Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

Chapter 25: A Wider World

I sat on my bed, lost in thought. Tomorrow was the big day.

I’d put in a hard day in the mine, and Grim had dropped by partway through the day to announce that the [Engineers] were coming tomorrow. He had a big stash of the red vine, which was apparently called sparkvine, and the [Engineers] were providing the gunpowder plans.

Depending on the results of tomorrow’s test, Balin and I would be free.

It was hard to imagine. Well, I mean it was easy to imagine. Me in a brewery making sweet, sweet liquor. I purred a bit as I scribbled in the small notepad Grim had given me. I looked down and realized that I’d been doodling Barck’s name in the margins like a lovesick schoolgirl. Except with guns and little skulls and various other instruments of death.

I’ve caught myself doing that a lot recently, just… happily thinking about the casual murder and destruction of Barck and everything he loves. I love revenge as much as the next guy, but I’ve never had a deep-seated hatred like this. I wonder if it’s a dwarvish thing, or that I've simply never been screwed so hard before. I’m not sure, because so far all the dwarves seem to get over stuff with no real hard feelings. Either way, I'll try to deal with it, and just punch Barck metaphorically in the face when I finally get a chance to chat with a [Priest.]

Back to what I was doing. Looking at quests, and pondering a mystery.

Quest: An Ore-Able Time Part 2/10

You’re stuck in a prison mine! Are you willing to mine your way to freedom?

Collect: 200/200 Tonnes of Ore

Reward: +0.1 Strength, +0.1 Vitality

Accept Quest?

[Yes] / No

Quest Complete: An Ore-Able Time Part 2 Don’t you feel arm-azing?

Gained: +0.1 Strength, +0.1 Vitality

Quest: An Ore-Able Time Part 3/10

You’re stuck in a prison mine! Are you willing to mine your way to freedom?

Collect: 133.5/400 Tonnes of Ore

Reward: +0.2 Strength, +0.2 Vitality

Accept Quest?

[Yes] / No

Those were the basic Tiara quests, which made sense. Next came what I assumed was the first Barck quest. May he rot in the Nether.

Quest: The Mother of Necessity Part 1/10

You’re a broke prisoner! Can you create new uses for gunpowder to earn some gold?

Create: 1/5 Uses

Reward: [Quick Measure]

Accept Quest?

Yes /[No]

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I’d chuckled as I’d hit [No] on that quest earlier this evening. Eat shit, Barck. The little guy strikes back! Honestly though, I think the only person I’ll hurt by denying quests will be me. Don’t care, it felt great! I’ll probably accept any further quests from Barck in the future though. Maybe. I doodled some thorns and bloody knives in the margins.

Then had come what I assumed was the [Alchemist] quest… and a mystery. I read over it again and again, and I still couldn’t believe my eyes.

Quest: New Brew Part 1/10

The dwarves need your help. Influence 2,500 dwarves with your otherworldly alcohol knowledge.

Influence: 2500/2500

Reward: [Ingredient Scan]

Accept Quest?

Yes /No

What on Erd was this? A quest to make better beer? It was simply the most ridiculous thing I’d seen since I got here, and I’d seen a dwarf put a helmet on a rock to keep it safe.

Jack is really attached to his pet rock.

Anyway, this confirmed some of my suspicions and added some more. The Gods must be involved in my reincarnation here. I mean, obviously the Gods were involved in my reincarnation, but I meant in a more direct way. Some of the events and dwarves in this mining camp have really pushed me in a brewing direction, and now a quest like this? I… needed to think on it. I love alcohol and brewing, and it was my whole life back home aside from my family. However, I was kind of being forced into it here. On the other hand, a whole new world where every drink I make is new and exciting to everyone and I have the Blessings of the Gods to do it? That’s…

I shivered, whether from excitement or a bit of terror I couldn’t tell. I put down my notepad and laid down on my bed, deep in thought. I didn’t even notice when Balin came in, muttered something, and turned off the lights. I just continued to stare at the wall, thinking. I thought on new brews and Gods. I thought on Erd and Earth. I thought on beers and beards. I should have gone to sleep but my mind just wouldn’t stop. Deep into the morning I pondered, and in my soul, I slowly solidified my answer.

You know what? If the Gods wanted me to brew beer, FINE. I should be dead, and I was being given another opportunity to spend hundreds of years doing what I loved. So, thanks Gods! I’ll do your beer quest! I’ll influence every dwarf on this planet if that’s what it takes! You guys may be pushy assholes, but you’re not all that bad.

Except you Barck, go eat goatshit.

I went to click on ‘Yes’ and paused at another thought. There were about 50 or so dwarves in the camp… So why did it say 2500 dwarves were already influenced? I mentally hit ‘Yes’ while I considered the problem.

Quest Complete: New Brew 1 Great Work!

Gained: [Ingredient Scan]

I was about to check out [Ingredient Scan] when another quest appeared.

Quest: New Brew Part 2/10

The dwarves need your help. Influence 5,000 dwarves with your otherworldly alcohol knowledge.

Influence: 5000/5000

Reward: +0.1 Perception, +0.1 Vitality

Accept Quest?

Yes /No

Wait? I'd influenced 5000 more dwarves? What was going on? I hit ‘Yes’.

Quest Complete: New Brew 2 Great Work!

Gained: +0.1 Perception, +0.1 Vitality

Quest: New Brew Part 3/10

The dwarves need your help. Influence 10,000 dwarves with your otherworldly alcohol knowledge.

Influence: 10000/10000

Reward: +0.2 Perception, +0.2 Vitality

Accept Quest?

Yes /No

I started to rapid fire ‘Yes’ as a bit of panic began to set in. I’d never left this prison! How had I influenced thousands of dwarves?!

Quest Complete: New Brew 3 Great Work!

Gained: +0.2 Perception, +0.2 Vitality

Quest: New Brew Part 4/10

The dwarves need your help. Influence 25,000 dwarves with your otherworldly alcohol knowledge.

Influence: 25000/25000

Reward: +0.2 Perception, +0.2 Vitality

Accept Quest?

[Yes] /No

Quest Complete: New Brew 4 Great Work!

Gained: +0.2 Perception, +0.2 Vitality

Quest: New Brew Part 5/10

The dwarves need your help. Influence 50,000 dwarves with your otherworldly alcohol knowledge.

Influence: 50000/50000

Reward: +0.5 Perception, +0.5 Vitality

Accept Quest?

[Yes] /No

Quest Complete: New Brew 5 Great Work!

Gained: +0.5 Perception, +0.5 Vitality

Quest: New Brew Part 6/10

The dwarves need your help. Influence 100,000 dwarves with your otherworldly alcohol knowledge.

Influence: 34,435/100,000

Reward: [Carbonate]

Accept Quest?

[Yes] /No

I was hyperventilating a bit at the end. The count restarted from zero, so... ninety… one hundred… six thousand… ONE HUNDRED TWENTY SIX THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE DWARVES?!? I almost yelled out loud and then remembered it was way too early in the morning for that. How had I influenced that many dwarves without even leaving the prison!? Was this some kind of ‘Truman Show’ shit, and I was actually in a soap opera or on reality TV? It would explain so much, but no, that couldn’t be it. More likely my radler had made it out into the wild somehow. Maybe Grim talked about it outside, or Doc Opal, or heck, even Speaker John.

The sweet embrace of sleep called to me. Now that I had made the important decisions, I could worry about the number conundrum later. I took one last moment to look at my new Milestone and my massively updated status screen.

[Ingredient Scan]

An alchemist often needs to forage for their own ingredients, whether in a field or a market. When you use [Ingredient Scan] you can scan a 200-meter zone around you for a particular ingredient. If any amount of the selected ingredient is present, you will learn its exact location and amount. This ability can be used once a minute.

Status: Provided by the Firmament

Name: Peter Phillips Samson Age: 49         

Conditions: None

Race: Dwarf

Blessings: [Flesh to Stone], [Flash of Insight], [Strength of All: Held], [Regeneration]

Title: [Alchemist]

Milestones: [Outworlder], [Power Pick], [Ingredient Scan], [Stabilize Mixture]

Strength 15.2

Vitality 17.1

Agility 11

Dexterity 11

Wisdom 13

Intelligence 12

Perception 15.1

Charisma 11

Huh, my birthday passed. Happy Birthday to Meeeee.

I was slowly starting to feel like some kind of Olympic athlete with my massive vitality. I hope that means more hit points or whatever analog to it exists in this crazy world. My strength still couldn’t hold a candle to Wreck. I wonder why my charisma is still so low. I wonder why Barck sucks so much?

What if something goes wrong tomorrow? I hope Sam wins his bet and I don’t die somehow. I wonder what the [Engineers] are like? How does Bran keep his beard so well groomed in the kitchen? Will I like Minnova? Will I fit in? [Carbonate] looks pretty amazing if it is what I think think it is. Maybe I should have accepted Barck's quest...

Plagued with thoughts and concerns about a suddenly wider and stranger world, I fell into fitful sleep. Today was the big day!