Chapter 35: Friendly Banter
Chapter 35: Friendly Banter
"So, what you're saying is that Taro creeped his way into the dojo. Is that right?" Lonappan looked at the two aliens and asked.
"Yes, that's right." Gibli replied and Kunjan nodded his head to that.
"Hmm, okay. This could seriously be a problem later on. You get what I mean, Ponnappan?" He turned to his commanding officer and asked.
"I get it. I'll fast track the translator making process by a bit then. Don't expect too much though. It might still take time." Ponnappan replied.
"Wait, everything's fine with you two then?" Kunjan asked.
"Yea, I guess? There wasn't anything to begin with." Ponnappan shrugged.
"Yup. I totally believe that." Kunjan thought as he reminisced of the time he met up with Ponnappan. That was pretty shit.
Meanwhile, Gibli tried taking advantage of this situation. "Well, since you are in a good mood and all, how about you reinstate Taro's monthly allowance?" He asked nicely as he could.
Ponnappan smiled. "Look, I don't have anything against Taro. If it was on me, I would've done that already. However, Taro pissed off the commanding officer of MIB. I don't know how I can salvage that." He replied.
Gibli stared at him in confusion. "Hold on. Aren't you the commanding officer?" He asked.
"Yes." Ponnappan nodded.
"So, he pissed you off?" Gibli asked. He needed clarity more than anything now.
"Nah, He didn't piss ME off." Ponnappan reiterated his statement.
Gibli was at his wit's end. "Argh! That doesn't make any sense. You humans are really weird with your word plays and stuff. Just fucking say it already!" He cried.
Kunjan patted on his shoulder. "Calm down, mate." He said as he turned his attention towards Ponnappan. "So, you're saying that he didn't piss off the YOU you, however, he managed to piss off the commanding officer of MIB you, right?" He asked.
"Precisely." Ponnappan nodded his head in agreement.
"Precisely? What does that shit even mean?" Gibli screamed, utterly confused about whatever Kunjan said.
"Well, he's saying that there's no chance in hell that he's gonna give that allowance. So, don't bother." Kunjan tried calming down Gibli who desperately wanted to chew off Ponnappan's head.
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"Then he could've just said it bluntly." Gibli calmed down and replied.
"Well, humans like adding a certain amount of mystique to their words." Ponnappan smiled and waved his hands around in the air for no apparent reason.
"That's just plain stupid in my opinion." Gibli spoke as Ponnappan shrugged his shoulders.
"So, Taro is in the dojo now?" Lonappan, trying to divert the conversational topic asked to Kunjan.
"Well, yea. He's out there. I don't know how long it'll take though." Kunjan replied.
"Speak of the devil and he shall arrive." Ponnappan spoke as he pointed at Taro in the distance.
"Oh, hey Taro!" Gibli waved hard before turning towards Kunjan. "I never got that sentence. Does he mean Taro's the bad guy?" He asked.
"Human's have some weird dialects that even the universal translator finds difficult to understand. Therefore, it's better if we don't try to decipher their shit." Kunjan replied.
"Hey, guys!" Taro waved back.
"So, how was it?" Lonappan asked.
"I guess it went well. I will be going tomorrow as well." Taro replied.
"Oh,it's fine if you get a bit late tomorrow. I messaged your boss and he said that the work will only start the day after tomorrow." Lonappan spoke.
"Whoo! Finally, we got work again!" Gibli cheered up.
"Boss?" Ponnappan asked, dropping a confused expression.
"Well, weren't you the one who nulled Taro's monthly allowance?" Lonappan asked back.
"Yes? However, why are the others working?" Ponnappan asked, still confused about it.
"Well, since they care about their roommate! Except for Thankappan, of course. I asked him to join in for surveying them." Lonappan replied.
Hearing this, the previously walked off Thankappan came running back. "I care about my roommate too!" He cried before turning his attention to Taro. "Taro! Damn, I'm glad that you're back!" He cried as he hugged the alien tight.
"Were you worried?" Taro asked.
"Of course! I was searching for you too, until these two shitheads called in for me!" He scoffed at Lonappan and Ponnappan.
Taro suddenly noticed Ponnappan for the first time since he reached there. "Oh, hello Mr Clown!" He smiled and waved his hand.
"Yea, hello, Mr Whateveryournameis!" Ponnappan dawned the fakest smile on his face as he said his greetings.
"Well, glad to see that your hostility is still alive and kicking. Not that I didn't expect anything less." Lonappan sighed, seeing the commanding officer get in a catfight with an alien.
"Yea, I'm gonna go now!" Ponnappan laughed and quickly escaped the premises.
"I'll come as well!" Lonappan joined Ponnappan and headed out.
"Me, as well. Gotta get some of that well deserved sleep." Taro chuckled and headed towards the Holy Land.
"But, you don't sleep?" Gibli spoke, not knowing Taro's intent.
"Oh? Yea. I'm off to watch television then." Taro quickly changed his initial excuse.
"Well, you could've just said that before. Why did you lie?" Gibli asked.
However, Kunjan stopped him. "Not the right time to run your mouth like that, Gibli." He said as Taro glared a hole into Gibli's chest.
"Eek!" Gibli cried as he saw this and quickly shut his trap.
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Meanwhile, Ponnappan and Lonappan were once again alone by themselves for the second time that day. "Ha, the wind's a bit chilly, eh?" Lonappan asked, trying to make a conversation out of it.
"It's night. What else do you expect?" Ponnappan replied bluntly, thrashing all follow up conversations that Lonappan had planned.
"Sheesh, it is quite difficult to have a conversation with you, huh?" Lonappan sighed as he continued walking.
"Well, you did know that from way before, right?" Ponnappan asked.
"Yea. I'm fine with it. However, your social anxiety is just gonna let your image grow more sinister before your subordinates. Like, they might think that their boss is so high and mighty that he can't even give a fuck about what they are talking about." Lonappan explained.
"As if! And even if that's true, you can't just get rid of social anxiety whenever you want. Understand the pain of people living with it. They can only hold a proper conversation with the people whom they genuinely trust. Trying to make them different altogether will just ruin it for them." Ponnappan spoke.
"Begin small then. You don't have to just talk with every other person in this world. Go to a therapist or something. Speak about your troubles. Maybe, it's not that you are unable to hold a conversation, maybe it's just because you're stressed." He replied.
"Wait, aren't they related and not different?" Ponnappan asked.
"How would I know? You're supposed to ask that to the professionals. Like therapists." Lonappan got back to his previous point.
"I'm fine with talking with a therapist and all. However, talking about my profession to them is not a good idea, don't you think?" He asked Lonappan.
"Well, you're speaking as if there isn't a mental health act and a certified MIB therapist around you!" Lonappan shook his head in dismay. "You just don't wanna go, do you?" He asked.
"No, no! I'll go fix an appointment with a therapist soon. So, don't worry about that." Ponnappan assured.
"Good." Lonappan nodded in approval. The silence got back into the fold. Honestly, Lonappan didn't mind. It was good weather and he could just enjoy it in silence.
However, Ponnappan decided to try his best to start a conversation since he was responsible for thwarting Lonappan's advances. "#306" He mumbled.
"Huh?" Lonappan didn't quite get it.
"The #306 guys. They changed now, didn't they?" Ponnappan asked.
"What do you mean?" Lonappan asked back.
"Well, you do know the curse of #306." Ponnappan replied.
"Ha, the one where an alien ending up in that room becomes extremely unproductive and stuff?" He asked.
"Yea, those guys look really proactive now. That's a huge shift." Ponnappan replied.
"Well, you could thank Taro for that." Lonappan spoke.
Ponnappan didn't quite understand that. "What do you mean?" He asked.
"He's exactly the person that was required to fill the hole right in the middle." Lonappan said.
"You still are not explaining jack shit, mate." Ponnappan complained.
Lonappan sighed. "Look, as I said, the current squad was also quite similar to the earlier ones in room 306. However, Taro's arrival changed it. Why, you ask me one billion times? Well, Taro is someone they want to help since he knows jack shit about this world and someone delays his translator's arrival. Also, he's strong. By strong, I mean insanely strong." He explained.
"Give me an approximate value of his strength." Ponnappan requested.
"Well, on a given day, he can destroy this planet if he puts his mind into it." Lonappan answered.
"Holy! So, why isn't he in the calamity level danger's list?" He asked.
"Ah, I forgot!" Lonappan chuckled for no reason.
"This is no small matter! I'll add him in immediately." Ponnappan took out his phone and did some stuff. "There. He's at a calamity level now." He sighed.
"Well, don't worry. I'll survey him at all times!" Lonappan assured.
"You better! Or the world will literally end!" Ponnappan replied.
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