I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick

Chapter 52: Carrot and Stick

Needing to use the bathroom, Tsunade awoke with a pained groan, her vision swimming before she cradled her head and used the Mystic Palm to alleviate her hangover. Afterward, she took a moment to inspect her surroundings, memories of the previous night resurfacing in her mind as she gave herself a quick once-over.

Confirming everything was where it should be, Tsunade muttered, “Well, at least he didn’t try to take advantage of me while I was drunk…” before rising from Wu’s bed. Fortunately, despite having a very traditional layout, Wu’s bedroom had an attached bathroom, complete with a shower and a small, Ofuro-style bath.

Giving her pits a quick whiff, Tsunade snorted in disgust before peeling away her clothes, tossing them to the side, and turning on the hot water. She ordinarily wouldn’t bathe in another person’s home, but she wanted to see if Wu had the ‘audacity’ to try and sneak a peek at her. Before that, however, she relieved herself, exhaling a sigh before staring at the floor with an unfocused look.

Though it made her feel frustrated and annoyed each time she did so, Tsunade mentally replayed the scene of Wu ‘proposing’ to her. She lacked the perfect recall of Wu, but she wouldn’t have been able to become the best Iryonin in history if she struggled with remembering things.

Recalling the serious expression on Wu’s face and the ‘sincerity’ in his tone, Tsunade muttered, “That brat…I wonder how many girls he’s fooled with that exact expression…”

Hanging her head, Tsunade propped herself up with her right hand and knee, unable to shake the impression she was about to make a ‘very’ big mistake. What Wu didn’t know was that, rather than losing all of her bets, as per usual, Tsunade had gone on a winning streak. She had told herself that if she went into the red, she would immediately tell Hirzuen, Wu, and the Council to go fuck themselves. Unfortunately, every time she placed a big bet with the intention of losing, she won a lot more than she lost…

With the bath nearly overflowing, Tsunade muttered, “I can’t believe I’m actually considering this…” before getting up to turn it off. Getting inside caused a considerable volume of water to displace, but after destroying the front gate and several walls, Tsunade didn’t care if she caused a bit of water damage.

As the heat from the bath permeated her body, chasing away her fatigue and filling her with a sense of comfort, Tsunade began to absentmindedly inspect her body. It had been more than a year since Wu gifted her what appeared to be an ordinary peach, claiming it would ‘make her beautiful’ again. She had nearly smacked him for implying she was ugly but stayed her hand due to peach’s fragrant aroma. Now, even though an entire year had passed, Tsunade still couldn’t believe she had regained her youth, an indescribable blessing that was also a curse…

Sinking into the tub until only the upper half of her face was revealed, Tsunade started to blow bubbles as she thought, (“Perhaps this is what I deserve for refusing to live but being too afraid to die…if I had just ended it all instead of taking Shizune as my apprentice, none of this would have happened…”)

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As if to end things then and there, Tsunade sank further into the tub, eyes closed as she exhaled the breath from her lungs and waited. She had long lost track of the number of regrets she had, but no matter how tantalizing the notion of simply inhaling was, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. There was still so much she had to do…so many memories she had to honor…

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Sensing Tsunade’s approach and feeling the vibration of her footsteps through the floor, Wu immediately relaxed the tensions in his body and pretended to be asleep. Guilt was a powerful tool, so he intended to give Tsunade a light push by giving her the impression she had forced him to sleep outside on the cold hard floor.

Hearing the door to his room slide open, followed by Tsunade saying, “Get up, brat…” Wu opened his eyes, briefly feigning confusion before widening them in genuine shock. Instead of her previous outfit, Tsunade wore one of his baggier t-shirts. Under normal circumstances, Wu wouldn’t even bat an eye at this. The problem was that it was the ‘only’ thing she happened to be wearing…

Raising her foot, Tsunade attempted to step on Wu’s face as she asked, “Where are you staring, brat?” Unfortunately, while she was able to get out her words, Wu effortlessly evaded her attack by tilting his head to the side, his mouth slightly agape and eyes still wide.

Resisting the urge to tap dance on the boy’s face, Tsunade turned around and ordered, “Just get up and come inside…” before walking deeper into the interior.

Though he was half-tempted to comment how he intended to do precisely that, Wu rolled to his feet and followed after Tsunade in ‘stunned’ silence. When she sat on his bed, he just stared at her from several meters away until she furrowed her brows and said, “Sit down.”

Instead of moving over to the bed as Tsunade intended, Wu dropped down and sat in seiza in the center of the room, his back straight as a board as he stared back at her with a blank expression on his face. His actions caused her brow to twitch slightly, but she just pulled her leg up onto the bed, adopting a very unladylike posture that barely concealed the more ‘important’ bits with her foot.

Seeing Wu’s gaze follow her actions, his eyes widening slightly, Tsunade’s expression became pointed as she remarked, “You little pervert…”

As his actions were calculated, Wu did not attempt to justify them as he raised his gaze to meet Tsunade’s, patiently awaiting whatever she had to say next. It took well over a minute, but she eventually exhaled through her nose and said, “I don’t know what star you were born under, but it’s clearly a fortunate one. Consider yourself lucky, brat…I have decided to accept your proposal…”

Though he still had his wits about him, Wu pretended to enter a daze before taking things a step further by falling over like a statute, still in a flawless seiza. Tsunade gave him a stupefied look, but before she could say anything or ask if he was okay, Wu abruptly bounced to his feet and shouted, “Booyah! Jackpot, baby…!”

Recovering from her brief stupor, a smile developed across Tsunade’s despite the twitching of her eye as she appended, “Don’t get too excited, brat. This doesn’t mean you suddenly have a license to do whatever you want with my body. Also, before we talk about anything else, we need to discuss your penchant for flirting with other girls. If you’re serious about becoming the incumbent Head of the Senju Clan, you’re going to have to stop playing around.”

While she didn’t know how far Wu had gone, Tsunade knew for certain that he had ‘played’ with multiple girls. The thought of being in a harem, even if it was ultimately just a facade, made her uncomfortable. So too did the thought of getting pregnant, but that was marginally more acceptable than implanting her eggs into a bunch of brats and watching them raise her kids…

Catching Tsunade more than a little by surprise, the excitement drained from Wu’s face, replaced by a serious expression as he said, “I refuse.” in a firm tone. Then, before she could get irate or ask him to explain himself, he asserted, “Think what you will, but I’m not a bastard who toys with the hearts of women. Anyone I’ve set my sights on, I did so willingly and with the intent to help them improve. They have all accepted that I am fated to have numerous wives and have agreed to work together. I will not spit in the face of their resolve by simply ‘throwing them away’ to marry another woman. You are remarkable, Tsunade. You truly are. But I’m asking you to walk the same path while you’re asking me to ‘abandon everything’ just to be with you…it’s not a fair compromise. Not even remotely…”

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Though her instinct was to tell Wu he could go fuck himself, Tsunade found herself cowed by his words. She realized she hadn’t really thought about things from his perspective, but, at the same time, she couldn’t just become ‘one’ of Wu’s women. Her pride wouldn’t allow her to play second fiddle to anyone, especially not girls half or even a third her actual age…

Before Tsunade could compose herself, Wu left her feeling at an even greater loss as he bowed his head, a look of profound regret on his face as he somberly muttered, “I’m…sorry for wasting your time…”

Without waiting for a response, Wu turned around and promptly ‘fled’ from the room. He could deduce from Tsunade’s words and choice of clothing that she planned to ‘put her foot down’ before giving him a ‘reward,’ but as much of his behavior was an act, he was also being sincere. There was no way he would give up girls like Tenten, Tayuya, or any other girl he had set his sights on just to be with somebody who had to force herself to be with him. He was looking for partners, strong women who could help him achieve his goals and vice versa. Tsunade was out of her depths if she believed he was somehow ‘fortunate’ to be allowed to give up everything just to be placed under her heel…

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Not expecting someone she had agreed to marry to just ‘run off,’ Tsunade just stared at the door to Wu’s room in bewilderment. She really had been planning to reward him when he promised to give up other women, so she felt a little…ashamed to be left sitting atop his bed, naked from the waist down and wearing his t-shirt…

After nearly two full minutes of staring with her mouth slightly agape, Tsunade lowered her head and asked herself, “I couldn’t possibly be in the wrong here, can I? I mean…what self-respecting woman, much less one with my background, would accept being in a harem…?”

Shaking her head, Tsunade muttered, “Impossible…” despite the notion she was making a grave mistake. One of the reasons she had accepted Wu’s proposal was because he was one of the better choices. The only other person she might consider was Jiraiya, but even if Wu gave him a peach, there would be a disparity in their ages. There was also the fact that Jiraiya was an incurable pervert and, due to the need to maintain his information network, rarely in Konoha.

Though it made her feel like a cradle robber, Tsunade concluded that if she had to choose between Jiraiya and Wu, she would choose the latter. Jiraiya and her might have worked out when they were kids, but she had known the man for over forty years. She had also spurned him for close to twenty-five, so it just didn’t feel right to choose him now…

Exhaling one of the most exasperated sighs of her life, Tsunade plopped down on Wu’s bed, arms and legs splayed out as she stared blankly at the ceiling above. She had a lot to think about, and this was also the first time she was on the receiving end of a rejection. The most incredulous thing about that was that she had been rejected by a boy that had proposed to her…a proposal she had accepted…

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(A/N: Tsunade isn’t wrong, but neither is Wu. Asking him to sacrifice for her when he is going out of his way to ensure she can live as she pleases isn’t very considerate xD…)