Vol. 2 - Chapter 12 - Light
"Sheriel, please tell me your answer from yesterday!"
Despite the fact that breakfast had just begun, Marcel's lively voice echoed through the dining hall.
"Marcel-sama, I apologize, but I must decline."
"W-Why? I hate to say it myself, but I don't think you'll find a better teacher than me."
Certainly, considering magical knowledge and abilities, that might be true. However, Noah knows about my attributes in detail, and above all, he's less troublesome and less risky. Marcel's offer is appreciated, but for the sake of my remaining time, I need to decline properly. But how should I explain it...
"Um... well..."
"Marcel-sama, can't you see that Sheriel is troubled? I cannot allow my sister to become a subject of study. Besides, there was a failed ritual once, and Sheriel is still unsettled due to the anxiety and confusion of it. I hope you can understand that aspect."
As I stumbled over my words, Didier came to my aid with a perfect smile. It feels like I'm relying on others too much, making me feel inadequate, but for now, I'll lean on Didier's kindness.
I looked a bit troubled and apologized to Marcel once again.
"I see... I certainly shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation. But if you ever have any troubles, please consult me anytime. It's true I have ulterior motives, but the Mage Guild will definitely lend you its strength."
"Thank you, Marcel-sama. I appreciate your concern."
After that, Marcel continued to treat me the same way as before, without changing his attitude. Despite making him wait for a day and then declining, I truly believe he's a good person.
"Priest, how about taking a walk later?"
After breakfast and as we were leaving the room, I called out to the ash-haired priest. He flinched slightly, then hesitated for a moment before nodding.
Though I was a bit concerned about Didier behind me, I guided the priest to the familiar garden. Even if I wanted to steal a sideways glance, his untamed, long, ashen hair hid everything.
"Have you had a chance to rest a bit?"
"Yes."
I couldn't help but feel he's talking less than before. Maybe he's naturally quiet. Thinking that, it struck me, I've only heard his apologies and his confession from the past.
We've never had any small talk or discussions about things he likes. I know nothing about him. Would it be okay for me, who knows nothing and is basically ignorant, to be involved in his life?
A bit hesitant, I decided to voice my thoughts anyway.
"Priest, would you like to work here?"
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"Huh?"
"I've thought of a way you wouldn't have to return to the temple. How about working here at the Beriard House under a new identity?"
The priest's face, still lowered, turned slightly toward me, and his steps came to an abrupt halt. Proposing something like this to him, who had never left the temple before, might be harsh.
"So... um, the idea is for you to pretend you've died and live as a different person. However, I do understand that abandoning your entire past life is a difficult thing. But if the priest agrees, you could take on a new position here."
"So, you mean... I would die and become someone else...?"
Indeed, that's probably the crux of the issue. I hadn't thought he would readily accept an act that's akin to killing himself, but if this method fails, there won't be anything else I can do.
"Of course, I'll respect the priest's decision! If you become someone else, there won't be anyone who knows you anymore. You won't be able to meet people close to you as the priest anymore. You won't be able to directly protest against the temple or seek revenge. So, I won't force you into this, but..."
From the gaps in his ashen hair, I caught a glimpse of a mouth that had been bitten to the point of turning white. Once you kill someone, you can't undo it. I needed to explain as many downsides as possible to the bewildered priest.
As I repeated my words, the priest for the first time loosened his cheeks and smiled.
"I've always wanted to die."
"Priest..."
Even someone like me, who can't read emotions well, can understand that there's no lie in those words. His eyes carry a sense of having given up on something, yet there's a faint glimmer deep within.
And slowly, he conveyed his intention to me.
"I've always... wanted to end this kind of life. But I was afraid of facing the sin of running away from my punishment. If Lady Sheriel will grant me forgiveness, I am willing to... happily die. If you would grant me a new life, I would offer it all to Lady Sheriel. The sins that remain within me, as well as the sin of running away from punishment, I will continue to atone for them from now on. So, please, kill this version of me."
I had misunderstood. The priest wasn't hesitating due to the formal disappearance of his own life. It was his consciousness of his own sins he couldn't escape from.
Even as someone who had been reborn, I couldn't completely detach myself from my past life. As long as memories remain, the self-consciousness of being "me" continues to exist.
Would people laugh at the priest, who endures solely to atone for non-existent sins? Would they find it foolish that he entrusts his life to a child he just met? I couldn't comprehend the priest's distress. Why doesn't he just flee? Why doesn't he retaliate? Why does he continue to blame himself?
The priest who wishes to be killed still believes in his own sins. Surely, neither a god nor I could grant him absolution.
I might not understand, but Beriards would show understanding.
"Priest, I will be the one to kill you. I will also accept your parents' sins. From now on, please think only of yourself. Accept a new life and strive to find happiness."
"To find... happiness, through effort..."
I couldn't heal the priest's wounds or remove his guilt. I can only use my identity as the youngest child of the Beriard House, something I'll gain from today onward, to slightly change his perspective.
"Oh, right. Shall we decide on a new name? Do you have any preferences?"
"Would I... be given a name?"
"Of course. Since my father is still alive now, I can include your name with my official correspondence to have it legalized."
The priest fell into a brief silence as if contemplating, then turned directly towards me.
"If you permit it, Lady Sheriel, I would like to receive a name from you."
"Whoa, hold on there. Entrusting your naming to Sheriel might end in regret, you know?"
Just as I had been listening silently, Didier unexpectedly chimed in. It seems he's concerned about my choice of names. While Guri-chan's name was a bit straightforward, Noah's name is quite good.
The priest shook his head repeatedly, indicating that he had no doubts. Didier, pressing to ensure if it's really okay, nodded his head up and down.
In that case, I should think it through properly. I want the priest's future to be brighter from now on, if only just a little. I need to erase the past name, which he had mentioned is too explicit.
"How about 'Licht'...? It means 'light'. May light be present throughout your future, and may Licht himself become a source of light. I put my wishes into it. What do you think?"
As if light were actually seeping out, the priest's eyes sparkled.
"Licht... To receive such a wonderful name, truly..."
"Hmm, well, it's not too bad, right? For Sheriel, that is. At least she didn't name you 'Stew'."
Hesitatingly, while the priest muttered "Licht" repeatedly, Didier, beside him, left another tactless comment.
"Even I, of course, think carefully about people's names! Noah and Guri-chan were about capturing their features and making them understandable."
"Haha, I wonder what kind of face Noah would make if he heard that."
Oh well! Didier's teasing just ruined the naming ceremony. Even though it's a grand task to give someone a name, I end up sweating thinking about it now. But judging from the priest's reaction, it seems he's pleased, so I'll take it as a win.
The priest, who had been looking downward until now, gazed up at the sky, still mulling over his new name.
"Licht, let's take our time to think about what you will do from now on."
Licht's thoughts seemed to return to me with a start, and suddenly he knelt on one knee. He placed his left hand on his chest, his right hand around his waist, and bent his upper body forward, presenting his neck in a posture that conveyed utmost respect.
The gesture was the most respectful greeting of nobles.
"Lady Sheriel, if it pleases you, may I dedicate this life, this soul, this entire lifetime to you?"
To an offer of dedicating his life, I wasn't unaffected. I haven't done anything myself; it's all thanks to Didier, Hermes, and Sergio. But because of that, I felt I should respond. I need to have the resolve to bear Licht's life, even though I had simply suggested, 'Maybe you don't have to return.'
I needed to make a decision.
"I permit it."
With these words, Licht clutched his hand against his chest, his face wrinkled with emotion and dampened by tears.
And once again, I made up my mind. I must live properly, I must survive. I can't abandon Licht's determination after just three years or so.
Walking through the garden, I called out "Licht" several times, while slowly strolling. His cheeks blushed faintly, as if embarrassed, and his gaze, which had always been downward, gradually shifted to the flowers and trees.
When I first met him, he seemed like a withered tree in the color of soil, but now he appeared to have regained some vitality. Light had taken residence in his once vacant eyes, his slightly drooping eyes looked like those of a puppy, quite cute.
I decided to keep quiet. After all, he probably wouldn't want to hear such things from someone six years his junior.
"...So, could you submit this with the name 'Licht'?"
Returning from our walk, I visited Sergio's office to make this request.
"And, I would like you to consider that I disposed of the priest sent from the temple. At least on paper, I want to take responsibility. Didier said he wanted to be officially considered my sibling, and I kind of get it now. In the end, it's just a definition on paper. But it's different from vows to the gods or mutual pledges; it's more like a declaration, a statement of intention."
"Sure, that's fine. Since it will probably become a rumor that the Beriard family bought Sheriel anyway, I can say we bought him while we were at it. It might be a bit out of sync timing-wise, but nobody's too fussy about how servants are handled. Oh, of course, I won't explicitly state that Sheriel was purchased."
"So, even in the Dark Auction, such things become known?"
"It's not so much about what's being rumored as it is the fact that the Beriard family can't keep secrets."
"Yes, given that other nobles were there, seeing you would give away the whole story. But revealing that I was there would bring out other information, so it will just be a rumor."
"True, with your hair being what it is."
While answering each of my questions, Sergio was effortlessly drafting new documents. Despite his claims of disliking paperwork, he seemed quite skilled at it.
Hermes seemed to have communicated everything in advance, as the preparations for Licht's false identity seemed to go smoothly. By presenting him as a slave, it seems one can register even after reaching adulthood. If he turns out to be unsuitable for training, they might sell him somewhere else. Hearing this explanation, although I accepted it, I couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable with the concept of slavery since it was a culture I was not accustomed to.
"As soon as I submit this, I will return, so I will join tonight's celebration. Oh, and you can invite Noah as well; he seems like he hasn't experienced this sort of thing before."
While Zaris helped him get dressed, Sergio kept informing me about various things.
"By the way, after submitting this application, you might start receiving tea party invitations or marriage proposals. For matters of selection and how to write those formal letters, ask Dior. You don't need to worry about her aesthetic judgment. Also, preparations for the debutante ball will be necessary."
Oh, suddenly marriage proposals? It can't be, right? Isn't it strange to suddenly propose a marriage to a seven-year-old child you haven't even met?
Shouldn't we at least meet a few times at tea parties to see what kind of child I am? Well, it's not certain if they will really come, so let's at least mentally prepare for some image training at tea parties. Although I had a slight foreboding about the phrase "debutante ball," my consciousness was being drawn towards wondering if I could get along with daughters from other families who were close to my age.
After speaking at a rapid pace, Sergio added this in conclusion.
"By the way, you might receive a letter from the royal palace as well."