This Life, I Will Be the Protagonist

Chapter 78 Why Don't You Just Tattoo It on Your Butt?



Rick smiled politely as he entertained Zoey's "friend," but his heart sank. He could only hope that this person's **Insight** ability wasn't strong enough to see through the **Chameleon Teapot**'s disguise.

In the past, Rick had confidence in his good fortune, where everything always seemed to go his way. But after the events of the past year, even with his maximum luck stat at 10, he wasn't so sure anymore.

It wasn't until ten minutes of idle chit-chat had passed and Zoey escorted her guest out with a smile that Rick finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Zoey had hired this player with an **A-tier Insight** ability to scan Rick. The Lopez family had tried to recruit her multiple times, but she'd always refused permanent positions, only accepting one-off jobs. After learning about Rick's complete **Divine Gift**, Zoey understood why Rick had been so tense lately.

Anyone in his shoes would have been crushed—Rick was just more sensitive than most, and he'd managed to maintain his composure far better than expected.

When Rick had initially told Zoey about his dysfunctional **Divine Gift**, she'd thought he was exaggerating, but now she realized he hadn't been lying. Although it was unfortunate that four of his skills were unusable, Zoey quickly composed herself.

In a way, this limitation was a blessing—if Rick's **Divine Gift** had been fully functional, the Lopez family would have struggled to control him, and he might have used them as a stepping stone to greater power.

But **Skill 5** alone was enough.

Zoey hugged Rick, softly comforting him, and even apologized for not believing him earlier. After a heartfelt conversation, the couple grew closer.

Zoey told Rick to focus on improving his cooking skills. The Lopez family would prioritize equipping him with the best gear, and he would be able to join their dungeon runs.

After spending hours grinding dungeons, the Lopez family had already gathered a wealth of information, particularly regarding how luck worked in the game. It wasn't just about having a lucky player in the party; the key was for the person delivering the final blow to have high luck. That's what truly influenced the loot drops.

Zoey didn't want to force her subordinates to let Rick deal the final blow, as that would hurt morale. Instead, the best approach was to boost Rick's stats so he could contribute meaningfully, allowing his party to discover for themselves that his high luck led to better drops. Then they wouldn't mind letting him finish off the monsters.

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Rick, feeling touched, hugged Zoey and joked that he'd just live off her from now on, supporting the Lopez family's operations by handling logistics.

When it came to Zoey, Rick knew better than to display excessive pride. She preferred him obedient and humble, so he acted accordingly. If she wanted him to appear vulnerable and pitiful, he played the part. As a live-in son-in-law, he couldn't afford to have a backbone. If he tried to assert himself, the Lopez family could very well make sure he never stood up again.

---

Rita woke up that evening and immediately went to check on her cat bed in the backyard. The feeling of owning a rare treasure, always anxious that someone might steal it, was incredibly frustrating. She placed two bowls of meat soup outside and sent a message to Shadow.Q.

**[Rita]: Do you have any items that can bind objects?**

**[Shadow.Q]: Sure, **Binding Stone**, **A-tier**, I'll give you a friend price—100 gold per stone.**

**[Rita]: Isn't this the item that goes for 99 gold, 99 silver, and 99 copper on the auction house?**

**[Shadow.Q]: I'm only profiting by one copper, honestly. I'm giving you this deal because we're friends. Want it?**

**[Rita]: ...I'm looking for something that lets me bind an object but still allows others to touch it.**

**[Shadow.Q]: Is that even a legitimate item?**

**[Rita]: …Yes. Don't you want to make a commission?**

**[Shadow.Q]: **Tattooin' Ink** (B-tier). You can tattoo an item or piece of equipment onto your body as a temporary tattoo. Even if you're on Earth and the item is in Lania Kaia, you can summon it back. If someone steals it and puts it in their inventory, you can still retrieve it.**

**[Rita]: How much?**

**[Shadow.Q]: 38 gold.**

**[Rita]: Why is it so much cheaper than the **Binding Stone**?**

**[Shadow.Q]: Because it has a drawback. The tattoo is waterproof but not skill-proof. If the skin where the tattoo is located gets damaged, the item will automatically unbind and drop.**

**[Rita]: That's a pretty significant drawback.**

**[Shadow.Q]: Just tattoo it on your butt or something?**

**[Rita]: …Thanks for always managing to surprise me with these little gems of wisdom.**

**[Shadow.Q]: No problem. Hit me up if you need anything else.**

Rita sent 38 gold through the game's mail system and added one of the **Another Happy Day** skill crystals she had recently created. A short while later, she received a small box of black ink from Shadow.Q.

Rita headed to the backyard and shooed the cats away before pouring the black ink over the cat bed, as per the instructions. Despite the ink being just a few milliliters, it rapidly spread across the surface of the cat bed, covering it entirely.

Soon, the cat bed began to shrink, transforming into a tattoo-like sticker about the size of a coin, shaped just like the cat bed.

Rita picked up the sticker, and Shadow.Q's suggestion about where to place it popped back into her mind. She shook her head, horrified.

She didn't believe in the whole "the most conspicuous place is the safest" idea. Why flaunt your wealth when you could hide it?

Ultimately, she decided to place the tattoo over her heart. If that area was ever in danger, it would mean a life-or-death situation, and if she managed to survive, she could reclaim the cat bed. If she didn't… well, the cat bed would no longer matter.

Pressing the tattoo against her skin, she immediately felt a connection to the cat bed in a sort of pocket dimension. She summoned it back into existence and placed a cat inside. The cat rolled around before getting up and heading back out to eat.

Satisfied, Rita placed the bed back into its dimension. Looking down at her chest, she saw the tattoo was now a faint grayish mark, much lighter than when she first applied it.

Feeling much more at ease now that her precious item was secure, Rita still chose to hide the tattooed cat bed in a corner of the cat mansion, covering it with cushions and blankets.

As for the **A-tier Magic Eye**, Rita wasn't sure what to do with it just yet. Like the **Magician's Fake Tooth**, it required taking up a part of the body. While the fake tooth replaced a molar, the magic eye would need her to sacrifice one of her own eyes. It wasn't that she was particularly attached to her natural eye, but the magic eye's shady origins made it unwise to openly wear.

Glancing at the time, she realized it was already 2 a.m. For some reason, whenever it got to this hour, she felt incredibly energized. If she didn't do something, she wouldn't be able to sit still.

---

Rick had definitely noticed something was off. As soon as the game had launched, he checked his **Divine Gift**, hoping for some kind of miracle. Instead, he found a mysterious curse.

He didn't know what this "Unknown Curse" was, but the fact that it was contagious was enough to put him on high alert. When Zoey rushed off to plan with her family, Rick wasted no time. The moment she left the room, he used the **Chameleon Teapot's Shedding** to hide the curse from his status.

By dawn, Zoey had already organized teams for dungeon runs, while Rick distracted himself by practicing cooking in the kitchen.

He desperately wanted to get checked out, but after The Jones Family incident, Zoey would undoubtedly be monitoring his movements closely. He couldn't go to the hospital on his own, and there was no way he could trust his so-called brothers. If the test results could be used against him, that would be disastrous.

After weighing his options, he concluded that Samuel was the only one he could rely on. Earlier, when Rita had come over, he had wanted to ask her to take a blood sample back to Samuel. But she had been in such a rush that he hadn't found the chance.

Frustrated, Rick sent Samuel a private message through the game.

**[Rick]: Dad, what are you up to?**

**[Samuel]: Looking for a dungeon.**

**[Rick]: Can you come to the Lopez house?**

**[Samuel]: What's going on? Did something happen?**

Before Rick could respond, Zoey entered the room with a guest, introducing them as a "friend" she wanted Rick to meet.

But Rick knew exactly what was going on—this so-called friend was just there to **Insight** his **Divine Gift**. The "friend" excuse was merely a polite cover.


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