The System Mistook Me for a Cat

"How could Dad possibly not want you just because you've gotten chubby? Chubby is so cute!"

"Meow meow..."

"Besides, your irregular eating habits have made you even chubbier... Oh, no need to translate that part, just tell him to eat properly!"

Chu Tingwu: "...Alright."

She translated for both the person and the cat. Boss Zong sat on the sofa, and Lizi hopped onto his knee, kneading softly while making gentle sounds. Boss Zong picked up the cat and showered it with kisses. Lizi's golden fur shimmered with a soft, warm glow in the light.

Lizi's renewed affection towards him, without any strange behavior, meant Boss Zong had essentially achieved his goal.

Chu Tingwu hadn't expended much effort, but he showed no hesitation in paying her. Boss Zong added, "I had considered inviting foreign pet communicators before, but their efficiency was too low, making me wait for over half a month... Little Chu solves problems quickly and accurately. Why don't you get a certificate? Not that you need one to work, but having it would make it more convenient for people to hire you in the future."

Teacher Wang: "No need for you to suggest that. I have a student who's quite knowledgeable in this area. If Little Chu is interested, I can make an introduction."

Teacher Wang had mentioned this briefly before, but at that time, they weren't as familiar, so it was more out of politeness.

Now, seeing Chu Tingwu communicate with the cat again, he vaguely recalled something and had some other thoughts, but for now, the task at hand was—

To catch that bird.

Boss Zong's house didn't have many blind spots in its surveillance. Chu Tingwu led them around the rooms for a few laps, then stopped at a corner of the courtyard and began reviewing the surveillance footage.

Scrolling back, they indeed spotted a bird in the footage. The humans quickly locked onto their target—a jet-black crow!

In the surveillance video, Lizi meowed a few times, and the crow on the roof coughed once before suddenly mimicking a cat's meow.

Lizi's voice changed from its original affectionate mewing to an irritated "Oww oww," while the crow, taking advantage of Lizi's confinement indoors, strolled around the lawn meowing, tugging at flowers, and scratching at windows. When the housekeeper came out, it simply flapped its wings and flew away, as if it had just come to tease the little cat.

Everyone: "..."

What's the point of all this?

Boss Zong laughed helplessly: "I'll have the housekeeper seal this area off and chase it away more often at night. If it happens frequently enough, it probably won't come back."

They couldn't actually arrest a crow, could they? On what grounds—"hurting a cat's feelings"?

Chu Tingwu walked around to the outside of the window, peering closely at where the crow had perched. After a while, she extracted a thin black feather from a crevice, likely left behind accidentally by the crow.

Apart from this, there were no other traces.

She bagged the feather to take with her and said goodbye to Lizi... but didn't get into Teacher Wang's car.

Teacher Wang: "Did you forget something?"

Chu Tingwu: "I want to try and find that crow."

Teacher Wang: "?"

She rubbed her chin, not explaining her reasoning... Crows that imitate other animals aren't uncommon, but a crow that could mimic a cat so precisely to annoy it would be considered an excellent student in cat language class. She wanted to show it to another cat language student, Zhang Youyi.

Hmm, might that be a bit too mischievous?

She took out the feather again and sniffed it, but the air was filled only with the scent of flowers. Finding a crow in the villa area based on just a feather would be too difficult.

So Chu Tingwu simply enlisted Three-Five-Five's help.

Three-Five-Five glanced at her human cub, then pressed her nose against the half-feather and sniffed intensely. The cat's nose twitched as she circled outside Boss Zong's house. Teacher Wang decided to get out of the car too, curiously watching their actions—

He knew that a cat's sense of smell was hundreds of thousands of times stronger than a human's, but his impression of cats was mostly like Lizi, just a pet kept at home. Was Little Chu trying to get the cat to find the crow? Could they really find it?

Following Three-Five-Five, Chu Tingwu and Teacher Wang walked all the way to the bank of an artificial river in the residential complex.

This high-end residential area was built around a small lake, with the developer creating an artificial river that drew live water from the lake. Across the lake was the foot of Zhangshan Mountain, considered a local attraction in Fallen Phoenix City.

Out of ten tourists visiting from other places, eight would climb Zhangshan Mountain, while the remaining two would at least take photos at the foot of the mountain to prove they had been there, lest they feel they'd wasted their travel expenses. Ironically, many locals who had lived here their entire lives had never climbed the mountain.

Three-Five-Five meowed once, and this time even Teacher Wang understood: "That crow came from Zhangshan Mountain?"

Chu Tingwu: "At least that's the direction it flew last time it left."

The higher peaks were shrouded in mist. Despite it being the summer holiday season, the number of visitors wasn't low, but from across half a lake, they could only see the flow of traffic on the mountain road.

The lake water had disrupted the scent trail. Three-Five-Five shook her head, clearly indicating that even if they reached Zhangshan Mountain, they wouldn't be able to find the crow's scent. A cat's sense of smell may be powerful, but it's not supernatural. Teacher Wang sighed, "Zhangshan's environment has been under management for over a decade, and it seems to be getting better and better. I recently saw news that someone spotted a wild pheasant on Zhangshan. It's now a national Grade II protected area..."

The girl beside him nodded silently, her gaze still fixed on the opposite shore of the lake. Teacher Wang suddenly noticed that from this angle, her expression was very similar to that of the cat called "Three-Five-Five" at her feet.

Some cats remain motionless as if poised to strike, their eyes containing the light of a predator, waiting quietly in stillness.

...And then there are some kitties that just plop down, content and a bit dazed after a full meal, capable of sunbathing for an entire day.

Chu Tingwu was more like the former, of course, she was human, not a cat.

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Teacher Wang paused for a moment, then spoke up: "Little Chu, I just thought of something."

Chu Tingwu turned to look at him, tilting her head slightly, waiting for him to finish his thought.

"Have you heard about the recent campaign that Fallen Phoenix City's Cultural and Tourism Bureau is promoting? The one called 'Walking and Singing in Fallen Phoenix City, Accompanied by Beauty'?"

"The publicity department has decided to hold various competitions under the theme of 'Seeking the City's Beauty,' including citizen submissions for promotional slogans, photography and videography contests, stories about inner beauty, and so on."

"The city's publicity office has decided to focus on 'harmonious coexistence between humans and nature,' and harmonious interactions with animals are a crucial part of that. They're planning to shoot promotional videos and are currently short on animal actors—Three-Five-Five seems quite intelligent, would you like to recommend yourselves for a try?"

It was evident that Teacher Wang had friends in the city's Cultural and Tourism Bureau as well.

Chu Tingwu didn't immediately agree, instead asking, "The promotion is to increase tourism revenue... but the reason why our city doesn't have many tourists—"

"Isn't it because there's simply nothing interesting to see?"

Teacher Wang: "...Ahem."

"And there are no iconic buildings or amusement facilities, no unique national or rare global attractions to draw people from far away."

Teacher Wang: "......Cough!"

System: "Cub! We could build a Dis*** theme park here!"

Chu Tingwu replied to the system intruding in her mind: "You've checked the price of Dis***, right?"

Then realized it was completely unaffordable.

System: "QAQ"

The system added building an amusement park to its to-do list, while Chu Tingwu responded to Teacher Wang: "If needed, I can bring Three-Five-Five, but I hope Three-Five-Five's role won't be that of a stray cat."

Cats might not understand promotional videos, but Chu Tingwu wouldn't let her cat play the role of a stray.

-

She still went around the foot of Zhangshan Mountain but didn't find the crow, so she had to return home.

That evening, after Chu Tingwu finished her classes and returned home, Teacher Wang called with some regret to inform her that they had already found cat actors, so they probably wouldn't need her to bring Three-Five-Five for filming.

After hanging up, Teacher Wang felt a bit helpless. The truth was, they were still deliberating between several cats and hadn't finalized the actors yet. But upon learning that Chu Tingwu was only fifteen years old, an underage cat owner whose guardian wasn't in the city, they became somewhat reluctant.

"Old Wang, it's not that I'm unwilling," the voice said. "Think about it. There are so many cats in the city, why do we need to specifically find a tortoiseshell? Is a long-haired tortoiseshell really prettier than a long-haired calico? Minors are also more troublesome. Although you've vouched for her, we'd still need a guardian's signature. If it was your own cat, I'd agree right away. Ah, it's really not my fault..."

Teacher Wang wouldn't curse "tasteless" like Yu Zhenzhen would. He calmly replied, "Old Zong thought the same way before. Why don't you ask him what he thinks now? That cat of hers is truly special. Actually, if you weren't short on actors, I'd quite like to recommend my junior sister Chu to act... Well, I'll go turn her down now. Don't regret it later."

Filming a city promotional video wasn't like entering the entertainment industry. It was more like becoming a semi-official city representative, which would be good for enhancing a young girl's resume.

Recently, the Cultural and Tourism Bureau had been promoting aggressively, truly wanting to achieve results. Wang Junxing was also doing this for his old friend's sake. Now that his friend was reluctant, he wouldn't force the issue.

Unexpectedly, the next day while he was eating breakfast, there was a sudden knock at his door.

His old friend stood there with a bag of tangerines, giving him an awkward smile. "Old Wang, how have you been lately?"

Wang Junxing: "?"

The friend made himself at home, squeezing through the doorway. He tossed the tangerines onto the sofa and invited Wang over as if he owned the place. "Have you seen this video? Come take a look, quick!"

Wang Junxing: "??"

His friend played a video on his phone. The scene showed aerial drone footage of what appeared to be the old town district in the east—though the old town was clearly in the city center, not far from the commercial street, it was like a stubborn disease on the city map, refusing to be eliminated, lying gray and dull on the map.

But the human and cat in the frame were like special colors on that map.

Wang Junxing recognized Chu Tingwu and Three-Five-Five just from their backs.

The girl ran forward, leaped suddenly, and landed on a railing. Then she continued jumping upward, easily reaching the roof of the second floor. Three-Five-Five followed beside her, moving in sync, neither too far nor too close. The cat's eyes seemed to be constantly watching the human next to it, adjusting its own speed, as if encouraging her to keep up and move forward.

As she advanced, the scene gradually took on different colors.

This seemed to be a video spliced from two angles, shot with two drones. The overhead view from the sky was like watching Chu Tingwu trace a path through the urban area with her feet, while the closer angle sometimes pulled back and sometimes zoomed in. The combined footage rotated slowly, and all the routes Chu Tingwu left behind were dotted with bright colors.

Wang Junxing also realized for the first time: the old town wasn't actually that dilapidated.

There were signs of life in the corners. The girl stepped across the roof of a bike shed, leaving behind a patch of bright lake blue. Wild flowers bloomed quietly in the corner of a wall, a pair of socks hung on dry tree branches, and a cat plush toy sat in the fork of a tree.

The scene was divided into two colors by her footsteps, with colors rapidly chasing the girl in front as she "parkoured."

Or rather, she was "parkouring" in the way a cat runs.

Teacher Wang had learned about parkour before, and many young people were curious about it too. It wasn't actually an extreme sport; many people confused parkour with rooftop stunts, but with proper preparation and enough training, it was actually a very safe activity.

It combined movements from many animals, the most important of which was the cat. Cats were natural parkour masters.

And Chu Tingwu, whether intentional or not, was 100% imitating a cat in her movements.

It wasn't until Chu Tingwu landed that Teacher Wang noticed the video was a full seven minutes long, and he had watched it all without fast-forwarding.

At the end, the girl leaped down from the rooftop. The cat beside her landed on all fours, while the girl only used her feet. The silk scarf tied to her arm flew up and fell with her landing motion. Wang Junxing looked closely and realized it seemed to be a square cloth from Teacher Zhang Youyi's family—reportedly taken to use as a bib for the cat.

The camera slowly descended, not capturing Chu Tingwu's face, only showing her standing there with the bustling, colorfully vibrant commercial street behind her. The scene darkened from top to bottom, and the unnamed music slowly faded away... His old friend sighed beside him.

"This video," he said, "was posted on a video account called 'Chu and Three-Five-Five.' I didn't turn on the comments just now, but actually, many people in the comments were asking where this place is. They want to come check it out, and some even want to try parkour themselves..."

The old friend smiled. "Old Wang, I remember the cat you recommended to me earlier was called Three-Five-Five, and its young owner's surname was Chu, right?"

Wang Junxing understood.

"Yes, the one doing parkour is my junior sister," he said helplessly. "You're not going to tell me you want to invite her cat for filming now, are you?"

His friend slapped the table, startling Wang Junxing, then blurted out:

"Come on, have some tangerines. I'll peel them for you!"

Wang Junxing: "..."

Actually, he didn't know, and his friend didn't say, that the video had gone truly viral. It was being frantically reposted to other platforms, that kind of viral. Before his friend came over, the official account of the Fallen Phoenix City Cultural and Tourism Bureau had also reposted it, claiming the parkour filming location as the old town district.

There were also students from Fallen Phoenix University of Technology, especially those who had provided the other camera angle for the system, excitedly claiming credit on social media platforms.

—True virality often has an element of chance. Cat videos might go viral, but they also have a limited audience. However, this parkour video edited by the system was different.

Not everyone keeps cats, but almost everyone has basic athletic ability.

Many reposts even erased the watermark, but with the Cultural and Tourism Bureau's official repost and claim, they conveniently bought a trending topic for #FallenPhoenixCityCatParkour#, and also boosted #FallenPhoenixOldTown# and #ChuAndThreeFiveFive# to lower positions, making it seem like a phenomenon-level video. It also brought tens of thousands of followers to Chu Tingwu's Fenghua Website account.

She had just slept for one night, and her follower count had doubled.

"Last night's refusal doesn't count," his friend said decisively. "Come on, let's talk. The bureau had an overtime meeting last night, and we came up with a great idea—"

Teacher Wang held a tangerine, listening expressionlessly, but as he listened, his eyebrows raised. "This... does seem to have some feasibility."

He clicked his tongue. "Didn't you say earlier that minors were too troublesome?"

His friend replied, "But she's your junior sister, Professor Zhang's student. Is she like other minors?"

Teacher Wang said, "Alright, alright. This child isn't very close with her family. If you've all agreed, I can sign as her guardian. But I'm just making the connection for you. If you back out again, I really won't be able to show my face. I'd get kicked out if I went to my teacher's house."

His friend exclaimed, "That absolutely won't happen!"

When Teacher Wang's call came through, Chu Tingwu was taking photos at the Fallen Phoenix Resort with her phone. She was surrounded by a circle of cats. This time she hadn't brought cat food; cats that finished being photographed could get a cat treat instead.

She sat on a small stool the resort owner had brought out, drinking a free beverage he'd provided, and even had a sun umbrella—many people driving by to go fishing or horseback riding nearby would stop to take photos when they saw so many cats, and then they might come in for lunch... They asked the owner if the cats were his, and he always gave vague answers. Chu Tingwu didn't expose the truth either.

"Last time I made cat food just to try if I could use this method of paying to hire stray cats to find other cats for photos, but making cat food is too troublesome and needs help from others," Chu Tingwu asked the system. "How's the data entry going?"

The system replied, "The university students are in a lot of pain... but they're also working very hard. Currently, 724 stray cats have been recorded in the app."

—Those two course credits weren't so easy to earn.

The APP isn't just about photographing 20 cats for two credits; it requires capturing 20 different stray cats. The campus cats were quickly snapped up by the fast-acting students, so they extended their search to familiar commercial streets, nearby residential areas, and even remote villages.

The activity group chat was filled with occasional wails of frustration. The system helpfully updated the stray cat map every hour, indirectly improving the students' efficiency.

The system seemed more excited than the students: "Kid, do you feel like an entrepreneur yet? Other kitties can't start businesses, you know. You're already ahead of 99% of cats in the world!"

Chu Tingwu: ... So what exactly are those 1% of cats?

She said: "But you're handling almost everything for the APP. I'm just the client. Besides, we haven't made any money from the APP yet, have we?"

The system countered: "Does entrepreneurship always have to be about making money?"

This question felt a bit too painful, and Chu Tingwu didn't know how to respond.

The system continued: "Entrepreneurship is an important life experience for a cat. Every experience is more valuable than money. The most important thing is the sense of achievement you gain... Plus, I can provide you with startup funds!"

Chu Tingwu: "..." She felt the system's real point was in that last sentence.

Teacher Wang's phone call interrupted the conversation between Chu Tingwu and the system. Although she had been rejected and then asked back, Chu Tingwu wasn't too upset—after all, she hadn't expected to be involved in filming a city promo video in the first place.

"But..." she asked, "Do I need to appear on camera too?"

-

They met on the second floor of a tea house in the antique-style street by the Guishui River. This was where Chu Tingwu had encountered Hang Ling, and it was close to her home, surrounded by familiar scenery.

Teacher Wang's friend was surnamed Zhuang, and could be loosely referred to as Director. Director Zhuang was somewhat chubby but looked muscular. Teacher Wang told Chu Tingwu that he had retired from the military.

There weren't just Director Zhuang present; his assistant and a middle-aged woman were also there. Director Zhuang introduced her as Xin Yu, the director in charge of filming the city promo video.

The meeting seemed quite formal. From the moment Chu Tingwu entered with Three-Five-Five, Director Xin's gaze had been fixed on her.

Director Zhuang had his assistant bring Chu Tingwu some fruit tea, then said: "Actually, we've been thinking about what Fallen Phoenix City's tourism promotional positioning should be—without iconic buildings or special attractions, how can we attract tourists from all over the country?"

Currently, there were two main groups of tourists: retired elderly people with money and energy, and young people who travel on weekends, thinking they might die from overwork any day and preferring to spend their money quickly, enjoying life one day at a time.

He looked into Chu Tingwu's eyes: "After seeing your video, we had an idea. We decided to target young people as our main tourist demographic."

Chu Tingwu poured some cold water for Three-Five-Five in the cup she brought, then repeated: "My video?"

The assistant showed Chu Tingwu the documents they had brought, while Teacher Wang sat next to her and explained: "Have you heard of the China Parkour Championship?"

Chu Tingwu: Never heard of it.

But Teacher Wang seemed to assume she knew: "The Parkour Championship was originally a civilian event, held multiple times a year and not very formal. In the past few years, it was mostly commercial in nature, with a performative aspect... In recent years, parkour has been applying to become an Olympic sport, so the competitions have become more standardized, but there isn't a fixed host city yet."

Parkour isn't a new sport abroad, but not many people practice it in China. Basically, only big cities have proper training facilities and venues, so Fallen Phoenix City certainly doesn't have any.

"The video you posted yesterday went viral and boosted Fallen Phoenix City's popularity, linking the city with the concept of 'parkour,'" Teacher Wang smiled, with a hint of pride and encouragement. "Last night, the Cultural and Tourism Bureau had an all-night meeting and decided to take a risk—"

They want to use "parkour" as Fallen Phoenix City's tourism promotion point.

They plan to officially host a national parkour competition, taking advantage of this promotional momentum to solidify Fallen Phoenix City's positioning and leave an impression on people across the country.

Moreover, they can use this opportunity to renovate the old city area, addressing a longstanding urban planning issue, potentially attracting new vitality and injecting a youthful new industry into this retirement city.

In some people's dreams, Fallen Phoenix City would have a new label, perhaps even becoming China's parkour mecca in a few years.

If Chu Tingwu is willing to cooperate with Three-Five-Five in filming a promotional video, then this video would be the starting point for the entire plan!

However, whether it can be implemented, whether it can truly be achieved, whether it can attract tourists, and whether it can make tourists feel welcome are all unknowns that depend on the cooperation of others... Of course, these issues don't concern Chu Tingwu. The young lady's job is simply to film the video, do parkour, and run well.

Chu Tingwu understood: "I'm willing."

Everyone else's expressions relaxed, and some people smiled.

Chu Tingwu: "But I don't know parkour."

Everyone: "...Huh?"

Chu Tingwu: "I mean, I've never actually learned parkour. What you saw... was just me running around following cats."

She was telling the truth. She didn't even know how to train for parkour. If she didn't say this now and it was exposed after the video was released, wouldn't that be embarrassing for everyone?

"You learned from cats?"

"Yes."

"Self-taught?"

"More or less."

"And you're that good?"

"Am I?"

Director Xin, who had been silent until now, made a decision: "It's you!"

She stood up and walked over to Chu Tingwu, taking her hand and saying: "Before parkour was invented, no one defined what it should look like. It's just a sport about moving quickly across different surfaces—why can't your way of running be parkour? Maybe your style could bring new possibilities to this sport?"

"Everything is new," she smiled, "Doesn't this align perfectly with our promotional goals?"

As everyone else left, Chu Tingwu quietly stayed behind to finish her fruit tea.

"New possibilities are probably impossible," she said to the system, "After all, my true jumping height exceeds the world record."

Her body wouldn't stand up to scrutiny either. If she were to display her extraordinary balance and jumping abilities, it would be too outrageous—so the running and jumping in her videos were appropriately restrained. Because she wasn't pushing her limits, it appeared effortless.

Chu Tingwu's true "parkour" form could only be seen by the system in the dream classroom.

She got up to leave with Three-Five-Five, but the cat didn't move. Instead, it leaped onto the eaves of the antique-style building outside the tea house and peered down.

Chu Tingwu: "Did you see something?"

Could it be that crow?

Three-Five-Five meowed, and Chu Tingwu also poked her head out, but what she smelled was a fishy odor.

...As well as the scent of other cats that had been here.

She sneezed, then leaned out of the window, supporting herself on the windowsill to look down. Finally, she discovered what it was: wedged between the eaves and the window was a pile of flattened dried fish, with cat hair stuck to them.

"Meow!"

Suddenly, an orange shadow leaped up to the second floor, its fur bristling as it stared at Three-Five-Five, demanding to know why they were approaching its... no, its dried fish!

Chu Tingwu recognized it... Wasn't this the orange cat that stole fish before, the one called Dawang? It had been neutered and released, and was now a "grandpa" cat.

Three-Five-Five retreated half a step in disgust, and Dawang's scolding quieted a bit. Chu Tingwu called Three-Five-Five back into the room, and Dawang finally stopped yelling. However, through the window, Chu Tingwu saw Dawang grab two pieces of dried fish and run away quickly.

She watched the orange shadow jump down, and heard a muffled voice from below—

"Oh, Dawang... bringing more... alright, here's this... fresh out of the pan... smells good..."

It did smell delicious. The freshly steamed pork bones hadn't been seasoned with any spices, yet their aroma wafted up to the second floor. They were certainly more valuable than the inedible dried fish.

...So this was where one of those 1% entrepreneurial kittens lived.