Very Pure and Ambiguous: The Prequel

“Director Liu, you’ve also come to attend Xiao Zhao’s wedding? Come, let us have a drink!”

Seeing the busy scene in front, I became a bit absentminded. I stiffly raised my wine glass and downed everything. I was no longer sure of how many glasses I’ve drank. I was even unsure if what I just drank was beer, wine or even just water, I couldn’t tell from its taste, not to mention who had urged me to drink.

I glanced around as I sat down, reminiscence about every little moment I spent with Zhao Yanyan, she was once my goddess. Now I could only silently watch as she became another’s bride.

Zhao Yanyan and I were classmates from high school, and also sat next to each other. Zhao Yanyan was already the focus of the school, not only her grades were excellent, she was also very talented, and most importantly she was beautiful, and was crowned a school beauty by the students in private.

Although I sat next to her, but we didn’t talk much in reality, only a few words here and there, and they were all pointless chatter. I was rather introverted in high school. Of course, since my grades were bad, I wasn’t the kind of student that was adored by the teachers, I didn’t have much attention on myself and could be counted as someone whose existence didn’t matter.

I don’t know when it began, I fell deeply in love with Zhao Yanyan, perhaps it was just a crush. I enjoyed watching her silently, every movement, every expression. However, I never told her, because she had plenty of pursuers by her side, and all of them seemed to outclass me by far.

We went our separate ways in the second year of high school when the class split. She chose to study liberal arts, while I continued on with the sciences, sciences weren’t my specialty at the team, but I always feared a new environment, thus I stayed in the original class to muddle through.

After separating with Zhao Yanyan, I thought I could forget about this woman that appeared in my mind day and night, but I was wrong. My thoughts about Zhao Yanyan didn’t decrease, but increased by day, she completely became the target of my life.

I knew that Zhao Yanyan will get into the top universities in the country with her grades, if I wanted to continue seeing her, then I had to work harder. Under this empty drive, I spent my heart and soul on the txtboks in my final year, and grasped all of the knowledge I had left in the first and second year.

Finally, my results showed in the National College Entrance Examination, and I managed to enter the Huaxia University that was well known through the entire country. Under the joyous atmosphere of my parents at home, I knew, this was all thanks to Zhao Yanyan. If it wasn’t for my yearning of her, and finding out she would apply for Huaxia University, I wouldn’t have worked so hard.

When the students reported in, I was actually surprised to see that familiar figure. I haven’t seen her for a year, and Zhao Yanyan became even more beautiful. Although I didn’t look down on myself as much as before, but compared to Zhao Yanyan, I knew that I was not worthy of her. Which student at Huaxia University wasn’t an outstanding person during high school? Comparing my self to them, I had nothing to be proud of.

What surprised me was that Zhao Yanyan, who was a school beauty of Huaxia University, had never once had a boyfriend during the four years, there wasn’t a single rumour.

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It was evident during high school that Zhao Yanyan must have come from an excellent family. She had a personal driver to take her to and away from school. This was completely different from me whose parents were just workers.

During the four years of university, I kept trying to close the distance between her and I, I studied economics; studied politics; studied a lot of foreign languages; entered all sorts of clubs to improve myself, I became the ace of the basketball, football, swimming, Sanda, shooting teams, and represented Huaxia University to enter the national student competitions. It could be said that I was a completely different person during university compared to the cowardly Liu Lei in middle school, and had already become a bright star at Huaxia University. There were also a lot of girls who pursued me, but I couldn’t forget about Zhao Yanyan.

Perhaps it was due to my personality, I still didn’t confess to Zhao Yanyan, I was scared of failure, scared of being rejected, scared of losing this feeling that I had for all these years. From my perspective, although I didn’t confess to Zhao Yanyan, but it meant that I still had a chance. I didn’t want to easily waste this chance, so I still continued to improve myself, surpass myself.

After graduation, I was fortunate to get into the same company as Zhao Yanyan. Furthermore, I was still single, and so was Zhao Yanyan.

At the end of the year that I turned thirty-one, I finally climbed to the peak of my career, I became the CEO of the Huaxia region of the company. I knew that my long awaited chance had come, I was prepared to confess to Zhao Yanyan on Christmas, and tell her all of my feelings.

The proverb says that eight or nine out of ten situations don’t go your way in a lifetime.

On the day of Christmas, I ordered a bouquet of flowers at the florist early in the morning, and had also booked a room at Maxim’s Western Restaurant. I prepared to take Zhao Yanyan out for dinner, then find a suitable time to confess.

I walked into the office excitedly when the secretary Xiao Zhang handed me a pile of greeting cards. I smiled, it was great being CEO, even if you don’t send any greeting cards, other people will send them to you.

At the top of all of the greeting cards was an invitation, this was something that could be seen everyday. As the company’s CEO of the Huaxia region, I had to socialize every single day. I lazily picked it up and opened it, right after that, I felt the world spin around all of a sudden, as if I fell into a freezer. At that moment, my head was completely blank, this invitation was like a bolt of lightning on a sunny day that directly struck my chest.

Zhao Yanyan was getting married?! I suddenly felt like crying, but was unable to. What made me even unsure to laugh or cry was that the name of the groom was my assistant Xu Qingwei. He was getting married to Zhao Yanyan? Why didn’t I hear anything about it prior to this, I shook my head with a wry smile. Within this year, I had focused on my career, and rarely asked about other things. What was even more hilarious was that this Xu Qingwei was someone I had promoted from a manager of Public Relations when I became CEO, and the original assistant manager of Public Relations Zhao Yanyan was now the Public Relations Manager.

After a while, I finally calmed myself down. Since it never begun, then let it end.

I raised my wine glass, and wobbled in front of Zhao Yanyan and Xu Qingwei, then mumbled, “Xiao Xu, Xiao Zhao. I —— I wish you a harmonious unison for a hundred years, and have a child quickly!”

Xu Qingwei and Zhao Yanyan also raised their wine glasses, Zhao Yanyan smiled beautifully, then said, “Thank you Director Liu!”

I drank all of the wine in the glass and was about to return to the table, when I felt a sudden pain in the chest, and fell onto the floor.

Seeing me fall down, Xu Qingwei immediately shouted, “Call an ambulance quickly, Director Liu fainted, and his head is bleeding after hitting the corner of the table!”

Zhao Yanyan also quickly squatted and pinched my philtrum.

The ambulance quickly took me to the hospital , and very soon I was pushed onto the surgery table. I didn’t know why my mind was so clear at that point, but my body couldn’t move a single bit.

A doctor wearing a white coat looked at the machine beside the surgery table, and quickly told another person, “This is an alcoholic overdose causing the heart failure, use the defibrillator!”

Another person like a nurse immediately pressed the defibrillator against my chest.

“Raise the voltage!” the doctor in the white coat shouted.

The nurse pressed the defibrillator against my body once more.

The doctor in the white coat shook his head, and told the doctor, “It’s futile, give him a cardiac stimulant and ask him if he has any last words.”

Outside the surgery room, all of the employees of the company were waiting anxiously, the nurse ran out and asked them, “Which one of you is called Zhao Yanyan?”

Zhao Yanyan, who in a wedding dress, blanked out for a moment, then immediately ran over.

The nurse said to her, “The patient is not going to make it, he wants to say something to you.”

I opened my eyes with a lot of difficulty, Zhao Yanyan was already waiting beside me.

“Zhao Yanyan, I——I a single sentence, I always—— always wanted to say to you, Yanyan, I——I love—— you!” saying that last word, I left this world without any regret.

All of a sudden, Zhao Yanyan’s face filled up with tears, she lightly caressed the face of the person on the surgery table, no, it should be the face of the corpse, and murmured, “Liu Lei, if you told me these words slightly earlier, I would have married you at all cost——“