I (30), Who Works for a Black Company and Died While Regretting My Gloomy Life, Started Over From High School!

Chapter 154: Thawing Snow, and the End of Roles

Honestly, I cant stay silent anymore.

Huh?

Springing forward towards Haruka, tears glistening on her cheeks, I began.

I understood the feelings of the adult Haruka. However, every bit of it was unbearable to hear.

I understand that you were feeling cornered, but whats with this talk? Saying you have no charm, no value Thats just not something I can let slide.

But but thats the truth, isnt it?! Because Im uninteresting, I couldnt make any friends, nothing ever went right!

What a load of nonsense!!

My voice, fueled by anger, left Haruka stunned.

But honestly, I couldnt contain myself.

To belittle Haruka, the girl I love the most in the worldeven if she herself did itI just couldnt allow it.

Alright, Im going to list out all of your good points. So brace yourself.

Eh?

Haruka, still with moist eyes, now tinged with embarrassment, stammered.

But it was too late. I had to keep going.

Ill start with how kind you are. Even to a gloomy, introverted guy like me, youd speak kindly without any bias. In a school where most students would look down on someone like me, you treated everyone equally You were practically a saint.

I remembered those scenes from our high school days, where Haruka and I were both library committee members.

This girl, with all the traits that society admires, never once looked down on others. She exuded warmth.

Your thoughtfulness is astounding. Youd spend time tidying up the library books, considering the next person whod pick them up. Even during clean-up or any other committee work, youd give it your all for someone elses sake. And yet, you gain nothing from being so meticulous.

Even when she began to get lost in her own problems, Haruka never forgot her kindness and consideration. She believed that doing something for others was a good thing something she naturally understood.

Your purity allows you to find joy in the simplest things. Just finding a beautiful flower on the roadside or enjoying a convenience store snack would light up your face and seeing that makes me happy too.

Uh, um Nii Niihama?

Haruka, still with glistening eyes, timidly spoke up.

But Im not done yet, Haruka.

Ive barely scratched the surface.

Youre incredibly diligent and hardworking! No matter how difficult something is, youll put in the effort to overcome it. I really admire that! And you have this knack for being both air-headed and clumsy in a charming way. Watching you, I feel all warm and fuzzy! And, above all, your smile is beautiful! Its like the beauty of your heart blooming into a flower, captivating anyone who sees it!

Um, w-wait! Please wait!

Embarrassed and reddening, Haruka interjected.

But shes not getting away that easily.

Ive always watched over this girl named Haruka Shijouin. Especially in the second round, unlike the introverted high school days, I was overwhelmed by the charm of the angelic girl before me.

Andnow, the adult Haruka standing in front of me, at her core, hasnt changed at all. Shes just struggling with herself, still the same as back then.

Thats why I cant accept it.

That the beautiful existence known as Haruka Shijouin is being denied by none other than herself.

Its not because Shijouin-san lacked any charm that she couldnt grasp anything until now. It was simply a lack of opportunities, a mismatch of gears. You said Shijouin-san isnt ordinary, but this is normal. It might vary in degree, but everyone experiences this feeling of inadequacy at some point.

This is a completely assured statement.

Because I knew the Haruka who made friends and enjoyed school life.

A person who had no charm from the start couldnt possibly seize the youth they wished for, no matter how much I intervened.

So please, believe in yourself!

My words, bursting with heartfelt fervor, were more desperate than I realized.

It really ticks me off and breaks my heart that youd blame yourself so much, Shijouin-san! Please, just stop it!

Niihama kun

Before I knew it, my eyes were brimming with hot tears.

The fact that this incredibly charming Haruka was cursing herself so vehemently, it was painfully sad. I couldnt help but let my emotions get the better of me.

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The girl named Haruka Shijouin is the most wonderful girl Ive ever met!

With a searing emotion welling up from the depths of my heart, I yelled with every ounce of my being.

IHaruka Shijouinstood frozen in astonishment.

Niihama, who had shown the most emotions since we reunited, displayed both anger and sorrow in response to my self-deprecating words. He affirmed my existence with a voice brimming with fervor.

Niihama-kun

I couldnt fathom why he was expressing such strong emotions.

But in Niihamas words, which dug up even things I had forgotten, I could only feel an overwhelming sincerity, filled with an intense passion.

He was affirming me from the depths of his heart.

(To think of me like this)

A tear formed in the cracks of my parched and shattered heart. The kindness directed towards me was so sweet, like a warm rain, soothing my yearning.

Even I realized that my heart was responding to his words.

In that instant

(Ah)

Memories from last nights dream flashed before me. The scene, which should have been a mere figment born from my unconscious mind, where my heart warmed as Niihama affirmed me, shook my emotions even more intensely.

You said you were looking forward to the cultural festival with the whole class

So Ill ask you again. Would you exchange email addresses with me?

So please, rest assured. Ill protect both that dream and that happiness. I promise Ill make you happy, Shijouin-san!

Ill be counting on you from now on, Haruka.

Those were definitely not my memories. They were events that I hadnt experienced, mere products of imagination.

Yet, the presence and words of the Niihama before me resonated so strongly with the Niihama in my dream that the sense of reality became hazy.

It was as if the youth we spent together actually existed.

(Ah, yes Shinichirou-kun always cared about me)

For just an instant

I was flooded with emotions whose source I couldnt identify.

It felt like the feelings of a stranger were flowing back, and incredibly ancient memories resurfaced.

Ugh Aaahhhhh!

Before I knew it, I was shedding large tears.

Why was my chest tightening so much? Why were sadness and joy mixing into this messy jumble of feelings?

I had no idea.

But there was one thing I was absolutely certain of, from the depths of my heart.

(He thinks about me)

I stared at Niihama, who seemed flustered by my sudden sobbing.

(Hes shouting his feelings from the bottom of his heart that I have value)

Even if only one person like that existed here, it filled the vast emptiness in my heart.

In this overwhelming sense of being saved from the core, I wiped away my dampened cheeks.

The future you idealized wasnt like this, was it!

Suddenly, the words of my high school self from the dream echoed in my mind. It was a painfully accurate hit that I had tried so hard not to think about.

If thats the casewhat kind of future did I envision?

I wanted

What I longed for. What kind of adult did I want to become

(I wanted to like myself no)

Yes, in the first place

(I wanted someone to strongly tell me that my inner self was likable. And by doing so, I wanted a life where I didnt hold onto self-loathing.)

Not from family or anyone close, but from someone outside that circle, I wanted them to genuinely affirm the inner me as an individual.

To say, with unwavering sincerity, You, as a person, have worth.

(Ah)

Ah, even I find myself being so direct and earnest.

The pitch-black mass that had settled in the depths of my heart was melting away.

It was incredibly solidified, and Niihamas words and the fervor contained within them they were freeing my heart from years of torment.

The need to continue being an adult, enduring pain to maintain my existence it had disappeared entirely.

I, Shinichiro Niihama, was drenched in cold sweat.

I poured out everything I had to say to the mature Haruka in front of me. She fell silent for a moment, then suddenly tears welled up as if she had been deeply moved.

I panicked, thinking I might have messed up, but

Do you think its okay to be saved like this?

Haruka, after wiping away her tears, looked like she had just exorcised a demon. While her emotions still seemed unsettled, the gloomy shadow that was there before was now nowhere to be seen on her face.

Because of the words of the Niihama I reunited with just yesterday, Im trying to let go of something Ive stubbornly held onto. Is it really the mark of a true adult to change their beliefs so easily?

Its definitely the right thing to do.

I asserted immediately.

Ive been living foolishly for so long, I can say that with confidence. If what Ive been doing is in the wrong direction, then no amount of effort will do any good. So, its important to think if the path youre walking now is the right one. Otherwise, when you fall into a pit, you might never get out.

Yes I can see it now. The world looks so different from just a while ago. Feeling this bright and clear I can truly feel that its right for me.

With those words, Haruka beamed with a smile.

There was no shadow left, and her radiant smile was like a sunflower blooming under the sun.

Her beautiful smile, unchanged from our high school daysthere it was.

As Niihama-kun said Im going to reevaluate how Ive been living. Ill talk to my parents properly and start walking in the direction I truly desire.

(Ah)

I was overwhelmed with relief, convinced that the adult Haruka had been completely liberated from her curse.

Thank goodness I mean, really

Niihama-kun.

Eh

I suddenly realized that Haruka was standing right in front of me, displaying a bright smile with her perfected beauty.

(Uwaaah shes still too beautiful Shed stand out like crazy in a university or workplace)

Having accomplished this mission that was far too challenging, I was finally released from tension, and I was purely captivated by Harukas goddess-like figure.

Until now, she had an air of a sorrowful widow, which led to a sense of pity taking precedence. But her childlike, bright smile against this adult beauty was unbelievably cute.

Thank you, Niihama-kun. For not giving up on someone like me.

With a smile brighter than the surface of the sunlit water, Haruka voiced her gratitude.

Tears, this time with a different meaning in her eyes, glistened, making her look even more lovely.

At that moment, I burned this scene into my memory

(Ah)

Suddenly, my vision blurred and my footing became unsteady.

It was like I was underwater, enveloped in a floating sensation.

(Ah, I see)

Although I was surprised, it was something I had expected.

In other words

(Its over. My role is finished.)

I had completed my mission.

Even this time leap, which was based on nothing but speculation and my hopes, seemed to have been the right choice given the current situation.

I couldnt see or hear anything anymore.

In the midst of my perception fading, even self-awareness becoming vague

A sound, like the ticking of an old clock, echoed in my mind

TLN: Working on the queue right now, having a bit of issues with it but I hope it clears up as I work. If you want to read ahead, join the Ko-fi!