Reincarnated as a Phoenix

Chapter 180 – Honeymoon History

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Sleeping like two wedded angels after making this marriage official in our own strange kinky way, me and Petra just simply refuse to awake the next morning enjoying the not wanting to get out of bed stage. Except, someone has to spoil the mood...

[<Aesa would like to inform Ikarus that a level up has been obtained>]

'Yawnnn... really Aesa? First thing in the morning and I'm still feeling things from yesterday. Couldn't you at least have waited a bit?'

Instead of being romantically locked up in cuddles with Petra for as long as possible, of course Aesa has to go into all the boring system stuff. No one freaking cares about a single level! Even if it was obtained via sex...

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[<Aesa is unable to sleep so having waited 10+ hours already, my patience level has already been exceeded>]

[Name: Ikarus | Species: Phoenix | Level: 609]

[Health 83,333/83,333]

[Stamina 40,000/40,000]

[Magicka 83,333/83,333]

[You currently have 17834 unassigned points]

'Damn, my eyes weren't ready for all that unenchanted crappiness... Still don't see the point in this Aesa, I'm not doing anything with it till it's at twenty thousand'

[<Aesa still needs to update Ikarus regardless. Ikarus can go back to asleep now>]

'Me and you both know that's no longer an option'

Anyway, about the buying abilities thing. I know it's always been a little odd but my way is odd. I can only buy three of the four abilities left to purchase and just knowing I'm that close to finishing off will be irritating. Also, should be no need for my system if our honeymoon goes to plan, can't really think of any place safer than where we plan to go.

"*Yawn*... heh, morning Ikarus. Last night was pretty dope"

"Look at you using my lingo! Say dope for me again Petra"

"Heh... dope"

"Ah, my loins... have a quick kiss for payment"

Giving Petra a quick kiss interrupting the chuckle she was about to do; this morning has already been salvaged so I'm not fussed about the annoying wakeup call now. We probably should start getting ready though.

"You still down for our little honeymoon adventure Petra?"

"Heh, of course Ikarus. You're not getting cold feet at the idea, are you?"

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"Why would I be? The chance to go back home is epic! I'm literally going to treat you to anything you want"

"Heh, I'll take your booty with a side order of fluster to go then"

"You know what I mean... that was pretty clever though"

What we're doing for our honeymoon is pretty damn simple really, we're heading back to Earth. I've been putting off showing the slight history I have basically since forever so considering we apparently have some time before things get bloody and violent, might as well reveal those demons in my closet then.

The idea of our honeymoon I've been keeping partially secret due to knowing some people would want to come alone, mainly the other phoenixes. Ariza already knows about our plans but didn't want to come along, only asking for me to bring a few medical books in Spanish if possible. Not sure why she wants it in the language due to us all having translate but at least it confirms the theory of senorita Ariza then.

The problem is Zeki and the fact I could imagine him never coming home if he returns, not even considering the danger it could bring if we don't get any restrictions. Maybe one day I'll bring him back and see what happens but for now, he's not escaping his destiny being the boy toy for the dryad. This isn't even coming from a place of spite but, I'm more than justified considering how he is.

Anyways, Petra seems surprisingly excited considering she never wanted to return all that much. Maybe it's down to me getting excited more than anything else.

"Let's go get dressed and make a move on th-... Petra, we can't go until you release me"

Her arms find their way wrapped my waist pulling me further into her embrace. I can already tell Petra's in a clingy mood today and hey, I'm always for being the less clingy lovebird every now and then.

"Heh, but I want you wearing that chemise for longer Ikarus. Can't we just teleport over there, like this?"

"No Petra, I've already made the mistake once before TPing to Denver's place. I don't know if my place is still under my name so going straight inside could get us in real trouble"

Imagine if someone new lives there and just so happens to see two women dressed in nightwear teleporting onto their sofa! It would be funny as hell but may end with us ending up in handcuffs. Unfortunately, not the fun sort of way...

Anyways, Petra eventually lets me go all the while sulking into the pillow. Actually, she's now getting out that demonic Ikarus plushie from storage to sulk into. I fucking hate that little bastard.

'She'll get this out of her system soon enough. If she doesn't, maybe I'll just have to princess carry her everywhere until she's satisfied her addiction...'

__________

'Huh, the ol'place still looks the same, shitty as ever. Hopefully, that's a good sign'

In an unknown town, in an unknown county close by to the heart of the colonizing capital that once ruled the waves behind an empire, me and Petra stand around outside a random bungalow once used as my place of residence. This area has seen better days, but home is what you make of it after all.

Having just teleported round the back, we make our way to the front door and the sight of a single car driving past really feels odd. Even the modern buildings around here makes me feel like we're in a world we really shouldn't be in. Maybe it's some incompatibility with phoenixes and real life, it's like this world is a dungeon and the other is the real one. I know for a fact this was once my home though.

Before we can move onto showing Petra my past, a stressed-out AI can't help but bring up a problem. My odd feeling clearly has some reason behind it.

[<Aesa needs to inform Ikarus that most of the system is currently under review and Ikarus has no access to all core systems at the moment>}

'Review? What the hell does that mean?'

[<Aesa is being told by the powers that be, a return like this is too unnatural and messes up the order of things. Ikarus will be treated as an anomaly of sorts and won't be allowed such unfiltered access to her abilities>]

At least this makes sense for why Earth has no actual magic and stuff like that. Apparently, we all have something watching over and putting restrictions on fun shit.

What's the point in being an atheist if this shit can happen? Maybe it's less of a God like in our world and more of an energy higher power sort of thing? I still find it a little hard to believe there's a bearded guy ruling over this world despite everything odd I've experienced so I can reluctantly remain an atheist here then.

Despite me trying to figure out what the point of our species even is now, something else is really scary from what was just said...

'So, no abilities then? Doesn't that mean we're fucking stuck here!? Teleporting is an ability!'

Shit shit shit! We don't even know how quick time passes and here we are potentially being locked out from teleporting home!

[<The powers that be say they're giving you an exception since they don't want you loitering around for too long. Honestly Ikarus, Aesa can't blame them. We have the power comparable to a nuclear state right now so the faster we leave; the safer things will be on both sides>]

Phew, that's a massive weight of my shoulders and Aesa is always right with this sort of thing. As if I could be allowed to walk and fly around Earth, even the feathers on my back and wings aren't visible or useable right now. Heck, I don't even think I can use the phoenix bod as well but something like this shouldn't be too surprising. There's a reason why everyone loves being reincarnated or summoning stories so much because we get away from this boring sort of crap.

'Aesa, what about enchantments though? This entire journey is going to be wasted if I can't bring shit back with me'

A honeymoon with Petra is great and all but what's the entire point if I can't bring back a literal tonne of fast food, fizzy drink and motherfucking chocolate!?! Ah, I'm going to print out a load of recipes as well and pass them onto Marcus, our settlement it going to end up with modern food everywhere! This trip will suck balls if I can't do that...

[<*Sigh*... Aesa has told -user- time and time again enchantments do not exist, -user- keeps bringing up that dream. They don't exist in original, new world or any world we've visited so stop bringing that recurring dream up>]

'Wait, what are you on abo-...'

Almost as if I've had an epiphany mid thought, I realize what Aesa is trying to do and decide to leave her to fight our case. If we're still able to use enchantments, that means my weapons, dress and even my storage will work. That only ever started as an enchanted ring gifted by my parents after all, then integrated into my system but was never an actual ability.

"Petra, while Aesa is clearly trying her best at manipulating who knows what, I kinda need your help with a couple of things. The first is about the time, how much do you think we have here?"

Athena's blessing being the reason why Petra is like an interdimensional clock. She is now apparently part Goddess or something, still don't know everything about that because Asmodeus is someone who doesn't like to spoil the show despite knowing our future.

"Hmm... time is definitely sped up massively here Ikarus. I feel like the ratio is... maybe a day to a month? Heh, we're going to have way less time than expected'

An entire month!? Okay, we need to make haste then, no time for sleeping or anything like that for the next couple of days. I'd skip showing Petra around my house if I couldn't tell she really wants to know who I was before becoming Ikarus. I'd honestly rather not but I owe her considering how much she's been forced to share her history with me.

How the hell does that work though? The numbers I mean, how long would six-hundred years be compared to Earth time? Erm... the numbers Mason! Seriously though, that would be... twelve days is a year...

[<To give Ikarus a quick hand, Aesa can roughly guess it would be 200 years to 240 days here on Earth. The timespan of reincarnating phoenixes makes sense, at least if going of wife's sensing of time>]

'Oi, thanks for the assist Aesa, but we need to set some ground rules here. She's MY wife, not yours so don't think I'm allowing that'

I love Aesa in a weird sort of indescribable way but sometimes, it just feels like she's a cockier version of me. Just because she gets to explore around in the bedroom time to time with us doesn't mean we're sharing Petra!

[<Aesa absolutely refuses to accept that and will not back down from Ikarus refusing to share OUR wife... Back to the powers that be, Aesa has no intention to allow Ikarus to do anything stupid during this trip. Forced paralysis and threat of death will be applied if she does misbehav-...>]

'You little shitbag...'

"...Thanks for the time thing anyways Petra. Aesa's being a pain right now, a somewhat useful pain so blame her for my attention span. Can you also give me a quick lift up as well? I was a tad taller back then"

On top of the bungalow door is a little ledge that I used to put a key on top of. Sure, I feel like I could easily kick the door down or break some glass but if my house now belongs to someone else, then that really isn't a great idea. It doesn't look like it's changed at all though.

"Heh, only if you use my shoulders Ikarus"

"I don't need that much of a lift but, if you insist"

Quickly getting onto Petra shoulders and taking a second to receive the key, I realize I've got a slight problem when this woman just can't help herself. We've done a bit like this before!

"Oi Petra... you gonna let me down yet?"

"Heh, don't want to Ikarus"

'Clingy Petra people! I was right about her today'

"No? So you plan on carrying me inside like this? Even you can't get us both through the door"

"Heh, what can I say Ikarus? Guess I like having your thighs around my neck"

"*Sigh*... just put me down already, devilish vixen! We haven't got the time for this!"

"Aww..."

While letting me down, Petra let's out a really depressing aww making me feel like I've just kicked a puppy or something. I'm only trying to be practical about this but now I feel like shit. I'll probably let her do something really embarrassing to me later on to make up for it, that way it can be fun for both of us.

Anyways, opening the door and being presented with an Earthy musky smell, I know for a fact this place is still mine... That sounds sus as fuck but you'll hopefully never understand the reason why it smells like this. The faster we get through this, the less chance of meeting that idiot...

The bungalow itself is quite different to what you may expect but mostly down to all the technology around the place and the fact it's really cosy. The best way I can describe it is to be literal, imagine a home that once used to be owned by a grandma but has been massively converted into something modern housing two guys with two bedrooms. I'm actually surprised the place has even been cleaned, it normally only ever got done once or twice a year.

"This was once your home Ikarus? It's... different from what I expected. Heh, where's all the pink, dresses and flowers?"

"Funny. I'd apologize about it not being decorated well but, two guys living together kinda has that effect"

"You lived with someone?"

"Yeah, let's leave that discussion for another time Petra. I'm doing everything in my power to avoid seeing him. I'm getting some stuff from my room real quick so make yourself at home, I guess"

Petra starts to have a quick look around while I head straight into my old bedroom getting an overwhelming sense of nostalgia from my bland ass bedroom.

'Brilliant, my phone was still on charge. Passcode was sixty-nine, sixty-nine... and, I now have the entire internet within my grasp! Wait, did I have anything naughty on this? Ah, I don't care if Petra looks through it, we're both perverts anyway'

A single bed, some drawers, a wardrobe, a desk with a gaming PC on it and piles and piles of clothes that clearly haven't been touched in a while. It's the epitome of a single guy's bedroom and honestly makes me feel a little sad but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

As quickly as possible, I gather my phone, my wallet and an armful full of clothes so me and Petra can use if needed. Sure, kimonos are great and all but we may stand out even more than usual like this. Besides, I've been wanting some modern clothing for a while so this is just more of an excuse for something comfortable really. Will probably have to clothes shopping here at some point as well.

"These will obviously be too big but we can always buy somethi-... what are you looking at Petra?"

"Who's the girl Ikarus? Was she your sister?"

Petra appears to have found a photo frame of a long-haired person standing overlooking one of the towers in the capital city. The fact that's still here pisses me off more than you could imagine.

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"Your blindness seriously makes no sense at time. That picture... it's erm... kinda, me. One of my exes suggested growing out my hair and I just never got around to cutting it off"

"Heh, that's really you Ikarus? Seriously? You won't want to hear it but the old you, you're just as cute as the new you"

"Urgh... if you know I don't want to hear it, then don't say it!"

Now I'm fully justified in pouting at my teasing girlfriend. I didn't look like that much of a girl, right!? Even Vikings used to grow out their hair so it's clearly not that girly. That being said, I do remember another ex-putting makeup on me once and I swear I looked better than her...

I'm pretty sure I said once I had the look of a stereotypical look? Yeah, the stereotypical look of a guy that looks like a female. That's not the first time I've heard that and I doubt it'll ever be the last, if I hadn't evolved past puny humanity standards anyway.

"I've got to ask Ikarus, what's even the story of this place? You seemed pretty certain the house was yours despite it being left for so long"

"Ah, the only other person living here would never move out even if he won the lottery. It may take a little longer to explain than you may think though..."

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The story behind Ikarus that's been long overdue, it must be filled full of fun and silliness, right? It's a hell of a lot more grounded and boring in reality.

As a child, I spent a lot of time bouncing home to home as my parents died in a car accident when I was really young. I don't even remember that much from the time period except ending up in a dozen households all with different faces that blur into one.

It wasn't till I was eighteen where I was contacted by a group that handles wills. It turns out, my unknown parents had set up a decent inheritance fund and this old bungalow was also part of the will belonging to my original mother's mother. Apparently, the files got messed up on a technicality so this place was sitting empty for years before everything was settled, all the while the other side of the family tried to claim it for themselves but the will explicitly said nothing goes to them.

You can imagine how much they hated me when I randomly came along claiming the inheritance that had been sitting for years. It's not like I tried to, it was explicitly listed for the two sons so what were we supposed to do?

I won't go into a specific number but it was enough to not work if you plan carefully. Considering I have no plans to stay and we've only got two days, if all that money ends up spent bringing stuff back to the settlement, then so be it. I may even go around buying engineering books and things like that as well, Marcus is going to be in his element getting all this to all the right places. Just give it some time, we could make the settlement completely modern...

"...So then, that's basically my story Petra. I did always say it's not that interesting"

Petra was listening intensely during my quick explanation but seems a little concerned about all that was said. I don't like sharing mostly because it bores the hell out of me, my old life is a cliché in its own right.

"That was more interesting than you think Ikarus. Are you okay saying all that though? Your past sounds gloomier than I expected"

"It's not that bad though, is it? You and Mute have experienced way worse Petra"

"You really shouldn't compare histories Ikarus. My past may also be troubled but bad history is still bad history. It doesn't make it any easier to handle so are you actually okay?"

As stupid as it sounds, I kinda just shrug Petra's words off a little. Is not knowing your original parents that bad? I guess foster care wasn't great but some of the families I remember being nice. Life was comfortable enough back here, just immensely boring more than anything else. I really don't see where the problem is.

Just as I'm about to change the subject into something a little lighter, the front door lock twists from a key turning the mechanism. I knew this meeting would be inevitable but this still isn't going to be fun.

"Huh? Who the fuck are you two!?"