.

SHWING!

Will tried to bring the tomahawk to bear to block, but the tangling ropes tore it out of his hand.

Damnit!

Sword Bandit had waited until Will disengaged with his buddy to unleash one of those bisecting sword-strikes.

Will turtled up, orienting Phantom hand to pull him away from the attack, gritting his teeth as his body exploded in pain.

The strike was shallower than it could’ve been, but it still left a deep laceration along his arm and torso.

How many Charges does he have left? Will thought, struggling to think of a way out.

It could’ve been anywhere between zero and fifty, which didn’t really give Will a lot of hope.

Will slid further back, aiming for Rope Bandit while keeping an eye out for another attack from Sword Bandit.”

I need to get the-

A loop of rope cinched down around Will’s midsection.

“Checkmate, you little-“ The Rope Bandit growled as his hands began to glow.

Desperate, Will interposed the Phantom Hand in the center of the rope. The Ability traveled down the rope like lightning, faster than any of them could perceive it.

The rope exploded right at the point where the phantom hand interrupted the flow of the Ability, knocking both Will and Rope Bandit on their asses.

Will wiggled in midair, keeping his gaze on Rope Bandit’s pocket the entire time.

Dimensional Storage

4/25 Charges Remaining.

Will plucked the ampule out of Rope Bandit’s pocket, with them none the wiser.

He immediately whipped the Phantom Hand over to Loth, emptying the red liquid into Loth’s mouth. For a brief instant he was resisted by something, but when he targeted the empty space above Loth’s open mouth, it worked.

Got it!

Schwing!

Will dove under another sword strike, then did a head-fake for the next one, not rising into the air as the bandit expected.

Now I just need to buy some time, Will thought, backing away from Loth, arranging his positioning so that they didn’t see Loth’s wounds heal.

“Hey, fellas, why don’t you just walk away? This obviously isn’t going as easily for you as you expected.” Will said.

“You look like twice-trod shit, and one of us has a scratch.” Sword bandit said, pointing at him.

“Scratch? You try getting hit in the spine,” Rope Bandit muttered, rubbing his back, but not taking his eyes off Will.

Good, they’re both looking at me.

“He’s got some kind of Counterspell,” Rope Bandit warned his buddy, whirling his knotted rope as the two of them crept towards him.

“And he can fly.” Sword bandit added.

“And some kind of Dimensional attack-from-behind-ability. I didn’t see anything.” Rope bandit said.

The two of them glanced at each other, an unspoken question passing between the two of them.

‘Should we actually be doing this?’

Will puffed up his chest, trying to look as intimidating as possible. If he could scare these guys off, that would be ide-

Unfortunately, that was when Homefield Advantage expired, just as Will wobbled in place, his balance suffering from a tortured inner ear and sudden blood loss.

They glanced at each other and grinned, charging forward.

Sword Bandit took the front while Rope Bandit made long-range attacks, forcing Will to blow another Charge on Homefield Advantage.

Sword Bandit slipped, but he didn’t let Will take advantage of it, warding him off with ranged slashes while Rope Bandit tried to catch him again.

What felt like an eternity later – but must’ve been twenty seconds – Gravity charge expired, leaving Will lurching in place, hissing in pain as his weight settled on his wounded leg.

BAM! Will blocked an attack, blinking through the pain before the man’s other hand caught him in the jaw, sending him sprawling.

“You fought good, William Oh.” Sword Bandit said, winding up for a killing blow.

ZZZ

Sword Bandit leaned aside, deflecting a bullet he’d heard coming a mile away.

On the nearby hill, a swarm of half a dozen Kobolds charged their position, their mouths frothing with rage as they whipped their slings over their head.

“FOR THE GREAT ONE!” Grak shouted, waving his spear as he charged. They were running like the wind, having been officially recognized by The Tower as Loth’s minions, and enjoying the multiple stacking speed benefits thereof.

Gravity Charge

2/25 Charged remaining.

Will seized the moment and fell towards Rope Bandit.

The man raised his rope-covered arm defensively, ready to ward off whatever attack Will had to offer.

Will grabbed the man’s fist with his own and wrenched it down with all his might, finally using Gravity Charge for exactly what it was meant for:

Headbutts.

The ethereal horns jutting from Will’s mask slammed into Rope Bandit’s face, sending him reeling backwards.

Hey you-damnit!” Sword Bandit shouted, forced to ward off a hail of attacks as more kobolds came in range.

“Enough!” Sword Bandit unleashed a blaze of fire from his sword that created a wall of fire, effectively blocking the Kobolds from interfering before turning back to Will.

He stood over his teammate, blocking Will’s follow-up kick. He seized Will’s leg with one hand and wrenched it up, causing Will to crumble to his knees with a cry of pain.

“You don’t understand who you’re messing with you little-

BANG!

Sword Bandit’s eyes went wide as a coin-sized hole opened up in his chest.

“Shiiiit.” He groaned as he toppled over into the ash of the third Floor.

Will glanced over at where Loth sat upright, his claws covered in ash from where he’d been desperately sifting through the ash for a bug. The black kobold was about half scar-tissue, half fresh burns that’d fused with his clothes and Relics. His scales had been largely burned away, leaving an almost mangy appearance.

Loth met Will’s gaze.

“Level fifteen.” He said moments before his eyes rolled back in his head, and he dropped back down into the ash.

Will glanced back at Rope Bandit.

The man glanced at his dead partner, then the guttering flames that Kobolds were already beginning to jump over, flooding into their little arena.

With a cry, Rope Bandit’s ropes exploded into a blinding confetti of string, ensnaring everyone present at the expense of all of Rope Bandit’s rope.

By the time Will could see and move freely, Rope Bandit was already gone.