The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

Chapter 8

TN: More sarcasm this chapter. LOL. Also, changed a term. That false ‘cultivation technique’ Ming Fan gave to Luo Binghe will now be called ‘cultivation manual.’ I think it’s a more accurate translation. And the ‘Immortal Assembly Conference’ will now be ‘Immortal Alliance Conference’ instead.

This chapter may need to be edited later. ^^

An opportunity only lasts for a moment! Shen Qingqiu’s pupils contracted!

Just when that palm was striking down, an unexpected happening like the doings of gods and ghosts occurred: a ceiling beam broke......

If Shen Qingqiu was still only a reader of “Proud Immortal Demon Way,” after reading to here, he would throw down his cell phone and curse up a torrent of abuse like dog’s blood.

The system already stated that the eternal, iron-clad rule is that the protagonist will not die. That is to say, if anything threatens the protagonist’s life, a death flag will be triggered!

Shen Qingqiu purposefully instigated Butterfly to attack Luo Binghe just to utilize this iron-clad rule and borrow a knife to kill someone. Though doing things this way wasn’t very upright, Luo Binghe won’t be in any danger at all. Even if something happens, Shen Qingqiu will take responsibility and fix things himself. Currently he’s dropping Luo Binghe into a hole, but if he takes the long view, there are still opportunities in the future to regain good favor.

But.

Airplane Towards The Sky, what are you treating the intelligence of your readers as! How can a perfectly magnificent new mansion suddenly experience a broken ceiling beam!

Even if it’s to let the protagonist escape with his life, this turn of events is too stiff and unnatural! Bad writing!

That almost entirely new ceiling beam was unbiased and just happened to smash onto Butterfly, almost laying her flat on the ground, unable to get up. It also just happened to bring down the pillar that Luo Binghe and Ning Yingying were tied to.

Ning Yingying had already been scared dizzy earlier. Luo Binghe struggled and the bindings miraculously loosened. On the other hand, Shen Qingqiu was still bound by the Binding Immortal Cable, watching Luo Binghe stand near the fallen Butterfly in silence......

Just like this...... things are concluded?

Even as he thought this, Butterfly flipped the ceiling beam and sprang up.

She furiously said: “Shen Qingqiu! Cang Qiong Mountain sect’s people are truly base and shameless, full of schemes! What kind of twisted method did you use to harm me from behind?”

Shen Qingqiu was very innocent. This wasn’t his business, truly. The person who suffered the most was probably Luo Binghe.

Butterfly unforgivingly said: “So you were purposefully tricking me, trying to divert my attention and sneak-attack. How else would a perfectly good ceiling beam like this fall down, and right on top of me too?”

You’ve also noticed the unreasonable execution of events; doesn’t this mean your intelligence can still be saved? Shen Qingqiu’s heart was a little hopeful.

Butterfly laughed coldly: “You think something like this is enough to stop me? Dream on. Unless it’s cut with an immortal treasure sword, Binding Immortal Cable won’t break. Normal means won’t open it.”

......Just praised you and you said something stupid again. Please don’t talk about how to release your enemy! Also, are you afraid I’ll miss seeing where you put the Xiu Ya sword? You even took special care to pull back your cloak and show where it’s sticking out from your waist, patting it!

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Shen Qingqiu couldn’t stand it anymore. He took some time to talk with the system: ‘That stupid......I have to ask, do all the villains walk this kind of path?’

The system said: 【To ensure that you will smoothly pass this beginning checkpoint mission after activating Easy Mode, the villain’s intelligence level has been set below average. 】

Shen Qingqiu strongly approved: ‘Hah, thanks. I want to say that your Easy Mode’s design is really too easy to use. Good product, good product.’

Butterfly gritted her teeth and said: “This time no matter what you say, I won’t listen anymore! Accept your death, Shen Qingqiu!”

Shen Qingqiu shouted: “Last word!”

Under the might of Easy Mode, Butterfly stopped to listen: “What else did you want to say?”

Shen Qingqiu thought for a moment, then asked: “How’s the taste of sleeping with an old man in his sixties?”

“......” While Butterfly’s face twisted, her entire body trembling, Luo Binghe suddenly advanced from behind!

He divested Butterfly of the Xiu Ya sword hanging at her waist, drawing the sword and illuminating the room with snow-white light. A silver shadow passed and the Binding Immortal Cable on Shen Qingqiu was broken.

Really can only blame this mini-BOSS’s intelligence under Easy Mode for being below average; Luo Binghe was standing right behind her. She’s sure to die.

Butterfly exclaimed: “This is impossible – ”

Enough! I don’t want to listen! I don’t want to listen to the BOSS’s final words before dying! Shen Qingqiu pulled at his spiritual power, summoning it in his right hand and struck out his palm, hitting Butterfly’s chest. She flew out like a broken-stringed kite.

This is Shen Qingqiu’s first time making a move to ‘kill.’ But he didn’t hesitate at all. Because firstly, this is a novel; secondly, this was a demon that had killed countless people; thirdly, if he didn’t make a move then he would have been the one to die.

Shen Qingqiu looked at the ‘Butterfly’s’ twisted limbs, a horrible sight as blood flowed from all seven apertures, overly beaten. He used the three reasons listed above to clear his mind and brainwash himself.

Luo Binghe’s childish face was mostly white.

Shen Qingqiu calmed himself and slowly stood up, gaining composure and posed as he turned to Luo Binghe: “Your first time seeing this ‘demon extermination defense,1’ are you scared stiff?”

Pausing, he continued: “If you want to ‘defend,’ you must ‘exterminate.’”

Luo Binghe gritted his teeth and blurted out: “Earlier......”

Shen Qingqiu said: “You want to ask what I planned to do if the ceiling beam hadn’t suddenly fallen down earlier?”

Shen Qingqiu has no choice but to suffer in silence. He really wanted to tell Luo Binghe to rest his heart, he definitely won’t die. The ceiling beam will definitely fall down. But can he?!

He can only pretend to be lofty and mysterious: “This can be counted as blaming this master?”

Luo Binghe shook his head and sincerely said: “No. If I can give up my life for Shizun, it would be an honor for this disciple.”

......Shen Qingqiu was shocked at how much he was like a pure white lotus!2

Shen Qingqiu thought for a while, choosing a more beautiful phrasing.

“Then this master will also tell you. Even if something happened, nothing will happen to you.”

This was a big truth. Even if Shen Qingqiu died hundreds upon hundreds of times, the golden-bodied protagonist Luo Binghe would still be able to live perfectly well!

His expression calm and certain, unperturbed without the slightest false appearance. His voice was sonorous as he said: “This fact is definitely not false.”

Luo Binghe listened to his words. It was as though he’d been lit up with new vitality. The slightly drooping sunflower from earlier gained a new lease on life. With both hands, he raised the sword and respectfully offered it up to Shen Qingqiu: “Shizun. Your sword!”

Shen Qingqiu took it over.

This child’s heart right now was truly honest. Though earlier he was dropped so far in a pit that his spirit had flown right out, another turn of events and he was fully revived with his blood pumping. If you are always like this, then how good that would be!

Afterwards, he listened to the system’s notices – just like a succession of cannon fire – and felt cool enough to overturn the skies.

【Ning Yingying’s good feelings towards you have increased. Protagonist’s coolness level: +50 Points.】

【Gained high-level equipment ‘Binding Immortal Cable.’ Villain’s strength: +50 Points.】

【Completion of beginning checkpoint mission: +200 Points. OOC function is unfrozen. From now on, you have full control of the ‘Shen Qingqiu’ account. Congratulations! Please continue your efforts. 】

Shen Qingqiu was almost in love with this kind of feeling; it was just like gambling with high stakes.

From now on, he can formally embark on the great and glorious career of hugging the male protagonist’s thighs!

The first task for him after returning to Cang Qiong Mountain sect was to go to the sect’s main headquarters at Qiong Ding Peak3 and report to Yue Qingyuan.

On the way, Shen Qingqiu once again felt that this older apprentice-brother and sect head’s existence was exactly like that of a mission-giving NPC. However, this kind of feeling faded without a trace right after he entered the gates.

He hadn’t even stepped into the lobby when Yue Qingyuan immediately swept over with his Qiong Ding Peak disciples. They had both just met when his right hand immediately took Shen Qingqiu’s pulse.4 Shen Qingqiu was surprised, but then saw Yue Qingyuan hadn’t made any other moves and his expression was entirely focused. Immersed in low-level spiritual power, he knew that he was only inspecting his internal state and spiritual flow and calmed down.

After seeing that the circulation of his spiritual power was correct and uninjured, Yue Qingyuan let out a breath and smiled. He walked into the main lobby with Shen Qingqiu and asked: “How was their strength?”

He was just like the eternal big brother back home in behavior and tone, which let Shen Qingqiu’s heart feel warm. Even the word he had to speak next didn’t feel quite so painful: “Unsatisfactory.”

The disciples hadn’t even seen a shadow of that demon ‘Skinner’ and everything had been resolved by Shen Qingqiu. From the viewpoint of letting the disciples gain experience, it truly was unsatisfactory and not up to expectations.

Yue Qingyuan said: “It doesn’t need to be rushed.”

Shen Qingqiu nodded and suddenly changed the subject: “Brother sect head, I want to enter seclusion in Qiong Ding Peak’s spirit caves5 behind the mountain.”

Qiong Ding Peak was considered the first among the Twelve Peaks and naturally has the greatest accumulation of energies from heaven and earth. And the spirit caves at Qiong Ding Peak are the best place to cultivate, requiring less effort. Therefore, only the more senior sect members or exceptionally talented young disciples can apply to enter the caves for cultivation. Their application to enter can only succeed if they have the sect head’s permission.

If Shen Qingqiu wanted to enter seclusion and cultivate in the spirit caves, of course Yue Qingyuan would accept. He asked: “This is to prepare for the Immortal Alliance Conference?”

Shen Qingqiu said: “Just so.”

Truthfully, it was not only because he needed real strength to get by during the Immortal Alliance Conference scenario. There are other, more complex reasons.

The recent incident with the Skinner had let him become acquainted with the importance of cultivating well. In this world, it was only after attaining strength that he could have the right to think of future events.

Also, he really had no words for Yue Qingyuan’s behavior towards him. Even if he wanted to reverse the original ending of Shen Qingqiu directly killing Yue Qingyuan, Shen Qingqiu still had to carefully consider his life afterwards.

In the future, he must use a more proactive approach to control the plot.

Before seclusion, Shen Qingqiu called Luo Binghe over and gave him the correct entry-level cultivation manual.

Luo Binghe received the cultivation manual but still asked: “Shizun, why do you have to give this disciple an entirely different cultivation manual?”

Shen Qingqiu calmly said a bunch of nonsense: “Your constitution is somewhat different. You can’t cultivate with the regular cultivation manual.”

He didn’t want to reveal so quickly the truth of Ming Fan giving Luo Binghe a false cultivation manual, even though it would come out sooner or later. He could still delay it a bit.

Towards the image of Shen Qingqiu’s back, Luo Binghe held the cultivation manual. His heart was greatly shaken.

This was a cultivation manual that Shizun specially gave to him!

Shen Qingqiu completely didn’t know that Luo Binghe had such a huge misunderstanding......

—End Chapter 8—

1Demon extermination defense (除魔衛道): Pretty much just translated the characters literally.

2Pure white lotus: A person referred to as a ‘white lotus’ is said to be pure and innocent, just like a lotus. This is the traditional meaning of the term and the one used in this novel (not to be confused with the slang version meaning someone’s a two-faced broad with good acting skills).

3Qiong Ding Peak (穹頂峰): Meaning is ‘dome peak.’

4[taking]... pulse: This is a cultivation/traditional Chinese medicine thing. If you’re good enough, you can gauge someone’s health by taking their pulse.

5...spirit caves (掌門師兄，我要入穹頂峰後山靈犀洞閉關): This sentence gave me fits. Not sure if I translated it right. Shen Qingqiu implies that he wants to enter a spirit cave to cultivate and improve his spiritual power. Spirit cave = 靈犀洞.

Extra note:

The shi (師) character in shifu, shizun, and the like are all the same. It means teacher/master. Shen Qingqiu often refers to himself as ‘this teacher/master’ using the shi character. Ex. ‘wei shi‘ = ‘I master/teacher.’

Also, isn’t Luo Binghe the cutest? He just got noticed by senpai and his heart went doki-doki.

*is stabbed*