Utopian System

"No!" Aria almost tripped in surprise. "Mei too?"

"Mmhmm. Since he saved her during the battle with the artromus she can't hide it anymore."

"He saved me too and I'm not daydreaming!" Aria did a small turn smiling. "You think Elio has noticed those two yet?"

Valeria snorted. "Elio? The same one who thought Zara was sick when she blushed the first time he took her hand? It's more likely the trees will grow today."

"Speaking of which..." Aria looked toward where the sun was rising, indicating that in a few hours they should gather for another attempt. "You think today's the day?"

"With our luck, the trees will grow faster than the time it takes Elio to realize he has half the army in love with him."

"Val!" Aria laughed, but then her expression turned more serious. "Do you think we should talk to Lila?"

"And tell her what?" Valeria stopped at an intersection, watching how a group of children played without filters, something unthinkable just a year ago. "That she's not the only one? That she should be more obvious like Zara? Or more subtle like Mei or us?"

"I don't know..." Aria held her head in frustration. "But she's our friend. And lately she seems so... lost."

"What's lost is her ability to maintain composure," Valeria smiled affectionately. "You know what happened yesterday? Elio asked her number of students and she answered 'I like swords too.'"

"No!" Aria covered her mouth with her hands. "Really?"

"Word for word. Then she ran away so fast I think she used a wind impulse."

Both laughed, the sound mixing with the bustle of a city that each day looked less like the prison it used to be.

♢♢♢♢

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Lila woke up gasping, her body again 'wet' covered in sweat.

The same dream again.

She brought a hand to her chest, trying to calm her racing heart.

In her mind, the images were still too vivid: Elio approaching, his hands roaming her body with a gentleness that made her tremble... until suddenly he transformed into that beast, and just when that salamander tongue appeared...n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

"Ugh!" she covered her face with the pillow, mortified by the direction of her thoughts. Why did dreams have to be so illogical? Why couldn't they just...?

Her face burned at completing that thought. If only the Elio in her dreams would stay as Elio, if his caresses would continue without EmberG's silly face interrupting...

"Enough!" she scolded herself, throwing the damp sheets aside. She needed a bath. A very, very cold bath.

The water helped clear her mind, though she couldn't prevent her thoughts from returning to a certain leader every few minutes.

She had responsibilities, she reminded herself while dressing. A whole section of recruits depended on her for training.

"Focus," she told herself in front of the mirror, trying to adopt her best instructor posture. "You're a warrior, not a..." her reflection gave her an accusing look, "...not a girl who dreams about her commander transforming into a beast..."

The sigh that escaped her lips was almost as long as her list of reasons for avoiding Elio lately. But duty called, and the recruits wouldn't train themselves.

At least training would keep her busy. And hopefully, too tired to dream.

♢♢♢♢

Life unfortunately hits us at our worst moments... When she was heading to prepare today's practice targets...

Lila saw them before they noticed her.

Elio and Zara walked down the hallway, their shoulders occasionally brushing while discussing some city matter. The familiarity between them was like a knife in her chest.

'Breathe,' she told herself. 'Imagine they're just companions talking.'

But then Zara laughed, that musical and carefree sound that Lila had admired so much before, and her hand brushed Elio's arm with a naturalness that made Lila's stomach twist.

"Lila!" Elio noticed her first, his smile lighting up the hallway. "Just the person we needed to see."

'No,' she wanted to say. 'You don't need me for anything.' But instead, she forced a smile. "Good morning."

"We were discussing the new recruits," Zara explained, her arm finding its way around Elio's as if it belonged there. "Your group has shown exceptional progress in so few days."

'Of course they have,' Lila thought bitterly. 'I spend every moment training them to avoid having to see... this.'

"They just do their best," she responded instead, hating how small and weak her voice sounded.

"You're too modest," Elio praised her, and for a moment the warmth of his smile made everything else disappear. "Your dedication is admirable."

A treacherous blush rose to her cheeks. "T-thank you."

Zara took a step closer to Elio, a movement so subtle anyone else would have missed it. But Lila noticed.

She always noticed.

Wished it was her… so close. But Zara seemed impossible to surpass now...

'If something happened to her...' the thought formed before she could stop it. 'If she had an accident during a battle... if she disappeared...'

Horror at her own thoughts hit her like a slap.

What kind of monster was she?

Zara had been her friend, her companion. They had fought together, bled together.

"Are you alright?" Elio's voice brought her back. "You look pale."

"I'm..." her voice broke.

"Idiot, I told you you'd affected her more than you thought with your stupid experiment," Zara reproached Elio, "me too, although I..."

"I'm sorry! Really, but it wasn't on purpose I swear, it was..."

Lila interrupted. "I'm fine, it's not that... J-just forget it and let's not mention it anymore... I'm just tired."

Zara looked at her with genuine concern, and that only made it worse. How could she hate someone who cared so sincerely for her?

"You should rest more, we still have time," Zara suggested kindly, and Lila wanted to scream. Why couldn't she be cruel? Why couldn't she give her a real reason to hate her?

"I will," she lied, stepping back. "But later, I should go prepare for the next session."

"So soon?" Elio frowned. "It's barely dawn."

"Excellence requires dedication," Lila quoted, the words sounding hollow even to her. "Excuse me."

She walked away before they could respond, her steps accelerating with each meter she put between herself and the couple. Tears threatened to fall, but she held them back. She wouldn't cry. Not here. Not where someone might see her.

'I'm a terrible person,' she thought while turning a corner. 'A terrible friend. A terrible human being.'

But even as she hated herself for her dark thoughts, part of her kept imagining how it would feel to have Elio's arm intertwined with hers, sharing those casual smiles, those moments of stolen intimacy in empty hallways.

And she hated herself even more for it.

"LILA!" Aria's shout resonated through the hallway like a gale. "YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!"