Chapter 4: Baldmen Order
Chapter 4: Baldmen Order
༺ Baldmen Order ༻
Karlstein nodded as he saw the community he accessed after a month was still the same.
I really like this little neighborhood.
The corners of his mouth raised slightly.
“Hieek!”
“Heup!”
When he did so, the people assisting him by his side began to tremble. This was the case for everyone, regardless of age, status, or gender.
“….”
Karlstein forced down the smile that had popped up, sighing inwardly.
‘Haaa….’
To be honest, he had a problem that wasn’t exactly a problem.
‘Maybe that’s why I was so happy about the community.’
It could be said that he was exhausted from living a double life for so long. It was a desperate measure to survive, perhaps even unavoidable.
Under his command was what was commonly known as the ‘Fallen Planet’.
It was a gathering of talents said to be capable of even bringing down stars.
To gather these cosmic-scale geniuses under the ‘Fallen Planet’, he had to act all the time. Some knew his true nature, but not everyone.
The word genius, in another sense, could also be called a natural disaster.
To unite these strong-willed geniuses, the greatest the universe had to offer, a leader must have what was called ‘dignity’.
And if even one person became disappointed in him and rebelled?
He could not even begin to imagine what they would do with their astounding, batshit insane talents.
To put it simply, they could just be thought of as web novel protagonists who turn to the dark aside and become enemies.
‘It would be a very, very terrible thing….’
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So, when necessary, he even had to use Aria’s Synchronization to act dignified. It had become a habit and it seemed almost natural to do so. It wasn’t for no reason that he ended up in this position as the Emperor of the Galactic Empire.
And because it was a problem he created with his own hands, it wasn’t something he could particularly complain about.
However, as he always had to act in front of others, he could not ignore the mental stress that came with it.
Some might wonder.
-But if he’s risen to such a position, wouldn’t dignity come naturally to him?
-Shouldn’t he be used to it by now?
He, too, once thought he would eventually adapt, but that was a severe misjudgment.
‘It’s all because of that damned privilege or whatever….’
When he fell into the world of ‘CGH’, he received a strange ability that was not clear as to whether it was truly a privilege or not.
If it had to be named, it would be called [Mental Invariability].
Even amidst war, surrounded by blood and flesh…
Even when just a single decision from him resulted in the annihilation of countless lives on a planet…
He would be a bit troubled, but he never broke down. Ever. And of course, this was incredibly strange.
Whenever he was about to break down, he somehow became perfectly fine again, so it could perhaps be considered a kind of protective measure.
However, the problem was that the petit bourgeois mentality from his previous life also remained fixed.
A small part of his mind remained as a middle-class nobody, thus tormenting him with a constant stream of loneliness and depression. Despite being on the brink of madness, the nature of [Mental Invariability] forced him to endure.
The thought of living a near-eternal life was truly terrifying.
Eternal Life.
For some, it was merely enviable, but it was different for the person actually experiencing it. True eternal life required a certain mental stability as a prerequisite.
“Hooo….”
His short sigh made the aides around him gulp and shudder.
‘This body of mine is also a problem….’
His body was not ordinary either. Although he appeared as a typical adult male, certain features of his body meant he had to live his life receiving fearful glances from the ordinary people.
He sent the people away and returned to his room, flopping down on the bed. A terrible sense of loneliness? Skepticism? Even he could not clearly identify the emotion that had piled up like snow.
Aria simply dismissed it as ‘deranged’, though.
Ding-
[Welcome to the Integrated Dimensional Community.]
He could tell that his past self was somewhat comforted by the sight of this.
Hm….
If I have to make a comparison, wasn’t it similar to the desire of a married man wanting to have his own time and leisure at times?
Don’t quote me on that, though. It didn’t come from me.
He checked the posts that had piled up over the past month, freely expressing his once middle-class, commoner self.
***
It had been a month since he properly enjoyed the community. He had been incredibly busy until now; the schedule Aria planned out for him to the very second was literally murderous.
Having barely finished the last schedule, Karlstein could finally afford a moment of leisure.
Then, a certain word caught his eye. Many times, at that.
“Baldmen? What’s this now?”
As he slowly sifted through past posts, he found the culprit behind the problem.
Hair loss medication?
“How ridiculous.”
His collection of spaceships was hardly mentioned. They were limited edition battleships he had put a lot of effort into obtaining; in fact, it was the highest grade series that couldn’t be purchased, even with money.
He felt a strange sentiment upon learning his collection of space battleships was overshadowed by mere hair loss medication.
He gloomily composed a post.
-Title: Gaze upon this, Baldmen Order
(Rough Photo of Hair Loss Medication.jpg)
-guys, guys calm down. so, you’re asking for the manufacturing method of this hair loss medication, right?
Not long after Karlstein posted his message, comments started pouring in rapidly. The unprecedented fervor of the comments made him chuckle in disbelief.
“Smh.”
└Baldmen
└Please grant us your mercy
└O, God
└Baldmen
└Baldmen
└wow he’s seriously gonna reveal this for free?
└i heard baldies love free stuff but to think its actually tru lololol
└You… you’ve gone too far
└shut up lush hair mfer!
└dont ruin this for us and fk off!
└i cant believe you actually believe that goofy ahhh LMAOOO bald mofos
└Baldmen
└isnt this the mf who went to shaolin temple? wtf is he doing here
Karlstein personally responded to the enthusiastic reception.
-But what to do… At the level that your civilizations are at, you won’t be able to make it anyway… Sorry. There’s just no shot with mediocre technology.
As soon as he posted this new message, there seemed to be a moment of silence. Comments that had been flowing in real-time stopped abruptly.
└the fuck is this mfer saying
└The Baldmen Order wails in despair
└you humiliated me
└fucking hell is this bitch fucking with us
└insane bait holy the false hope goes crazy
└Bald…men…
└you played my heart like a fiddle, played my heart like a fiddle hey~ you played my hair like a fiddle, played my hair like a fiddle1actual song called: “Love Actually” by Daybreak and Sunny Hill. The first part, “You played my heart like a fiddle” is the actual lyrics. And then, they switch up “heart” with “hair” to fit this context as a joke :)) Link to MV: /watch?v=MStMdxnrYyY
└Whoever is above me, that’s enough.
└my guy is genuinely pissed af LMAOOOO
└just as expected, the cap master, the bluff king strikes again
└we cant make it? LOL tf is he on about? there’s no one here who hasnt dabbled in magical engineering
└look at this mofo disrespecting magical engineering just bc he’s in an sf LMAO if we meet, this lil fucker wont even be able to say a word. keep coping dumbass. just release the manufacturing method
└the audacity of a mere human to critique a transcendent being’s technology
└ayo! you! wanna get hit by a meteor? huh?!
└is he looking down on qi arts? does this guy even know the mysteries of the east lololol
└r u underestimating dwarves? a mere human dares to debate technology?
Karlstein nodded at the intense reactions from the Otherworlders. Fine then, he should respect their wishes and give them the benefit of the doubt.
-So, is it possible to treat baldness with Magic, Dwarves, Magical Engineering, or Qi Arts?
└….
└….
Silence. Then, once again, a torrent of comments erupted. From ‘1v1 me bro’ to ‘how dare u yap just because ur anonymous’, a range of angry comments were posted.
He smirked.
Of course, he was half-joking too. He didn’t actually want to hit people’s sore spots with false hope. After skimming through the manufacturing method, he diligently replied.
└If you can manipulate material at the picometer level, obtain a pseudo-magnetic guidance system with supernormal response, and have technology that can control core pressure, it might just be possible.
└….
└pi… pico what?
└it’s a unit smaller than nano
└what’s a core?
└he’s just yapping
└is he looking down on us bc we cant understand
└yapping fr
└it might be possible up to the level of nanometers, but….
└O Creator, what in the world were you thinking when creating baldness? Why is it that we need such technologies to even attempt to cure this horrid disease?
└LMAO God: ah, i didn’t expect u guys to actually cure it LOL
└is verification even possible
└it’s all just bullshit you retards how r u actually believing him
└ah baldy order lololol got fooled again, ye?
He could observe the despair of the Baldmen Order in real-time.
“Well, if they can’t believe it, I guess it can’t be helped.”
He scratched his head and then uploaded the manufacturing method. It was a rather condensed version he had organized.
└no shot. could this actually be real?
└nono dont u remember? that so-called archmage posted, saying that it was a spell for dimensional travel magic then got busted by a dragon reincarnator and went MIA LOLLLLL
└LMAO they posted fuck all bc they thought no one would recognize it LOLOLOL
└turned out to be a spell that transforms people into beastkin lolol
└but in terms of theory, it was said to be possible at the 10th circle lmao
└why did that mage even need to create a beastkin transformation magic….
└furryfurry LOLOLOL mfer was saying how his dreams came true after getting his shit verified by the dragon or whatever….
└screw all that! So, is this actually real? whether it’s magical engineering, dragons, or liches, it doesntt matter! just come out and show us.
└I am currently a dwarf apprentice. It is theoretically impossible.
└I am currently the Chief Security Guard of the Magic Tower. It is not a technology of humans.
└ah stop fucking around!
└ah… it’s complicated af but it kinda feels real
└ooh u can interpret that?
└the one thing that’s certain is that creating it is impossible.
└ugh why?!
└anyway, it’s impossible
Despite posting the manufacturing method, the community’s reaction could not be good. After all, it was because the complex chemical reaction formula and various SF physics formulas were not easy to understand, leading everyone to throw up their hands in defeat.
└i majored in physics before transmigrating, but i cant understand any of this
└I have a master’s degree in physics. But I cannot make heads or tails of this.
└I was an associate professor of physics at Korea University. I’ll just pass by.
“If they can’t understand it even after I gave them all the answers, there’s nothing I can do.”
While he felt like he could somewhat make them understand by going over each step one at a time, he didn’t feel obliged to do so. Just because they understood it didn’t mean they could do it and it wasn’t easy to explain either. After all, he didn’t know about it in that much detail.
That was when a pleasing voice reached his ears, a tone clear and pure yet also crisp and smart.
-Master, we have finished hacking the Inter-Dimensional Network.
The corners of Kalstein’s mouth lifted at the sound of such welcome news.
- 1
actual song called: “Love Actually” by Daybreak and Sunny Hill. The first part, “You played my heart like a fiddle” is the actual lyrics. And then, they switch up “heart” with “hair” to fit this context as a joke :)) Link to MV: /watch?v=MStMdxnrYyY