I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick

Chapter 51: Is this the Legendary ‘Springtime of Youth?’

With Tenten informing him she would be busy the rest of the week, Wu intended to get some serious training done back at the Sarutobi Estate. The morning after his meeting with Hiruzen, however, the front gate and walls of the estate were punched through by a 158cm tall blonde with a ponytail, prominent bangs framing her face, brown eyes, and a massive rack, shouting, “Sarutobi Wu! If you don’t get out here right this instant, this whole house is coming down…!”

Emerging from the manor’s interior, Wu had his brows raised as he asked, “What’s up?” despite knowing full well why the deceptively young-looking woman was present.

Instead of answering Wu’s question, Tsunade attempted to grab him by the collar, failing several times in a row before shouting, “Stand still so I can grab you…!”

Raising his hands in a gesture of mock surrender, Wu allowed Tsunade to grab his collar. He also permitted her to drag him to a secluded section of the estate, an unperturbed expression on his face as he looked up at the sky and remarked, “Quite the weather we’re having…”

Planting Wu on his feet, Tsunade glared at him with all the ferocity of a cougar, her right eye twitching as she asked, “Care to venture a guess as to where I just came from?”

Without missing a beat, Wu replied, “All things considered, you’re either returning from a meeting with the old man or a significant losing streak at the gambling quarter. Either way, I’m not sure why you’re angry with me, of all people.”

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With an ‘are you serious’ expression on her face, Tsunade suppressed the urge to bury Wu into the ground, proclaiming, “You’re a real piece of work, you know that? Why didn’t you refuse when the old man asked if you were willing to inherit the duties and responsibilities of the Senju Clan? You’re young enough to be my grandson…!”

Spreading his hands in an expression of helplessness, Wu retorted, “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had grandchildren. As for why I refuse? It’s because the arrangement benefits everyone, you most of all. You don’t want the responsibility of having children, but you also-”

Interrupting Wu’s explanation, Tsunade began massaging her forehead as she muttered, “Of course, it’s like this…you always were the type that put too much thought into everything…”

Exhaling a tired sigh, Tsunade met Wu’s gaze with a serious expression as she asserted, “Listen, brat. I know you’re trying to ‘help,’ but you did more than enough by giving me that peach. You don’t need to involve yourself in this matter any more than you already have. Just enjoy your youth, and have fun, okay? You’ll only understand how precious it is once it’s gone…”

Though he ‘appreciated’ the sentiment Tsunade was trying to convey, Wu crossed his arms and adopted a serious expression of his own as he flatly replied, “I refuse.”

Blinking in surprise, Tsunade tilted her head slightly to the side and asked, “I beg your pardon…?” in audible confusion.

Maintaining his stance, Wu asserted, “You’re a good woman. I wouldn’t have agreed to the old man’s proposal if you weren’t. If I have the choice between letting you fall into the hands of another man or claiming you for myself, even if it’s just on paper, I would be a fool to choose the former. I understand fully that you only see me as a ‘brat,’ but I’m sure I can prove otherwise, with time.”

Before Tsunade could fully process what he was trying to convey, Wu’s expression hardened further as he said, “Senju Tsunade. Please become my woman.”

Taken aback by Wu’s words and ‘intensity,’ Tsunade found herself at a complete loss. She believed Wu was making a ‘serious’ mistake, but, at the same time, she knew he wasn’t the type that just jumped head first into an arrangement. Thus, even though she really should have shut him down then and there, she remained silent, a contemplative frown marring her face.

Estimating that Tsunade just needed a slight push, Wu left her at an even greater loss for words as he abruptly took a knee and repeated, “Please…” in a serious, sincere, and ostensibly hopeful tone.

Feeling a mixture of giddiness and frustration, enough to cause her lower jaw to tremble, Tsunade grabbed the sides of her head and shouted, “Ah, geez! Why do you have to be so fucking serious and responsible, you little shit!? How am I supposed to let you down gently when you’re like this…!?”

Without missing a beat, Wu adopted a wry smile and ‘graciously’ pointed out, “You don’t ‘have’ to let me down…”

Feeling even more conflicted, Tsunade released a groan of frustration, pulling on her bangs as if she were trying to yank out her hair. One of the downsides to having her youth restored was an increase in the production of various hormones. Tsunade hadn’t felt this frustrated since she was an actual teen, so she eventually shouted, “I can’t deal with this right now…!” before storming off in an irritable huff, taking one final wall with her as she stormed out of the estate…

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Following Tsunade’s little ‘tirade,’ Wu returned to his training as if nothing was amiss. He had pushed Tsunade as far as he could without risking the rapport he had built with her over the past year. All he could do now was let the old man work his magic while he considered how he would explain the situation to Tenten.

Assuming Tsunade said yes, Tenten’s position as the de facto ‘head’ of Wu’s harem would be jeopardized. Tenten had looked up to Tsunade her entire life, actively striving to become like and eventually surpass her idol as a legendary Kunoichi. Her respect and admiration for Tsunade were so great that Wu wouldn’t be surprised if she were the first to volunteer her womb if the former couldn’t ‘stomach’ the responsibility.

Imagining Tenten giving birth to one of Tsunade’s children while the latter assisted the delivery, a wry smile developed across Wu’s face. He usually wasn’t affected by such sentiments, but even he could see how…peculiar his circumstances were. Before his encounter with Hiruzen, he had largely excluded Tsunade from his plans. Now, he would need to revise almost all of them ‘around’ her. It was kind of exciting…reminding him of the way he felt after his initial encounter with the Raikage…

Sensing someone intruding upon his training field, Wu’s gaze sharpened as he muttered, “I swear to all the Gods in Heaven…”

Swinging his staff, Wu uprooted the reinforced wooden post, sending it crashing through the surrounding trees, narrowly missing the person who was attempting to spy on him.

After dodging Wu’s ‘attack,’ a middle-aged man with long, spiky white hair and an outfit resembling a Kabuki performer jumped out, hands raised as he said, “Whoa, now. Cool your jets, kid. I just stopped over to ensure you weren’t in the same condition as the front gate.”

Shouldering his staff, Wu pretended to be surprised, asking, “Jiraiya…? I didn’t expect to see you here. Did the old man recall you for the Chunin Exams?”

“Right…”

As he had always been skeptical of Wu, questioning his credibility as the ‘Child of Prophecy,’ Jiraiya narrowed his eyes slightly before remarking, “I heard about the arrangement proposed by the old man. I might be a little biased, but aren’t you a little young to be engaging in village politics? You should be-”

Narrowing his eyes into a half-lidded expression, Wu revealed, “I initially took your side in the discussion with the old man. However, he was right when he pointed out that you’ve had forty years to sway Tsunade’s heart. I don’t mind giving you a peach, but you’re mistaken if you think I’ll back down after coming this far. I don’t make decisions rashly, and I always try to follow through on what I’ve decided.”

Losing his usual smile, Jiraiya asserted, “Tsunade suffered a lot during and after the war. It broke my heart anew every time I saw her like that, but I also respected her decision when she snubbed my affections. I can never express how truly grateful I am for you giving her a second chance, Wu-kun. However, I can’t approve of this situation…the Senju had already become a defunct Clan by the end of the war. Reviving them now will only cause tensions between the villages and place a disproportionate burden on Tsunade. If you genuinely care for her, you would permit her to live her life in peace…”

Regaining his severity, Wu insisted, “That’s precisely what I’m doing. The only person that can make a decision in this matter is Tsunade herself. All I’m doing is giving her the option of shifting her burden onto me, someone who isn’t afraid of how the other villages might react…”

Punctuating his words, Wu tossed a pale pink and white peach at Jiraiya, explaining, “That’s a twenty-year peach. I would give you a fifty-year one, but I’d rather not test to see if it would return you to your infancy. Do with that what you will. I intend to do the same.”

Instead of immediately consuming the peach, Jiraiya slipped it into his pocket, saying, “This doesn’t change anything. However, so long as you don’t attempt to pressure Tsunade into accepting the arrangement, I’ll drop the matter here…”

Finished with what he had to say, Jiraiya turned away and used Shunshin to ‘flicker’ away at an impressive speed. In the wake of his departure, Wu just rolled his eyes before attempting to return to his training. Fortunately, his next guest wouldn’t arrive until later that night. Unfortunately, it just so happened to be a drunken Tsunade, busting into his room and forcing him to drink alongside her as she complained about everything from his age to his hair color while simultaneously talking about herself as if she were the most incredible thing to happen to the Elemental Nations in the past fifty-one-years…

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With Tsunade having kicked him out of his room, Wu spent much of the early morning relaxing in the hallway, lying on the ground with his hands behind his head. He planned for her to ‘discover’ him when she eventually woke up, so he was passing the time tracking the Chakra signatures that entered his range. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes each time he sensed Jiraiya stopping by, but he also couldn’t blame the man for his obsession. Tsunade didn’t have the best personality, but her power, appearance, and, most notably, her breasts were near the pinnacle of what a woman could achieve without ‘external’ assistance.

Recalling all the breasts he had come into contact with throughout his life, a faint smile developed across Wu’s face. He had never understood the appeal of bulbous meat sacks danging from a woman’s chest when he was younger, but his perspective had gradually shifted after an ‘incident’ with Ino.

Just as he had asked Hinata to use her Gentle Fist Technique against him to increase his resistance to having his Tenketsu, Wu had permitted Ino to practice her Mind-Body Switch Jutsu on him. Having his mind invaded and body hijacked was, as could be expected, very unpleasant. However, as it was possible to break free from such techniques with adequate willpower, Wu proactively goaded Ino into using it against him. He even resisted it a few times, prompting the nettled blonde to practice in secret, fooling him into believing she had reached a bottleneck before surprising him several months later with a ‘complete’ takeover. After that…Wu learned quite a bit about the ‘vengeful nature’ of women and the unfettered curiosity of pubescent girls…

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(A/N: O_O…)