I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick

Chapter 50: Family Planning

“On the subject of girls that might join our family, have you talked to Kaia, Ino, Sakura, and Hinata yet? I’m sure Kaia would be more than happy to become your bride.”

Shaking his head, Wu asserted, “While I’m sure she would want to be my woman, her loyalty lies with the Inuzuka. Besides, if she were the type of woman who would abandon her path for sexual gratification, she wouldn’t be my number one subordinate…”

Since she had only spoken to Kaia a few times, Tenten didn’t question Wu’s understanding of the exceptionally spirited Inuzuka. Instead, she asked, “And what about the others? I know you spoke with Hinata before you left last time. Things have calmed down a bit between them, but her relationship with Naruto remains…tenuous.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu revealed, “It will either be her or her sister. The ‘powers that be’ within Konoha still want to tie me to the village, and the only prominent Clan with two female members of significant status is the Hyuga. As for Ino and Sakura…unless the former forfeited her status as the Yamanaka heiress, she can’t marry me ‘or’ Sasuke. Whoever ends up with her would need to be adopted into her Clan, so she’s in a pretty sticky situation, politically speaking.”

“And Sakura…?”

Suppressing a chuckle, Wu mused, “Sakura is Sakura. She let herself be wrangled into Ino’s antics, but her obsession with Sasuke is clinical. She was bullied due to her hair color and enormous forehead, and Sasuke just happened to be the first boy to tell her she was cute. Since then, she has effectively brainwashed herself into loving him…”

Smiling wryly, Tenten remarked, “Yeah…it would take something pretty drastic for that girl to give up her obsession. I just figured I would ask. You know, considering the things the four of you did together…”

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Making a very ‘meaningful’ gesture with the fingers of his right hand, Wu teased, “Just say the word, and I’ll expand your horizons broader than you could have ever imagined…”

Though a faint blush colored her cheeks, Tenten rolled her hazel eyes and remarked, “Yeah, yeah. Considering your skills, not to mention your ability to alter your size, I’m sure you’re a little monster in the bedroom. I’ll judge your performance when you’re rewarding my efforts. I’m not just going to ask for it, and you shouldn’t get too carried away while ‘playing’ with other women.”

Nodding his head, Wu replied, “I’ll keep that in mind.” before eating a few pieces of grilled meat and asking, “What do you have planned for the rest of the day? I still need to speak with the old man, but I can come over to your place once everything’s been wrapped up.”

Adopting a smile, Tenten gave Wu the impression she was going to say yes, so he was a little surprised when she said, “I don’t think Gai-sensei would mind, but we’re supposed to be practicing coordination as a Team right now. I want to say yes, but it would be pretty selfish of me to skip out on a prior commitment.”

Instead of being bothered by Tenten’s words, Wu returned a smile and playfully remarked, “Yet another reason I chose you over everyone else. Relationships might be a compromise, but compromising your integrity to pander to someone else leads to moral decline. You’re making the correct decision.”

Rolling her eyes, Tenten gave a playful retort, inadvertently embarrassing herself as she responded, “Gee, thanks, dad…I’m ‘so’ happy to have your approval…”

Narrowing his eyes in amusement, Wu waited for Tenten to go completely red in the face before sending her over the edge as he whispered, “I don’t mind if you call me Daddy…”

Fortunately, they were in a private, decently soundproofed room…

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Preempting Hiruzen’s summons, Wu made his way to the Hokage tower with a bit of pep in his step. As paradoxical as it sounded, the more time he spent ‘away’ from Konoha, the more it felt like home. At the very least, he had good food and an even better woman to welcome him back upon his return.

Since they could tell Wu was headed to the Hokage’s Tower, none of the ANBU that had been keeping an eye on him bothered to interfere with his walk. Instead, they gave him a wide berth as, shortly after the rumors of Saiko Dadi began to circulate, Hiruzen placed an S-Rank information block on all information related to Wu. As such, he now had a status comparable to a Jinchuriki within the Village Hidden in the Leaf.

And rightly so…

Upon reaching the Hokage’s Tower, Wu didn’t have to wait long before the middle-aged receptionist informed him that the Hokage was ready to see him. This time, Wu entered through the door proper, briefly stunning the elderly man before he quickly composed himself, adopted a grandfatherly smile, and said, “Welcome back, Wu-kun. Based on the numerous rumors circulating about, I take it you thoroughly enjoyed your trip outside of the village?”

Returning a smile of his own, Wu replied, “There were a few hiccups here and there, but, overall, it was pretty fucking awesome. The Two-Tails was a bit of a disappointment, but Raikage was a lot stronger than I expected. I ended up giving him one of my peaches after blowing a hole through his chest and lung. A twenty-year one.”

Though his left eye twitched when Wu casually mentioned giving one of their greatest enemies one of his peaches, Hiruzen didn’t chastise or try to lecture him. Wu was the only one who could cultivate the mystical fruit, so the only person who had any say in who he gifted them to was himself. With Wu’s consent, he had given his own peach to their R&D Department, but the mysterious fruit ended up shriveling the moment they pierced its skin…

With a noticeably wry smile, Hiruzen gestured across from him, saying, “Please, take a seat. We have much to discuss, and I’m sure you’d prefer to get it over with quickly.”

As instructed, Wu took his usual perch atop empty air before recounting everything Hiruzen ‘needed’ to know about his journey outside the village. This included the information related to Orochimaru, the invasion, and the fact that Tayuya was working as his double agent. What he didn’t disclose were the specifics of his encounters in Kumo, the headway he made with the Kazekage’s daughter, and his ever-expanding ambitions for the future.

After hearing everything Wu had to say, Hiruzen needed a few minutes to process everything, his silvery-grey eyes staring off into the distance as he softly inquired, “Have you reconsidered your decision about whether or not you will accept the Hokage position? You’re still young, but I can think of none better suited to wearing the hat…”

Shaking his head, Wu reminded, “We had an agreement, old man. You let me do what I want, and I make sure that Konoha’s enemies pay the price if they have aspirations for the village. If you’re really desperate to be rid of the hat, give it to the melon girl. Considering I saved her from being an infertile husk, she owes me—you cheeky little monkey.”

Seeing the glimmer that flashed across Hiruzen’s eyes the moment he mentioned the last of the Senju, Wu’s gaze narrowed as he asked, “Don’t tell me that woman finally ‘came to her senses.’ Besides, is she the apple of your favorite apprentice’s eye? Jiraiya gave me some excellent…advice when I was younger. Even I would feel a modicum of guilt if I snatched up the woman he had been aiming at for forty years…”

Though he gave a sagely nod, Hiruzen pointed out, “That’s the issue. It’s been forty years, Wu-kun. Twenty-five since Tsunade’s lover, Kato Dan, was killed in battle. At this point, both Jiraiya and Tsunade need to move on with their lives. Tsunade has proposed donating her egg cells, but the political ramifications of such an act…I get a headache just thinking about them…”

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu asked, “So, what do you want me to do? Try and seduce a woman more than four times my age? She might resemble a teenager in her true form, but she’s still a temperamental granny hellbent on wiping her ass with the legacy of the Senju.”

Exhaling a sigh, Hiruzen turned his chair to the side, once again staring off into space as he softly asserted, “You’re the only one I can trust with this matter, Wu-kun. The Council is well aware of Tsunade’s ‘revitalization’ and have been pressing for the emergency enactment of the Clan Restoration Act. There is nothing they can do to force the matter, but I’m certain that Tsunade feels at least some obligation to restore her Clan…if she is going to be forced into a decision, I would rather he be with the one responsible for her revitalization than someone hand-picked by the Council…”

As it didn’t truly matter to him, Wu decided to get to the heart of the matter, asking, “So, instead of permitting me to create a Clan of my own, you want me to marry into the Senju? That would certainly achieve your goal of ‘tying’ me to the village, but there are just a few major problems with that…”

Understanding what Wu was referring to, Hiruzen remarked, “The other girls you have set your sights on…”

Nodding his head, Wu appended, “Tsunade is a proud woman. Even if she feels indebted to me, do you genuinely believe she would accept being in a harem? It might make things easier for her, but I can’t really imagine her getting along with women half or even a quarter of her age.”

Though he could see where Wu was coming from, Hiruzen responded, “I have considered that. That takes me back to what I said previously, about Tsunade willing to donate her egg cells…”

Realizing what Hiruzen was getting at, an understanding, “Ah…” emanated from Wu’s throat. If Tsunade simply donated her eggs and permitted their implantation into surrogates, the fate of the Senju would fall squarely into the hands of the Council. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, from a purely objective point of view, but it was virtually guaranteed that some of Tsunade’s eggs would go ‘missing.’ The autonomy of the surrogates would also need to be restricted as it was only a matter of time before potential successors of the Senju began clashing over their birthright at the behest of people who would see them as puppets…

Understanding Hiruzen’s intentions, Wu remarked, “So, what you’re really asking me is to ‘protect’ Tsunade and the legacy of the Senju by allowing her to use ‘my’ women as surrogates. That way, she wouldn’t be forced to marry, and she could essentially live as she pleases while others bear the burden of her legacy…not a terrible plan.”

Feeling gratified by how quick Wu was on the uptake, a smile developed across Hiruzen’s face as he replied, “I’m glad you think so. However, there is one thing you’re overlooking, young Wu…”

Seeing Wu raise his brows in suspicion, a mischievous twinkle appeared in Hiruzen’s eyes as he elucidated, “You will need to marry Tsunade, making you the de facto Patriarch of the Senju. She might be resistant to the idea at first, but now that her body has reverted to that of a teenager, she will doubtlessly have ‘needs.’ Tsunade isn’t a promiscuous woman. Once you marry, you become the only person she can depend on to ‘alleviate’ such urges…”

Unable to contain himself, a wolfish grin developed across Wu’s face as he remarked, “You perverted monkey. Just how much time have you spent thinking about your female disciples getting it on? You better pray I never catch you spying on us with that crystal ball of yours…”

Though he might have tried if Wu was an ‘ordinary’ Shinobi, Hiruzen was being sincere as he said, “I would never. Tsunade is like a daughter to me, and I regard you as my grandson. Once this arrangement has been made, I have no intention of meddling in your personal lives. I would, however, like to see at least one successor to the Senju bloodline before I breathe my last…”

Since Hiruzen’s death would inconvenience him quite a bit, Wu had no qualms about giving the man a thumbs up and saying, “Leave it to me. I still have no intention of accepting that hat, but I can promise you’ll have more ‘grandchildren’ than you know what to do with.”

As he had no doubts about Wu’s ‘capabilities,’ Hirzuen exhaled one final chuckle, saying, “Thank you, Wu-kun…” before eventually releasing the ever-dependable boy from his office…

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(A/N: You guys have no idea how long it took to come up with a ‘proper’ justification for Tsunade being a potential member of the MC’s harem xD…)