The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

Chapter 33: The Fight over One Bowl of Water

Translator: CKtalon Editor: CKtalon

Fangzheng obviously knew how tasty his Unrooted Clean Aqua was. However, he did not plan on giving them more water. If they finished it, he would need to fetch more water. That was a physically tiring task!

“Amitabha. Patron, please do not act this way. One bowl per person is this temple’s rules. One bowl is enough to quench a person’s thirst,” said Fangzheng.

Fatty wanted to continue speaking when Monkey interrupted, “Fatty, are you possessed? It’s only water. Do you need to go this far? So what if you can’t drink anymore. I’m dying of thirst. Master, can you bring me a bowl?” Monkey no longer looked at Fangzheng like he was a conman anymore. Instead, there was a look of respect on his face.

Fangzheng nodded and returned to fetch him water.

Fatty grumbled behind him, “Seriously, I’ve never seen such a hustler of a monk. He only gave a bowl of water. One bowl is fine, but he gave such a small bowl.”

“Enough, Fatty. Cut it out. That bowl isn’t small. It was a soup bowl. I won’t even be able to finish such a big bowl. I’ll share half with you,” Ruan Ying whispered.

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When Fatty heard that, he was delighted immediately. He hugged Ruan Ying and said with a foolish laugh, “My Yingying is the best. Haha!”

“Do you mind? There’s a single person here, alright? If you keep doing such public displays of affection, I’ll release the gas in your car tires,” Jiang Ting threatened as she could not stand the lovey-dovey act.

Ruan Ying blushed as Fatty leaned to the side and said smugly, “Jiang Ting, isn’t it about time you find someone?”

“It’s none of your business.” Jiang Ting turned her head away and saw Fangzheng holding a bowl with one hand. It was filled to the brim with water. He didn’t walk slowly, and the ground was uneven, yet not a drop of water spilled. Upon seeing this, Jiang Ting wondered secretly, ‘Could it be that there’s a problem with the water? If not, how can the water not spill?’

Just as she was feeling suspicious, Monkey received his bowl. However, as it was too full, the water immediately spilled. Only then did Jiang Ting know that it wasn’t a problem with the water but with the person! She marveled in her mind. How stable were the monk’s hands for him to accomplish this feat?

Fatty looked at Monkey beside him. Monkey was only staring at the water and not drinking it. Fatty could not help but say, “Monkey, if you aren’t thirsty, I’ll help you drink it.”

“Get lost,” after Monkey said that, he flung his hand out. However, Fatty grabbed his hand and with a pouting face, said, “Monkey, don’t waste it. I’ll help you lick it.”

“Scram!” Monkey was truly disgusted by Fatty’s act. Turning away, he lifted his head up and drank a huge mouthful!

In the next instant, Monkey’s eyes widened into two round circles. Immediately following that, he stopped suddenly and began to embrace the cup carefully.

“Monkey, what are you doing? Why aren’t you drinking? Are you full from drinking it? Why don’t you let me drink it for you?” Fatty came forward once again.

“Darn you, Fatty. I was wondering why you were acting so shamefully for the water. So there’s something about it in here! I’m telling you. This water is mine. Don’t you dare think of touching a drop of it!” Monkey clasped the bowl carefully as if only death could separate him from it.

Fatty smacked his lips and swallowed a mouthful of saliva. “What are you talking about? Am I such a person? Your wife is drinking too.”

Monkey turned around but suddenly felt his shoulder sink. Turning his head, he saw Fatty leaning over his shoulder and stretching his head out with his tongue sticking out. He was crazily licking at the bowl of water!

“F**k!” Monkey was incensed right there and then.

The rest were dumbfounded!

Fangzheng was also a little taken aback. He knew that the water was extremely delicious. It could reduce fatigue and provide moisture to every cell. That refreshing and comfortable feeling was definitely much better than getting high! There was no need to even compare it to iced beverages. However, Fatty’s actions were truly rendering him speechless. He was even considering if he should give the fellow another bowl.

However, just thinking of how the fellow had acted like a jerk from the moment he arrived, Fangzheng immediately abandoned the thought.

Jiang Ting, Lu Xiaoya, and Ruan Ying were completely dumbstruck. They did not know why the two men were acting so weirdly.

Before the trio could ask a question, Monkey kicked Fatty away as he said angrily, “Darn Fatty, you are going overboard! This is mine!”

Fatty shrugged and said, “Sorry. I couldn’t help it. If you don’t mind my saliva, go ahead and drink it. But why don’t I just treat you to a huge meal at the Grand Crimson Hotel? You can eat anything you want. My treat. And you can give me the water in return.”

Monkey huffed as he glared at Fatty and said, “You definitely planned this!”

Lu Xiaoya came over and said, “Fatty, really? Treating us at Grand Crimson Hotel?”

“Definitely! Xiaoya, if you were to give your bowl to me, I’ll buy you the newest Louis Vuitton bag. How about it?” asked Fatty immediately.

“Really?! But-” Lu Xiaoya was just about to say something when Monkey suddenly shouted, “No! Absolutely not! Xiaoya, you drink your water. This darn fatty has robbed me of half a bowl of water. And now, he wants to cheat you out of yours? No way! Isn’t it just a Louis Vuitton bag? I’ll buy it for you.”

“Monkey, you’re the best.” Lu Xiaoya smiled delightfully. She also turned curious over the charms of the water. Why were the two clowns causing such a stir?

Fatty said, “Monkey, what are you going to do with that remaining water of yours?”

“Gulp!” Monkey immediately drank it clean!

Fangzheng rolled his eyes and turned around. It was too disgusting. He could not bear watching any further.

Lu Xiaoya, Ruan Ying, and Jiang Ting turned around as they could not stand it either.

Fatty was dumbfounded as he exclaimed, “What the hell, you- You actually didn’t mind that?”

Monkey said with a scoff, “Compared to this water, what’s that bit of saliva of yours?”

“Master, is this bowl mine?” Lu Xiaoya was truly curious and could not help but run over to Fangzheng to ask.

Fangzheng said with a nod, “Yes.”

Lu Xiaoya took the bowl from Fangzheng’s hand and gently took a sip. She looked extremely ladylike. Her actions were graceful and although she looked bubbly and active, she was actually a girl that had been trained in etiquette.

However, at the next moment-

Lu Xiaoya raised the bowl and began gulping the water down as well!

Monkey and Fatty, who were still arguing by the side, stopped when they saw this. Fatty kicked Monkey while Monkey probed, “Xiaoya, did you leave a mouthful for me?”

Pa!

Lu Xiaoya smacked Monkey on the head and raised the bowl with one hand. She had finished it in one shot! Only after overturning the bowl and ensuring that there was no more water left did she lower the bowl reluctantly. Then, she glared and said with a scoff, “Darn you, Monkey. Why didn’t you leave a mouthful of such delicious water for me? You even wanted to drink mine?”

Monkey nearly burst into tears. Lu Xiaoya was even coveting his water! He had truly suffered a double loss. However, Monkey immediately said, “I wanted to leave you some! But Fatty licked at it, how can I give you such water? Even if I gave it to you, would you drink it?”

Lu Xiaoya looked sinisterly at Fatty as he raised his hands high up and said, “Dinner is my treat!”

Lu Xiaoya immediately laughed.

As the few of them spoke, Fangzheng had brought over two bowls of water. He asked, “Patrons, do the two of you want some too?”